confidence

[CrazyLea]

Ok, well this may seem a little silly, but ai'm like reallyyyy shy around people, particularly people i don't know, and was wondering if anyone had any tips to like beat the confidence downer... especially since i'm starign a new job on Monday, which i'm really nervous about cause I don't think i'll know anyone :( ...an help will be greatly appreciated.

[Chris_2k11]

I know it sounds harsh Lea but there isn't really any tips or anything like that.. you just need to try and get it. I lost loads of mine in 2002/03 when I had crap going on at school and home, but I kinda got most of it back when I left school and started college. Just try and come out of your shell a bit more when you're around people, cos at the end of the day it just takes over your life and doesn't get any better if you don't do anything about it. I know how you feel though.

[diamond1]

Well everyone worrys about their first day,Confidence is a bugger my advice is to forget it and just live it,thinking about what can go wrong and not being liked is not going to help -positive thoughts right!?

think I moved to a county all on my own no one with me,and started college and a job in the space of 3 days I got through it.
I like the whole butterfly feelings,I just say screw it and get on with it I like to live on pressure I find it more exciting to do things that seem scary.

dont forget youve always got your friends,family (and all the people on the soapboards)behind you ,good luck

[Pinkbanana]

Its normal to be apprehensive and nervous about starting a new job etc... It the fear of the unknown. Just be yourself is the best advice I can give. As soon as you have settled in, im sure your confidence will soar.

[Behemoth]

Everyone, and I mean everyone, is nervous starting a new job.

The best thing to do is just push any worries you might have about what the other people there will think of you to the back of your mind, even if it's hard, and just act like the most confident person in the world. You'll feel stupid, and you'll feel like everyone can tell your pretending but if you make yourself believe it's true then other people will believe it too. It's all about getting the psychological control; about being the "leader" instead of just keeping your head down and not saying anything. Just go for it!

[xStephaniex]

Right lea. think that everyone in the new job is a friend from college or whatever and just talk to them be like you are on here...funny, cofident and really chatty :p you'll go far !! trust me people will take to you like no tomorow if you beat your confidence and just be yourself ! tell yourself you can do it and you can :p good luck !! let us know how your first day went x x x

[alkalinetrio]

i get that problem i also get nervous about inquiring about jobs on phone i seriously cant phone them up! awwww lea but wooo you've started your job so guess im bit late lol just dont burn the cheese

[CrazyLea]

Okay - got another confidence issue (kind of).

I have gained loads of confidence, since I last wrote this last July. But... when I'm nervous, I mumble, loads!! It's really embarassing, and people must think I'm really stupid lol. I'll give an example.

At work: I'm okay talking to customers... then when say a manager walks in, they say hi, I just mumble lol. I try say Hi *name* and I just go something like *eh* lol. Also occurs sometimes, when I talk to collegues, like when I say something to them, that's to do with work or something I just freze up and mumble lol.

At college: It happenes when I talk to the tutors, I just mumble little words, not even whole sentences lol.

Hope this makes sense. Probably sounds really silly lol. I tried googling it first to see if there was anything, and couldn't find anything, so thought I'd ask if anyone has any advice I could use?

Oh and also. I'm fine around friends. Even those that I've made at College and work.. it's just really weird, and I think if I don't sort it, it will get worse.

[Jojo]

The only thing I would say hun, I just remember that your tutors and your manager at work, are human just like you and I. Sometimes, you feel like they are mega important and thats why you get nervous around you, but your tutors were students once upon a time and your manager was doing the same job as you some time back aswell.

Trying to remember that might help, but have faith in yourself too. :)

[Trinity]

It sounds like you really feel the pressure of trying to make conversation.

Remember conversation is a two way thing, try just saying 'Hi' to someone, and then wait to hear their response. It is easier to answer someone than to make all the running yourself.

Another thing is to make eye contact and smile, the other person will normally smile back and that helps you both to relax.

Talking to people shouldn't be an ordeal, and preplanning what you are going to say or do doesn't work except in presentation type situations - you never know how another person is going to react or what they are going to say - if you have a plan then the chances are that they will say something that doesn't fit in with your expectations and you will feel even more lost.

Asking questions is also a good ice breaker - as long as you listen to the answers and take it from there - too many questions and no time to answer makes the conversation seem like an interrogation.

Just try to relax, take a deep breath and smile. Start with Hi, how are you doing - and take it from there.

Good luck

[Abbie]

I know what you mean lea, I gte like that sometimes, so I just have to stay calm and breathe, may sound a little strange but it works for me.

[CrazyLea]

Just thought I'd let everyone know how it's going lol...

I think I'm getting better. I think I've realised what it is that makes me all mumbly, etc..

This week at work, I've started talking more to the managers, not mumbling like, and just joking about. I think that it's cause I've gotten more comfortable around the people I'm working with. When I'm with people I'm comfortable with, my confidence goes up tons, so I find it easier to talk to people I don't know. Today was better cause I had my best mate in the same outlet as me. So was far more comfy. I think I've realised that, at college, I'm more mumbly, when I'm in the class with everyone. With just the mates I've made, and the teacher, I'm loud. So that's my problem I guess... (if this makes sense of course lol)

[Katy]

i'mreally glad, i have the same problem, it all depends on who i am with, but apparently it gets easier whenyou get older my mum always says.

Glad your feeling mroe confident at work and things.