Advice

[Luna]

Well where do i start....just really looking for peoples opinion on this one - need someone from the outside of the sutiation.

When i was 11 my dad died two days after i was told that he wasnt my real father and my real dad had heard what had happened and wanted to meet up. I went along met him a few times but i found it hard and decided not to see him anymore because it was too soon after the death of the man i thought was my dad.

Recently as ive been getting older i started to get curious about him. me and friend decided to go and see if he lived at the same house and he did (saw him coming out).

Anyway last night i decided i was going to do it drove over and sat outside for a while could see there where vistors so didnt want to go in then. Just as i was driving out a girl came out of the house and called him dad.

This girl is my trainer in work i have no idea if she already know who i am or not.

but what i want to ask is - is she my way in? should i tell her who i am? or would it be better just to leave it until i get the courage up again to just go to his door? Or should i just wright a letter or something?

Your opinions would be a lot of help

[shannisrules]

awww bless luna lol, sounds like a sticky situation you should do whatever feels best to do and you shouldnt rush into things, if you really want to get in contact with your dad again maybe you should try by talking to the girl not making it obvious incase she doesnt know you. or maybe you should write a letter to him first explain your feelings and then maybe meet up with him if things go well do what you think sounds the right thing to do. hope this helps and hope evrything goes well nicole xxx

[Chloe O'brien]

Luna I can't begin to understand how you are feeling right now, but if I was you I would write him a letter explaining everything that you have told us. Then leave him a contact number on the letter for him to phone you. I wouldn't tell this other girl who you are just yet as she may not know anything about you and it would not be fair on her. If he does not reply then its his loss not yours. Just remember you were only a child when all this came out so no one can blame you for being confused.

[pops110874]

I think a letter directly to your dad is the best option. Its between you and him, regardless of any other "daughters". A letter is the easiest way to let him know you are ready to get to know him. He will tell you in time about his current family.

[Luna]

thanks everyone for your advice

[Luna]

well this has taken a little twist

the girl now knows who i am - she brought in her wedding photos and obviously he was in them. i didnt say anything just looked on.

about half an hour later she came up and said she knows who i am because of a picture he has of me from the last time we met up. and then she walked away hasnt said a word to me since. although she hs been smiling at me - dont know if she has mentioned it to him.

I told my mum about the wedding pictures and stuff and her reply was to stay well clear (they dont get on) she donest know anythin about me going looking for him. I thought the story about the wedding pics was the best way to put it forward to her.

I dont know what to do now if i contact him mum wont be too pleased and i dont really want to hurt my step dad but i just cant help feeling that im missing out on something.

[Em]

I think you should contact him luna. he obviously cares for you to have told his new family and still have your photo.

your mom will understand. sheloves you and will want whats best for you. she mightbe hurt, but she will come round.

you owe it to yourself to meet with him if you want too, if your non-biological fathers death has taught you anything it should be that life is short.

my family had a similar thing, my grandad was married before my gran and had a son who lived in england. when my aunt contacted him on my grandads death my gran was upset, but understood.