alan45
11-07-2006, 23:05
:cool: THIS week confirmed it. Keith Miller is the worst character in the history of EastEnders.
There have been others almost as irksome or repulsive: Dan Ferreira, that ridiculous undercover Geordie cop Kate, Gita...
But Keith - lurking in the TV in the corner of your living room, like a tramp in an art installation - makes your skin crawl.
He arrived two years ago - as an imitation of Frank Gallagher from Shameless: an uncouth, crimson-faced slob happy to let his partner Rosie work to feed their charmless children while he sat in his smelly armchair watching telly all day whingeing.
And yet Keith is portrayed as being An Alright Bloke. This is mostly because - like dozens of other thick thugs and Cockney wasters before him in EastEnders - He Loves His Kids. (As Chris Rock famously said, you're supposed to love your kids.)
This week, Keith finally got his comeuppance. A few months after her dalliance with Jim Carver from The Bill, Rosie finally ditched Keith at the altar.
For one glorious episode, it looked as if he was getting kicked out. And then, for reasons beyond me, the scriptwriters axed Rosie and kept Keith.
As if this wasn't bad enough, the idiots only got rid of two Miller kids (Demi and her bay-bay), leaving Mickey, Darren and Danniella Westbrook-clone Dawn behind.
Rosie moved to the Cotswolds which, the way she tells it, is the employment capital of Europe. (Then again, if someone as gormless as Rosie can get a job there, anyone can.)
"This is a new life. I'm sorry Keith. I just don't want you in it," she explained, taking the words right out of my mouth.
Last night, Keith was still taking her departure badly. He "looked awful" according to Dawn, hasn't washed, or made it to the corner shop to feed his kids. He spends his days in his chair watching children's TV, a slovenly mess, in his own squalor...
No hang on a minute, he was like that before: Oliver Reed without the charm or the excuse of the alcohol.
The rest of the week was just as bad. A couple of years ago when the Millers, Gus and Juley and the Ferreiras invaded, EastEnders had so many teenagers it was turning into Hollyoaks (or worse, Brookside).
NOW, there are so many young kids, it's like watching Bala-*******ing-mory (as the Alastair Campbell character called it in The Thick Of It) than a serious 'serial drama'.
Even with Courtney away, more than half the airtime this week was devoted to the Beale brats, Max Branning's kids, Phil's sack-race lectures with Ben, and Martin and Sonia's tug-of-love dimbo, I mean daughter Rebecca.
The acting is abysmal. Take this scene between Rebecca and Sonia.
Sonia: "I've got a surprise for you."
Rebecca: "I. like. Surprises."
Sonia: "I'm a lesbian!" (No, that wasn't it).
Sonia: "I'm going to stop being a lesbian!" (No, that wasn't it either).
Sonia: "I'm going to take you to the seaside."
Rebecca: "Granny Margaret. Took. Me. To. The. Seaside. Once... I. Got. Sand. In. My. Socks."
If there was one scene that summed it up, that was it.
EastEnders has become a show for imbeciles. Keith Miller probably loves it.
Courtesy of Shelleyvision DAILY MIRROR
Very Accurate synopsis
There have been others almost as irksome or repulsive: Dan Ferreira, that ridiculous undercover Geordie cop Kate, Gita...
But Keith - lurking in the TV in the corner of your living room, like a tramp in an art installation - makes your skin crawl.
He arrived two years ago - as an imitation of Frank Gallagher from Shameless: an uncouth, crimson-faced slob happy to let his partner Rosie work to feed their charmless children while he sat in his smelly armchair watching telly all day whingeing.
And yet Keith is portrayed as being An Alright Bloke. This is mostly because - like dozens of other thick thugs and Cockney wasters before him in EastEnders - He Loves His Kids. (As Chris Rock famously said, you're supposed to love your kids.)
This week, Keith finally got his comeuppance. A few months after her dalliance with Jim Carver from The Bill, Rosie finally ditched Keith at the altar.
For one glorious episode, it looked as if he was getting kicked out. And then, for reasons beyond me, the scriptwriters axed Rosie and kept Keith.
As if this wasn't bad enough, the idiots only got rid of two Miller kids (Demi and her bay-bay), leaving Mickey, Darren and Danniella Westbrook-clone Dawn behind.
Rosie moved to the Cotswolds which, the way she tells it, is the employment capital of Europe. (Then again, if someone as gormless as Rosie can get a job there, anyone can.)
"This is a new life. I'm sorry Keith. I just don't want you in it," she explained, taking the words right out of my mouth.
Last night, Keith was still taking her departure badly. He "looked awful" according to Dawn, hasn't washed, or made it to the corner shop to feed his kids. He spends his days in his chair watching children's TV, a slovenly mess, in his own squalor...
No hang on a minute, he was like that before: Oliver Reed without the charm or the excuse of the alcohol.
The rest of the week was just as bad. A couple of years ago when the Millers, Gus and Juley and the Ferreiras invaded, EastEnders had so many teenagers it was turning into Hollyoaks (or worse, Brookside).
NOW, there are so many young kids, it's like watching Bala-*******ing-mory (as the Alastair Campbell character called it in The Thick Of It) than a serious 'serial drama'.
Even with Courtney away, more than half the airtime this week was devoted to the Beale brats, Max Branning's kids, Phil's sack-race lectures with Ben, and Martin and Sonia's tug-of-love dimbo, I mean daughter Rebecca.
The acting is abysmal. Take this scene between Rebecca and Sonia.
Sonia: "I've got a surprise for you."
Rebecca: "I. like. Surprises."
Sonia: "I'm a lesbian!" (No, that wasn't it).
Sonia: "I'm going to stop being a lesbian!" (No, that wasn't it either).
Sonia: "I'm going to take you to the seaside."
Rebecca: "Granny Margaret. Took. Me. To. The. Seaside. Once... I. Got. Sand. In. My. Socks."
If there was one scene that summed it up, that was it.
EastEnders has become a show for imbeciles. Keith Miller probably loves it.
Courtesy of Shelleyvision DAILY MIRROR
Very Accurate synopsis