how can i cope??

[leanne27]

about three weeks ago a very very close friend of mine went to New York for a holiday, he told me he had booked the tickets for 3 weeks (he has gone to visit family) i knew i would miss him but at that time when he was about to leave i was actually wanting him to go because i was confused about our relasonship - i think i mentioned in another thread i was all confused because 2 months ago we became a lot more than friends ( i have secretly liked him for months now but never wanted to ruin our frienship by admitting so) however about 2 months ago he told me he was starting to have feelings for me and so a few days later i texted him (i know i should have told him face to face) that i felt the same.

He then texted me back sayin " i think your wicked as a mate just that's as far as it goes" I was left feeling all confused but then he said he wanted to see me that following saturday i was busy and so we saw each other on the monday, things were slightly akward as last time we had seen each other things had seriously developed in our relasonship, however i found out how long he was planning on going to New York for and he told me 3 weeks, since he has been gone i have been the most depressed i have ever been.

I literally do not know what to do, he went on friday the 14th of july and so i presumed would be back 2 days ago on friday the 4th as that has been 3 weeks, but i have still not heard from him and he is not yet back, he told my other friend he was going for 3 and a half weeks and also his other mate he would be back this week so i know he must be due back soon, but i dont know i think im reely loosing it:crying: i cant concentrate on anything i actually dont care about anything anymore ALL i want is him back, i now realise that i truly love this guy and i feel really scared and lonely without him.

He has helped me out so many times before when ive been loew he has always been at the end of the phone or there to email but now he isn't, my best friend is tired of listening and im taking out all my anger on my mum who is sick of me talking about him, im just so sad, so what i want really is some advice or someone with a different perspective to talk to, i just feel so low and that actually scares me that without just one person i can feel like this, i feel like half of me is missing and just miss him so much it actually hurts, i really dont know how to cope, he's the last thing i think about at night and the first thing i think about at night, even when i sleep i dream about him EVERY night!!! its like i cant get away from him and its really wearing me down now, im not acting like me anymore, please help, thanks for reading.

[Jojo]

Maybe he doesn't know what he wants, but if I were you, I'd concentrate on your daughter rather than on this guy who can't seem to make his mind up. When he gets back, have a chat with him, find out where you both stand with each other. Its hard, but if he doesn't feel the same way there isn't a lot you can do about it and you have a gorgeous baby girl that you can put all of your effort into. From what you've said, one minute he wants to be more than friends, the next he doesn't, then he does - might sound horrible but sounds like a "cake and eat it" situation, which isn't fair on you.

Sorry if that doesn't help much, but if hes going to mess you around, he isn't worth your worry and effort. Your daughter is worth far more than him.

[leanne27]

No any advice is really valued right now! lol My daughter means the world to me but he is amazing with her, whenever i tell this story to people they always ask me "is he using you?" but trust me he is not like that he knows EVERYTHING about me and has been there for me through everything he regularly abandons any of his plans to help sort me out he has told me he loved me plenty of times and he admitted he had been having feelings for me but did not want to act on them incase they lead to a relasonship between us, he was scared the relasonship and he would not have me as a friend no more, that is what we have both feared, we mean too much to each other to rush into anything i guess.

[Jojo]

I just think what he is saying is a cop out - most people would say that their husband/wife/partner are their best friends - if he truly wanted to take things further, to another level, and cared about you that much in that way, then nothing else would matter.

[Skits]

i know this is going to sound horrible but having been in that situation and kind've still am, don't get involved. stay friends but leave it like that. it's so hard but you owe it to yourself and your daughter.

[Siobhan]

I hope you don't mind me asking and maybe you answered it in another thread but where is your daughters father in all this?

Em is right, the guys seems to be blowing hot and cold with you and you will probably cope better without him. Concentrate on you and your baby, at least that is one person in your life who will love you no matter what

[leanne27]

The baby's father Jamie left me when i was pregnant, we decided things wern't working out, he didnt seem to be interested in the baby at all, i often attended scans on my own, he is now with someone else, he sees Caitlin regularly though and seems to be enjoying being a dad, though now there is no chance of us getting back together again, and today my friend told me Rob is back from New york, im just so confused and actually annoyed with him though no one but me seems to understand why.

[leanne27]

everyone im not really asking for advice mainly just wanting someone to talk to, i have reached an all time low, im tired and fed up of living next week im planning to kill myself or considering it at least, everyone would be better off and it would stop me from getting my heart broken anymore than it has been, all i want is confidantes really someone to listen but i really doubt ill change my decision.

[Luna]

do you really think this is appropriate for the forum with young members on here... i dont think so...stop attention seeking

[.:SpIcYsPy:.]

Hey leanne, I know you said nothing will probably change your mind.. I don't know much but you should just think it through. Everyone has their heart broken and will be confused. It may be your way of dealing with things but give it time :)

Don't really know what to say hun.. but you know x

[Jojo]

everyone im not really asking for advice mainly just wanting someone to talk to, i have reached an all time low, im tired and fed up of living next week im planning to kill myself or considering it at least, everyone would be better off and it would stop me from getting my heart broken anymore than it has been, all i want is confidantes really someone to listen but i really doubt ill change my decision. Do you think your daughter would be better off without you?? Think of how much your daughter will need her mum in the future. If you are feeling that down and depressed, speak to your health visitor - they are there to help and advise and its confidential. You can talk to them about everything and they will listen and advise if and where appropriate.

[Skits]

i'd have to agree with jojomum. you have to think of your daughter. if you don't want to speak to someone face to face, try the samaritans. you should maybe think about seeing your gp and see what advice they give you.

i've only just realised that you just had your baby in july. maybe you're suffering from post natal depression. see your gp leanne before it gets you totally down.