Log in

View Full Version : Do i tell ?



chance
25-04-2006, 11:48
Right ok here goes..

My sis in law and i are quite close (better just say she is not officially my sis in law as im not married..anyway..) She is pregnant with her second child and has been with her partner for 8 years.Since the birth of there first child who will be 2 in oct,they have gone through a rough patch.There little girl is quite diffucult and so it does out a strain on there relationship.They used to go out quite alot and neither of them are natural parents if you see what i mean.
Anyway a while back she found some text messages from a girl who he works with on his phone,just saying 'are you going to michaels stag do on sat night' anyway..he had told my sis in law that there was a stag do but it was blokes only but she found this text and found out this women from work is gong.They had this big row etc and it threatened to split them up even though he said he hadnt done anything with this girl etc but just flirt.

gosh this is gettin a long story..

Anyway shes told me she hasnt got over the text thing and the fact he lied and talks to this women about there relationship etc.She said she doesnt want sex anymore mainly cus shes pregnant etc and they are like a old couple.she doesnt want to stay with him just for the sake of there daughter but she does still ove him.
Anyway my other half (this is his sister we are talking bout remember) spoke to her other half bout it and he said that he gets offered it on a plate at work and that he could take it if he wants and he has been very tempted but he hasnt done anything.He says the women asks him for a snog says he has a nice ass etc and that he is just a man with needs and he is geting none at home so what is he suppose to do?
Anyway my other half told me this so now what do i do? she has asked me if her boyf has said anything so do i tell her he said he feels like straying? my partner said that he sounded very much like there is a possiblilty of him straying.Having this second child is only going to make things worse isnt it?

Do i tell her or keep sctum? if i tell her it may makes things worse and if i dont they might be able to work it out or he may just go off with someone else.

Sorry its so long and it may not seem such a big deal but shes my mate and i want to know what to do for the best for her and her children.

JustJodi
25-04-2006, 12:00
Chance.. the best thing for you to do is keep quiet, telling her something like that is not going to make things better for her, it is between her and her b/f..Just be there for her when and if things go badly( either they work something out or they don't) What does your B/F think ?? Does he want his sister told ?? Talk to him and ask him if you should tell him what the b/f said about the other women..
This is just my 2 cents worth.. but do keep us posted on what happens, I feel bad for your friend. Men are jerks some times and insensitive and selfish ( putting their NEEDS first and their inflated egos ..hmmfphhh)

Jojo
25-04-2006, 12:12
I wouldn't say anything hun - it would be the last thing she would need to hear in her condition (how unattractive did i feel when i was pregnant - it would make me paranoid and feel 20 times worse if I knew that my chap was being offered it on a plate)

At the moment - he hasn't done anything, as far as you know and if he does stray, in my opinion, he doesn't love her really anyway. If you love someone, whether you are getting it or not, you don't stray. My hubby didn't get it for 6 months (and yep you heard me complaining about it :rotfl: ) but he didn't stray, no matter whether he was tempted or not and that is what love is about. If their partnership breaks down and he blames it on the lack of sex, well then he is being pretty self centred, isn't considering how she feels and like I said before, doesn't truly love her. Thats just me though - but if he does stray, be there for her, make sure she cuts up everything he owns, and kicks him out never to return :D To stray on a partner whilst they are pregnant is a big, huge nono :nono:

Siobhan
25-04-2006, 12:15
Personally I would like to be told if it was me. I just feel that I would be more upset if my friends and brother knew about this and never told me. Her b/f hasn't done anything yet but maybe if she is told they could sort it out. If she is already saying that she wouldn't stay with him for the sake of the kids so she is already considering leaving

Like Jodi said, talk to your boyfriend and ask him what he would do or if he is going to do anything. It will hurt for her to find out the truth but atleast she would know she had friends to support her

chance
26-04-2006, 17:13
My partner feels we shouldnt say anything as she is upset enough already,and is feeling unattractive blah blah atm,thinks we should let them work through it.They have kinda made up now but for how long.Also the other worrying thing is he is now flirting with me.for eg: He text me yesterday to say can we borrow a dvd,i replied with yeah when do you want it? he replied do you mean the dvd or something else!!!! i was like omg!

Now what guys?

Siobhan
26-04-2006, 17:14
My partner feels we shouldnt say anything as she is upset enough already,and is feeling unattractive blah blah atm,thinks we should let them work through it.They have kinda made up now but for how long.Also the other worrying thing is he is now flirting with me.for eg: He text me yesterday to say can we borrow a dvd,i replied with yeah when do you want it? he replied do you mean the dvd or something else!!!! i was like omg!

Now what guys?

tell him.. tell him you know what is going on with him and if he doesn't stop you will tell his girlfriend

JustJodi
26-04-2006, 17:28
My partner feels we shouldnt say anything as she is upset enough already,and is feeling unattractive blah blah atm,thinks we should let them work through it.They have kinda made up now but for how long.Also the other worrying thing is he is now flirting with me.for eg: He text me yesterday to say can we borrow a dvd,i replied with yeah when do you want it? he replied do you mean the dvd or something else!!!! i was like omg!

Now what guys?

Omg the cheek of this guy,:eek: Did you tell your partner what he said ?? If u still have the text show it to him,, that guy has some serious 'I HAVE MY NEEDS" issues,, I wanna slap him now.
I am also with Siobhan as well, to be hurt now than to be hurt later ( like being dumped for another woman just cause the mother of his kids can not give him what he NEEDS AT THE MOMENT) and /or keeping quiet and hoping that things turn out for the best. Do keep us posted Chance.. and please know we are here for you ......JJ

chance
26-04-2006, 20:21
Thanks guys,if i tell my other half he will hit the roof and prob go and smash his head in,I dont want to make things worse,im just hoping that was just a one off cus they had fallen out big style so il think il wait and see for now.

Kim
26-04-2006, 20:55
tell him.. tell him you know what is going on with him and if he doesn't stop you will tell his girlfriend
I would tell aswell, if he did stray it would only make things ten times worse for her in the long run.