when you have to let go

[hunterz_girl]

hey all!

i thought i might post my fanfic on here, its currently posted on ff.net (fanfiction.net) pen name on there nixon-angels. i'd love any feedback and ideas! well here goes.

love maz! xx

chapter one
sharing the pain

DS Samantha Nixon’s daughter is still missing, frantic with worry sams on the verge of a nervous breakdown, the case is falling apart and looks like its going nowhere, until she receives a tape. Can Sam and Phil persuade DI Manson to take the case more seriously? And can Sam take Phil seriously when he tells her his real feeling towards her?

She looked around the large office and sighed, Sam liked to come in early, it gave her something to think about besides Abi, Her colleagues came In one by one to start at work, she knew what they thought about abi, they thought that she had ‘faked’ her own death to get back at her, some people like DI Manson for instance. Even though she tried hard to concentrate on her work she just couldn’t, she wanted to be out there looking for abi why wouldn’t anyone believe her?

“Sam, you have a parcel”

Came the voice of Phil hunter, he gestured to his position and looked down on her and passed her the parcel,

‘Thanks Phil’ she popped the parcel on her desk,

‘Well? Are you going to open it? Phil answered

She looked at the parcel and half heartedly opened it, she looked at the contents and let out a gasp

‘What is it Sam?’ putting a hand on her shoulder

‘Its...it’s a tape’ she wanted to run, she had a feeling that this was something to do with abi, ‘I’ve got to go’ she promptly stood up and walked out of CID bumping into DI Manson, followed by Phil

‘Phil what’s wrong with DS Samantha Nixon?’

‘I don’t know guv I’ll go find out’ he ran to find Sam, he saw her getting into her car

‘SAM!’ wait’ Sam turned round to see Phil running towards her, ‘what Phil?’

‘Where you going?’ he gasped ‘to find out what’s on this tape.

‘Then let me come with you’ giving her his all too famous puppy-dog look

Oh... Fine come on! Both Sam and Phil clambered into her car and drove of.

From his window Neil Manson was watching as Phil and Sam drove of together. He picked up the phone and called jack, ‘

hello its Neil,’ I think Samantha needs to take some time of work, she’s just left holding a tape and has drove of with Phil hunter.’

‘Yes well, I think you can understand that she will be in a bit of a state her daughters missing if you haven’t forgotten?’

Yes sorry guv. With that he put the phone down

‘Oh... Yes sure how can we forget, seeing sams face everyday as a constant reminder, then her pleas saying she’s been abducted!’

Back at Sams house, Sam had taken the tape and put it in the machine, longing this to finally help her find abi, longing for this to help ease her pain, at first she sat there she couldn’t watch it, what if it wasn’t anything to do with abi, what if it was just her being paranoid, obsessed that she couldn’t live the rest of her life?

‘Phil?’

‘Yes Sam? He walked in and saw her sitting in front on the television, the screen was blank ‘what’s wrong isn’t it working? He smiled

‘I can’t do this alone,’

“I’m here, and I’m never ever going to leave you Sam not ever.” you were there when I needed help, and now it’s my turn to be your guardian angel,’

Sam smiled ‘thanks Phil’

As they she sat there waiting, waiting to here those words I’m ok mum, she thought back to all the arguments and the fights, the times where she was never there for abi, the times where she should have been.

Then instead of the words ‘I’m ok’ she heard the words, ‘this is your fault, you were never there for me and now I have taken what you cared for most, my life’

the tears that she had been holding back the past few days just came flooding out, she had for once in her life let her emotions go, she had for once let her emotions take over, she was puzzled at why abi would do such a thing, was she really the terrible mum that abi had told her she was? At this and even more puzzled when she saw Phil’s arms around her comforting her. Through stubborn will or not, she was going tell him.

He couldn’t help but look over at her, imagining what would happen, if he were to suddenly lean over and kiss her. ‘Now she would definitely not be prepared for that,’ he thought to himself, suddenly ashamed at the idea. But, yet he couldn’t deny the fact that he was head over heels, hopelessly in love with her. Her. The most beautiful woman in the world.

He didn’t even know if she felt the same way. He also didn’t know why she put up with with him for so long, considering that he had caused her so much more pain than one human being could bear.

She looked over at him he could see her pain, he too like Sam had his daughter abducted he knew what it was like, pained as he was he longed to be able to ease the pain away, by her telling him three simple words, ‘I love you.’ But his stubborn and strong-willed mind would never let her know how much she meant to her. How much he loved her and longed to be with her from the moment he first met her. To him, she was the most gorgeous woman alive. He realized then, that their partnership, friendship, companionship, ah hell, call it what you want, was the longest relationship he’d had ever and longed for.

please read and review!!!! will post all the chapters ive done so far :)

[hunterz_girl]

chapter two

hugh knows?

Phil stopped writing and looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall opposite his bed. It was just turned 1am; He could never sleep when he had an idea. He’d been thinking with an idea for a song so had to get it on paper before he forgot. He began scanning back over the words and lines that filled the page in his notebook.

“Hiding my love from you is all I can do,

Keeping it a secret the only way through,

The days I spend beside you,

The nights all alone,

Longing and hoping that you’ll give my heart a home.”

Phil sighed.

‘Why don’t you just tell her instead of writing, keeping your emotions away from her?’

He thought to himself as he put the pen and notebook closed on the bedside table and switched off the light. He lay down in the darkened room and tried to clear his mind and get some sleep; easier said than done. All Phil could do was think. His mind was working overtime as it did most nights recently. He thought about the women he loved and needed, thought about times they spent together, The woman he loved was heartbroken her whole world torn apart, he couldn’t just come out and tell her, it was a case of Love versus rejection.

‘I gotta deal with this one way or the other.’

Phil thought as he drifted into a restless sleep.

The alarm clock rung. 5 am Sam got out of bed, she couldn’t sleep, she was just hoping that now Manson would take her more seriously, especially now that she had phils backing. Sam arrived at the station, expecting no-one to see her, but she was greeted by Phil and Hugh Wallis.

‘Hugh? What u doing here?’

‘I had a call from, Neil Manson, saying that I was needed to help find a missing teenager, abi Nixon, why didn’t you tell me?

‘Ive got Phil; he’s really been helping me, any way I didn’t want to bother you.’

‘I thought we could tell each other everything Sam? Well in here now and Phil?

‘Yeh Hugh?

‘You’re no longer needed on the case

WHAT? I’m sta....

I said you’re not needed.

Fine! Sam?

Sam just looked at Phil then at Hugh, sorry.

“I’m going to get a drink ...

“Want some company?”

“No your ok, you will need to talk about your case ... I’ll be alright. I’ll be up in a bit.”

“Ok, im really sorry”

“Yeh well, Hugh wants you all to himself don’t he!”

“How dare you, my daughters missing I need all the help I can get, and If Hugh thinks your not good enough then your not. I don’t even no why I wasted my time with you!”

“Sam im...sorry”

Hugh pulled Sam away, and smirked at Phil, he gave him a look as though to say ‘she’s mine!’

Phil just stood as he watched Sam and Hugh walk up stairs.

“Hey Phil” Phil turned round to see Debbie

“What Debbie?”

“Hey what’s wrong?”

“It’s him”

“Who Hugh,”

“Yes, he just turns up spoils everything, why now? He’s up to something I no it!”

“Ok Phil, whatever, your just being to over protective, any way since when did you care about Sam?”

“I don’t, I mean oh shut up Debbie I don’t care about her, if she don’t need me then that’s fine, he can have her I don’t care,”

He walked up to CID thinking, did he really care, no I don’t, she doesn’t need me...but I need her.

“Where’s Sam?

“She went somewhere with Hugh, she’ll be back soon”

“Ok, thanks”

He walked up to his desk; he decided that he would tell her, what did he have to lose?

As he sat there he looked over at Sams desk there was a letter for high, he quickly grabbed it and rushed out of the office he quickly went into a vacant room. Ripped the letter open and read it

Hugh,

We need to get this moving, I thought you said that you would be ready; it’s all ready been 3 days, I don’t know how long we can keep this up, if you don’t hurry up then that’s it, call me.

“What? 3 days.”

Then the most horrifying thought went through his head.

“Hughes got abi”

[Tannie]

That is really good. you're really good at this.

[hunterz_girl]

phil ran as fast as he could to his car he tried sams phone but there was no answer he drove as fast as he could to sams

‘ come on ‘ he shouted at a driver in front of him

‘ since when has the traffic been this bad’

he had been in a traffic jam for 20 minutes now as was starting to get really annoyed , he thought he would tries sams phone again

‘damn voice mail’

“I don’t even no why I wasted my time with you!” sams words were ringin in his ear, she didnt really mean that did she? what of he had been wasting his time? he had no idea if she felt the same way

‘hi sam its phil when you get this message ring me, i think we need to talk’ he sighed

after alot of shouting phil had finally managed to get out of the traffic que and was heading down sams street he noticed that the weather had now changed there was now a dull grey sky and looked as if might rain, ‘ looks miserable’ he thought ‘ just how i feel’

as he drove into sams drive he was greeted by hugh

‘ Hugh wheres sam’

‘ she had to go, i was just here picking some clothes up for her shes stayin with me for a while’ he walked nearer to phil ‘ we thought it was for the best’ he smirked

‘ i know what your up to’ phil shouted moving towards hugh so he was centemetres from his face ‘ i wont let you get away with it’ phil gritted his teeth

hugh just smiled ‘ and your going to stop me are you?

he walked back to his car and drove off,

phil just watched as the man who could take sam away from him walked off, there was nothing he could do, he had no evidence only a letter, and that was no real evidence.

Hiding my love from you is all I can do,

Keeping it a secret the only way through,

The days I spend beside you,

The nights all alone,

Longing and hoping that you’ll give my heart a home.”

those words kept floodin his mind he had to do something

‘ i’ll get you for this phil ‘, he laughed ‘ poor old precious sam eh?’

hugh got out his mobile

‘weve got a bit of a problem’ the over voice on the end of the phone answered and hugh laughed

‘you know what you need to do, i’ll drop the clothes round now’

phil was driving slowly in the rain there was nothing he could do, hugh was right who was going stop him?

phil let out a sigh it had been a long day he was yet again stuck in the traffic, he decided to put the radio on and see what the problem was,


And I still hold your hand in mine.

In mine when I'm asleep.

And I will bear my soul in time,

When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.


phil sat there and waited it was all he could do, and he had got quite good at waiting, waiting for the right moment to tell sam he loved her, he really did love her but he was scared of loving her, loving her too much and hurtin her. all he wanted to do was curl up and cry. just then his phone went off.

‘ hello phil hunt.. sam?’

‘ phil can you get back here right now, there saying that abi might be dead’ he could hear sam crying

‘ i’ll get there as soon as i can’

[hunterz_girl]

feeling safe

phil rushed towards the tiny blond , the old sam nixon was no longer there, instead there was a more needing ‘weak’ women standing there. tears were running down her soft skin, the colour from her face had drained, instead it was pale, grey , and ill looking.

‘sam are you ok?’

sam fell into his arms and weeped

‘there saying shes dead, she cant be’ phil pulled sam in closer and kissed the top of her head

‘do you think shes dead, do you really think she has gone?

sam pulled away so that she was now facing phil she looked into his eyes she had never noticed how nice they were, his brown eyes were gleaming looking straight into hers for a moment the pain that she had been feeling the past couple of days suddenly disappeared, she felt safe , like no-one could hurt her.

‘ no, she cant be dead’

she tried to stop her self from crying anymore but she couldnt , she put her head back onto phil and just let him be there for her, did she love him?

I'm scared
So afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak
If I tremble when I speak
Oooh - what if
There's another one he's thinking of
Maybe he's in love
I'd feel like a fool
Life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do

she quickly pulled away and wiped her eyes

‘ sorry, i shouldnt be like this abi needs me to be strong’ sam looked out to where the washed up limp, cold body was

‘ its not her sam, not if you dont think it is, and you cant help but be like you are your only human, they cant help how they feel’ he stood in front of sam and pulled away the hair which and fallen onto her face ‘ and im always going to be here to look after you, let me be strong for you’ he leaned into kiss her

‘sam... are you ok? ive just heard about abi’ sam quickly moved away from phil and turned to hugh

‘ its not her’ sam replied and faced towards phil

I love him
Of that much I can be sure
I don't think I could endure
If I let him walk away
When I have so much to say

hugh placed his hand on sams arm ‘ come on lets get you home youve been through enough today’

‘ maybe your right ‘ sam sighed puttin her head into her hand

as sam started to walk off phil knew he had to say something now he quickly followed them and he finally caught up

‘ sam i need to tell you something’

hugh shut the car door

‘im sure it can wait ‘ he hissed

‘im not sure it can’ phil opened the car door’ sam .. i... i love you’

[hunterz_girl]

sam, i love’ phil repeated the words that had been spoke in his heart for too long,

‘ phil... i..’ she sighed ‘ i have to go’ she croaked, trying not to cry, she loved him, how could she say she could, maybe it was just in all her pain and confusion over abi, her emotions where not stable what if she was wrong, she slowly closed the car door and opened the window slighty, she looked at phil , she could see his pain.

‘ before you leave, take this’ he put his hand into his pocket and produced a scruffy letter, ‘ read this when you want, when you feel like you need someone and just tell me what you feel, i need to know.

he turned away and a tear trickled down his face he turned to look at sam once again, she caught his eye and turned slowly away she couldnt bear to see his upset. she mouthed to words ‘sorry’ and closed the window.

phil just stood there as hugh and sam drove off, he walked back to his car and just sat there, it was had started to rain again and the sky had turned , dark and grey. he decided he needed to get home.

the journey back to hughs was a quiet one, the music was playin softly in the background and sam watched as the rain trickled down the window, she rembered when she was a child, she use to sit and watch the rain on the windows and look at the different patterns that used to appear. she sighed

‘ hey, its ok phil will get over his little outburst, we all know what hes like’ he smirked

sam just forced out a little smile, she was still holding the letter that phil had produced, she was flicking at the corners, not daring to open it up

‘ you aren’t gonna read that are you? i mean you aren’t taking him seriously are you? hugh looked down at the letter

sam was in deep thought, in a world of her own, she slowly opened it...

Have I ever told you
that if I sit really still and silent,
sometimes. I like to think
I can hear your heart beating
in time with mine?

Have I ever told you
that when I watch you speak to me
through lines and cords,
and bytes and ram,
I imagine
your voice,
whispering into my ear?

Have I ever told you
that I wait out each day
in anticipation,
wanting
only an hour or two,
just a second in space and time,
to feel close to you?

Have I ever told you
that there has been times,
when I ached for you,
ached for you so badly,
that the emotions overwhelmed me..
and so I sat and cried?

Have I ever told you
that sometimes,
I will reach out,
touching your name
on this cold screen before me,
wishing
I could reach in
and pull you to me?

Have I ever told you
that after the first time I heard
the sound of your voice,
thousands of miles away,
I sat up all night,
turning the conversation over and over
in my mind,
examining it,
like some newly discovered species of flower?

Have I ever told you
that I would give everything up,
just for one night
to be able to lay near you,
to feel your chest rise and fall
with each breath you take,
just to know that you are real?

Have I ever told you
that I dream of you often,
I dream of you reaching out
and touching my hand,
simply to let me know
that you are there,
and everything is okay?

Have I ever told you,
have I still yet to tell you . . .
that I love you?

sam read his letter slowly, she never knew phil could be so... sweet, she smiled at the thought of phil being sweet, sensitive, she imagined herself being with him forever, what would it be like with phil? what would it be like to be phils samantha nixon... samantha hunter... she let out a little chuckle... she suddenly snapped back into reality, she relised the car had stopped her car door was opening but she wasnt outside hughs house, it was dark and cold, it smelt damp. and then she felt someone grab her, someone draggin her out of the car she looked up...

‘ hugh!’ she gasped

‘ love him dont you! he shouted ‘ after everything ive done for you!’ he hit her hard so she fell to the floor ‘ you need to learn a few lessons, samantha nixon.

[hunterz_girl]

what do you mean?’ she screamed ‘ what has it got to do with you?’

she quickly tried to get up but hugh grabbed her by the hair and pulled her over to the car pushing her against it, he quickly checked her pockets to find her hand cuffs and placed them on her pushing her back to the floor, sam let out a yelp, she shuddered as he lent down and stroked her face

‘ dear old samantha nixon, never had you down as the niave type’ he laughed ‘ you turned me down all those years ago, i thought you might just need some time... so i come back , and what do i find ‘ he grabbed hold of sams face ‘ phil hunter making puppy dog eyes at you! stupid little letters telling you how much he ‘loves’ you’ he hissed

‘ hugh... look maybe w..we could talk about all this, i...’

‘scared are we sam?’ he stood up ‘ abi really looks like you when your scared, she was stupid enough to think that we could talk about it too ...’

‘ YOU! you took abi! ‘ she screamed ‘ if youve hurt her i’ll murder you’ sam attempted to get back up again , but fell back onto the hard, cold floor, she was so mad at him, why would he do such a thing.

‘ you need help’ she hissed ‘ wheres abi, hugh just stood and laughed at her ‘ ‘

‘WHERE IS ABI! she sobbed

‘ we’l finish this conversation later’ he bent down and lifted sam up, he blindfolded her and walked her into another room, the floor was wet, and the room was cold there was the sound of water rushing near by, sam stepped slowly into the room knowing there was nothing she could do, she wished phil was here, she hoped abi was near by as long as abi was ok... she felt hugh undo the handuffs and sit her down on a chair, he violently tied her arms to he chair she felt the wet , thick rope cut deep into her wrists , she shivered slightly...

‘ hugh where are you going ‘ she sobbed ‘ he put some tape over her mouth

‘ dont worry i’ll be back to see you later’ he smiled, stroking her face ‘then it will be just you and me’

hugh quickly drove to sunhill station, got out the car and into the front office

‘ i need to speak to the super’

‘ ok, would you like to take a seat , i’ll see if hes free’

hugh caught sight of phil

‘i need to talk to him NOW! samantha nixon has gone missing!’

phil quickly ran over to see hugh

‘ what? when did she go missing?’ he looked worried

‘ i dont think i should be telling you, i need to see the super’ hugh walked away and went to sit down, phil grabbed his arm and pulled him back

‘ dont think i dont know what your up to! ‘ phil whispered

‘im sure i have no idea what you are on about’ hugh pulled his arm away looking over at the front office desk

‘ the super is ready to see you now’

phil waited in CID he had to do something, the women he loved was missing he knew that hugh had to be behind it, should he tell the super what he had found written in that letter? or should he just wait? there had to be a search , a case something he couldn’t jeperdise his chance of being on it. finally jack came into CID...

‘ ok, quiet please, hugh wallis has come in .. DS samantha nixon is missing, we need to take this seriously as her daughter is also missing as you know, there will be a search and a door to door asking people if they have seen her’ jack walked over to phils desk ‘ phil a word in my office’

phil followed jsck into his office and sat down

‘ what is it gov?

‘ its hugh.. theres just something i dont trust about him... i know you and sam are , well close... is there anything you woud like to tell me?

phil sighed and reached into his pocket

‘well there was this...

[hunterz_girl]

why didnt you tell someone when you first found it?’ phil knew he would go off on one, thats the main reason he didnt say anything and he also did it for sam he couldnt jeperdise her saftey by saying anything.

‘ i wasnt sure if it was anything, and i didnt want to say anything to sam, i wasnt sure if she would believe me’ he sighed ‘ i know ive messed up’ phils thoughts wandered of to sam, she was somewhere alone and frightened and all because he was so stupid.

‘ you haven’t messed up, not at all’ jack stood up and looked out the window and watched as hugh got into his car ‘ at least we have something to go on’ he turned to look at phil ‘ this conversation is between you and me phil, no-one else must know... if hugh found out what we are up to god knows what he would do to sam’

hugh drove back to the deserted warehouse and walked back in to find sam sobbing

‘ what are you crying about? its going to be ok... i’ll look after you now’ he took the gag and blindfold of sam and moved to sit towards her

‘ i want to see abi’ her eyes were red and she blinked at the light ‘ please i need to know shes safe, let her go youve got me now please’ a tear ran down her face ‘ please’ she whispered

hugh sighed and ran he hand down his face ‘ you would seriously take her place?’ he looked as sams face, he could see her pain ‘ ok, she can go but if she says anything i will kill her, i’ll take her somewhere far away from here and when were together she can come back, we can be a family’ hugh walked off into another room, she could hear muffled voices and watched as abi came running and threw her arms round her

‘ mum... i..im so sorry ‘ abi sobbed hugging sam harder

‘ its ok, its not your fault ‘ sam kissed abi on her head ‘ everythings going to be alright now’ sam lowered her voice and whispered ‘ take my phone its in my pocket, ring phil let him know where you are, tell him.. tell him im ok’

abi looked confused but did as sam said she took the phone from her pocket hiding what she was doing from hugh.

‘ come on’ hugh grabbed abis arm

‘mum!’ abi tried to pull herslef from hugh

‘ its ok ‘ sam whiseperd ‘ you can go, i’ll be ok me and hugh will sort things ok?’

‘NO!’ abi screamed punching hugh, making him falling over , abi ran as fast as she could and out of the dark , cold room she kept on running until she was outside she kept running the floor was wet and slippy and she fell she could hear hugh shouting, she had never felt so scared she got back up and kept running she didnt stop until she knew he couldnt find her , her whole body was shaking , what was he going to do to her mum? she quickly got the phone out and called phil

‘ come on answer ‘ she screamed

phil was still at the station he had just finished his ‘conversation with the DCI when he heard his phone ring, he saw sams number flashing on his phone, his heart skipped a beat, quickly he answerd

‘sam! where ...’

‘ its m..me its abi, hughs got mum!’ she cried

[hunterz_girl]

abi stay where you are, i’ll come and find you, is oyur mum ok?’

‘ she said to tell you she was,... bu...but i heard him shouting, ive made things worse’ abi contiued to cry

‘ look abi im coming now, just stay on the phone ok?’

phil left as fast as he could following abis directions to where she was

‘ you planned this!’ hugh bellowed his face was inches away from sams

‘ no, i wanted to sort this out .. for us to talk, thats what you want isnt it?’ sam was trying to keep hugh calm she knew abi would of phoned phil by now, he would come and save her, at least she hoped.

‘ talk? you want to talk now do you! ‘ hugh was shouting in sams face ‘ she’ll go running to that phil of yours now, he’ll be your knight in shining armour, saving the damsel in distress!’

‘at least he cares about me!’ sam screamed back into his face, she knew she had just made things alot worse, hugh just stood up and smiled

‘i’ll show you caring’ he untied sam and dragged her off the chair, her legs weren’t stable and she lost balanced and slipt banging her head, hugh just dragged her to her feet

‘ we’ll both die together, you and me ... how romantic’ he pushed sam to the floor

‘what are you doing’ she screamed, she wished phil would just come bursting through the doors right now, she looked over to the door... nothing. she knew she had to do something, she couldnt die not now... not when she hasnt told phil... she loved him... yes that right i love him, sam kicked out at hugh slightly knocking him back it was enough though for her to get back up she ran towards the door, everywhere was so dark it didnt help that she was ‘running for her life’ the shouts from hugh were getting louder she had to hide...

‘ sam, just come out... look im sorry i was just angry... im ok now... SAM! dont hide theres no use i know this place like the back of my hand!’

she could here footsteps, they were getting closer... getting louder...when all of a sudden she felt someone grab her from behind...

[hunterz_girl]

sorry to post so much but this is how the chapters were wrote! :thumbsup: enjoy!


sam tried to move but she was being dragged into another room , she tried to scream but there was a hand placed firmly over her mouth

‘ sam please..’

sam stopped dead in her tracks the grip was become less forcefull she could manage to move round...

‘ phil!’ she fell into his arms, she had never been so pleased to see him before

‘its ok’ he stroked her hair ‘ he’s not gonna get you now’

he moved away slightley moving his hand so that he was holding sams face , moving his face closer to hers , sam could feel phils warm breath on her face , she felt safe in his arms the whole world seemed to stop when she was with him.. no-one could hurt her now, finally phils lips met with sams , kissing her softly at first then both of their tongues exploring each others mouths, he had been waiting so long for this kiss... with the women he loved. sams head was buzzing, her whole body tingling, it was amazing.. this kiss was amazing...phil pulled away slightly out of breath, their eyes were still fixed in each other. phil just smiled , and sam snapped back into reality

‘ as much as i loved that, we really do need to get moving’ phil put his hand out and sam happily accepted, they walked slowly out of the room, it still seemed really dark, but not as frightening maybe beacuse sam had finally got her ‘knight in shining armour’ her phil hunter.

‘ awww isn’t that sweet... its your hero’ hugh smirked

phil moved forward , he was standing in front of sam

‘ your never gonna hurt her again!’

‘and whys that, beacuse you love her! have you asked if she feels the same?’ hughs eyes were now fixed on sams ‘ see thats what she does, leads you on makes you feel things you never felt before... then leaves you... she needs to be taught that you cant do that’ he hissed trying to move closer to sam but phil stood firmly infront of her

sam moved forward, holding phils arm

‘yes i love him! you never had ‘feelings’ for me you were just obsessed!’

‘ i love you sam... why cant you see that!’

‘ YOUR JUST SICK!’

hugh pulled something from out of his pocket... it was a gun he pointed it at phils head...

‘dont ever say that you dont love me again!’ he shouted ‘ or lover boy gets it’

[hunterz_girl]

short chapter sorry folks!

hugh this is stupid! just put it down’ sams hand was trembling ‘ give me the gun’

‘ stupid? its not stupid... love’ hugh paused ‘ you need to know how it feels to loose someone you love and know that you will never see them again’

‘ hugh... please dont do anything stupid, you just need help’

‘ i dont need help... i need you’

‘ i will help you, sam moved forward ‘ come on hugh, give this up now, you can get through this’ sam was now facing hugh ‘come on’

hugh sneered and pushed sam to the floor

‘your just a slut! you always have been and always will be!

phil lunged himself forward at hugh , grabbing hold of hugh arm and moving the gun away from himslef, suddenly there was a gun shot... there was a another... and then a scream...

‘ phil...’

two bodies fell to the floor, blood pouring out, footsteps were coming closer, voices were becoming louder...

‘ PHIL ‘ sam collapsed on the floor holding phil in her arms‘ please dont die’

neil manson and jack medows appeared followed by SO19 and abi..

jack was holding sam back ‘ its ok , he will be ok, were gonna look after him

‘someone get the paramedics in here now’ neil shouted ‘ is he dead?’ neil looked over to the limp body of hughs

‘ i hope so ‘ sam hissed, tears streaming down her face ‘its gonna be ok baby i wont let you die’

[hunterz_girl]

sam slowly walked down the corrider and headed towards abis cubicle, she pulled back the curtain, abi was asleep, sam started to cry, she was so happy that abi was safe again, she walked quietly in and sat down next to abi and watched her as she slept. after about 20 minutes abi woke up her eyes fluttering open and closed

‘ abi?’

‘mum’ abi sobbed ‘ im sorry’

‘its ok’ sam stroked her face ‘ no-one is going to hurt you again’

‘is..is he dead?’

‘ no, but he is going away for a long time, there is no way he will ever hurt you again’

‘ how is phil?’ abi tried to sit up

‘ shhh its ok , just stay still you need to rest’ sam sighed ‘ phils still in theatre, but hes going to be ok’ a tear rolled down sams face

‘why arent you waiting for him?’

‘ i needed to know that you were ok, your more important abi.’

‘ im fine’ abi smiled ‘ im tired, like you said i should rest, go and see phil’ abi yawned ‘ im not going any where’

‘ are you sure you dont mind? im mean phil would understand’ sam stood up

‘ hmm’ abi nodded ‘ really, just go’ she laughed

sam smiled and kissed abi on the head ‘ i love you abi’ she quickly walked down the corrider and went to the reception

‘ hi , i just wanted to know if phil hunter is out of theatre yet?’

‘one moment i’ll just check for you’

sam waited for a while until the a nurse appeared

‘ hi, mrs hunter?’

‘ umm...im..not... i mean yes?’

‘mr hunter is fine, hes a bit drowsy from the operation but if you would like to go in thats fine, i’ll take you to him now’

‘thanks’ sam smiled and followed the nurse

‘ hello mr hunter, your wife is here to see you’

‘my wife?’ phil looked confused

the nurse left and sam walked in

‘oh, my wife’ he grinned

sam went red ‘ she just though...

‘ it dosen’t matter ‘ he laughed’ well dont i get a kiss? he smiled

sam walked over and sat on phils bed, phil put his hand on her face and lent in for a kiss , their lips meeting once again ...

‘ oh sorry’

sam quickly jumped off the bed... it was jack

‘ guv’ sam said sheepishly

jack just laughed ‘ like a pair of teenagers you two, you really thought that i didnt know there was something going on?’

phil just looked over to sam , and laughed

‘ well you would of found out sooner or later i suppose’

‘ look i’ll come back later , leave you two to get back to where you were’ he chuckled to himself and walked off

sam bit her lip and looked at phil

‘ you dont think he’ll say anything do you?

‘ nah, he wont... anyway where were we? he grinned

[hunterz_girl]

‘so mrs hunter, what now?’ phil grinned sam still laid there resting her head on phils shoulder

‘ hmmm?’ sam opened her eyes and looked up at phil ‘ i best go check on abi’ sam sat up and let a long yawn

‘ and then promise me you will get some rest? you’ve been through as much as any of us today, ok?

‘i promise’ sam kissed phil and left to check on abi she walked back in to abis cubicle only to find abi not there , sams heart skipped a beat she quickly looked round trying to find her

‘mum?’ abi was standing beside sam

‘god dont do that’ sam flung her arms around abi, nearly squeezing her to death

‘ im sorry’ abi laughed ‘ i only went to get some magazines ‘ and the nurse said i could go... and i didnt want to...interupt you and phil’

sam felt her self going slightly red again ‘ ok cheeky, i’ll take you home now if you want?

‘ yeah please mum...what about phil? will he be staying with us?

‘ your pushing your luck madam ‘ sam laughed and put her arm around abi ‘ come on i’ll take you home now, and no phil wont be out until tommorow’

sam and abi left walking slowly down the corrider , there was alot of catching up to do and alot to talk about.

next week at the station

‘ sam!’ sam heard neil hiss and turned around to see him marching over to her desk

nice to see you too guv! sam thought to herself

‘yes guv?’

‘ i wasnt expecting to see you back so soon, i thought you were resting? his voice full of sarcasm

nice to know you care she thought to herself

‘ well i couldnt stay at home any longer, i was going out my mind, and anyway i know that your really busy and could do with an extra pair of hands ‘ sam smiled know thats sarcasm she thought

‘ when, and if i needed your help DS nixon i would of asked for it, i can not have any of my officers acting unprofessionally because they are not fit enough to be back at work’

‘ guv ‘ sam coughed to clear her throat ‘ when i feel ready to come back to work i will, and i feel that i am fit enough for work, I’m just trying to act professionally and not take any more time of work than i need too, if you feel in any way that i am not acting professional then please tell me so, other wise let me get on with my work’

by this time everyone was watching the whole room had become quiet and all eyes fixed upon sam and neil

‘ i do not wish to be spoken like that DS nixon, if you could find the time in your hectic day what with your commitment to your work i would like a word in my office’ he smirked ‘ and i would like an apolgy... now!

‘ sorry’ sam rolled her eyes, great she thought what a great first day back

‘ sorry ... what?’ neil glared

‘ sorry DI neil manson’

‘thankyou, and could you pop into my office later, i also need to take your satement about what really happened with hugh wallis’ neil quickly walked off to his office

phil came walking over and knelt by her desk

‘ whats wrong babe?’ he whispered

‘ hes so full of himself’ he hissed

‘ i know, and he deserved everyword of that, you know i think i might like it when you get angry ‘ he grinned

sam smiled to herself

‘but then again i like you however you are, especially when your with me’ his face nearer to sams

sam quickly looked up

‘ meet me in the interview room’ she smiled

back in neils office, neil was on the phone

‘ hugh... is that you? i think i might be interested in your little proposition now’ he smirked

[hunterz_girl]

sam... sam look we really ...must...best be getting back’ phil managed to get out between kisses

‘ hmmm’ sam smiled, looked up to phil and bit her lip ‘ do we?’ she leant in so her face was centimetres from phils, he could smell the sweet scent of her hair, her amazing eyes were glimmering ‘ i could think of another thing to do’ she giggled

‘ yes.. well’ phil laughed ‘ how about you come round mine after work, for um ... dinner’ he whispered into her ear

sam bit her lip and moved away from phil ‘ its not that i dont want to, its just abi, i dont know if she will be ok by her self’

‘ sam, im sure she will be fine look ‘ phil moved closer to sam ‘ im sure your going to have to leave her on her own soon enough... and well um...i was going to ask if you and abi want to spend christmas with me? bad moment to ask? ‘

‘ no...’

‘ what no? phil stood back, looking shocked

sam smiled ‘ no its not a bad moment to ask ‘ she laughed kissing phil ‘ and your right abi will be fine by herself, probaly would enjoy some time on her own... and i could do with a decent meal’ sam wrapped her arms around phils neck and slowly kissed him, moving her hands down towards him waist

‘ you shouldnt kiss me like that... im starting to wish this shift would end now’ he kissed her tenderly moving down her neck

‘ exsuse me philip!’ she laughed ‘ i think you can wait until later cant you?’ sam unwrapped her arms from phil and walked over to the door

‘i cant’ phil grabbed hold of sams arm and kissed her affectionately , pushing her against the door ‘ so... what you gonna do now miss nixon?’

‘anyone seen phil or samantha? ‘ neil walked back into CID

‘ no guv, sam went out and phil left about five minutes after’ jo answered

‘so how long have they been gone?’

‘ about an hour ago’ gary quickly added before jo could say a word

‘ right’ neil marched off jo quickly following, jo had some idea where the two off them could be with the way they had been acting, she quickly darted off to the interview room and knocked on the door

‘ sam... phil you in there? jo sighed

‘ um... one minute’ sam giggled jo could here them rushing about, phil rushed over to the door

‘ sorry about that jo... um sam was upset so i was...

‘ cheering her up?’ jo looked over to sam and raised her eyebrow ‘ look what ever you were doing i’d stop, the DI is on the war path id get back to CID if i was you’ jo started to walk off ‘ oh and dont make it so obvious that you two... are an ... um item’ jo laughed

‘ phil , my office now!’

phil looked over to sam and rolled his eyes ‘ right guv’

‘ close the door , sit!’

‘ yes sir, no sir ,three bags full sir’ he muttered

‘ i know what you and sam are up to’ neil smirked

‘and so wha...’

‘ and i’d keep an eye on her if i was you’

‘ are you threating me?’

‘ no phil, im just saying you should keep an eye on sam, you never know whos around the corner these days’

phil stood up ‘ if you hurt a single hair on her head, i will kill you!’

‘ oh dont worry i wont hurt her’ he laughed ‘ now get out!’

back at phils

‘ what happened in neils office?

‘ oh nothing... he...’ phil looked at sam he couldnt lie ‘ he threatend you

[hunterz_girl]

Hey you” phil whispered shaking sam slightly

‘ what time is it?’ sam yawned stretching her arms and wrapping them around phil

‘ 4.30’ he said kissing her

‘ w..what’ sam had to force her eyes to stay open ‘ why did you wake me up now?’ sam put the pillow over head ‘ go away ‘ she laughed

‘ come here, and you will see’ phil clambered out of bed and walked over to sam ‘ come on lazy, before it stops’ he pulled at sams hand

‘ ok, ok im getting up’ sam staggered out of bed , yawning ‘ what’ she said sulkingly

‘ look ‘ phil led her over to the window

‘ its snowing? thats what you wanted to show me!’ sam crossed her arms

‘ no , look’ phil put his arm around sam and pointed towards the ground where the words ‘i love you’ were written in the snow

‘ phil... tha... that is so sweet’ sam kissed him ‘ but i cant belive you were stupid enough to get up at this time of the morning and write that in the snow!’

phil sulked ‘ i thought you might like it’

‘ you may be stupid... but... i love you, stupid or not’

phil grinned ‘ good, because i love you too, lazy or not’ he kissed her ‘ now that were up... do you want a shower’

sam lent forward and whispered in his ear ‘ beat you there’

7.00 at sunhill

‘ phil, what you said about manson yesterday’ phil cut her off

‘ i’ll sort it, just promise you wont do anything’ he looked at her

‘ ok, i promise ‘ she sighed

‘ sam, im serious’ he put his arm on her shoulder ‘ and dont go anywhere by yourself ‘

‘ ok , ok i wont ‘ she laughed giving him a kiss

‘ but you promise me that you wont do anything stupid’

‘something stupid like ... what?’ he grinned

‘ oooo like say me getting a phone call form jack saying that neils lying in a hospital bed, and you in a cell? she laughed

‘ i’d only do that if you asked me ‘ he sighed ‘ ok i wont do anything stupid, but i will try and sort things out... with out putting him in a hospital bed ‘ both sam and phil burst out laughing

later during the day, phil and sam were talking when gary came in

‘ sarge your needed on an obbo ‘

‘ and who asked for me?’ sam sighed

‘ the DI ‘ gary looked confused ‘ why? ‘

sam looked at phil

‘ ok i’ll be right down’ phil stood up and took hold of sams arm

‘ you gonna be ok? his face full of concern

‘ yes, i’ll be ok i wont go anywhere with him by myself ‘ phil still had hold of her arm ‘ please ‘ she whispered

‘ ok, be carefull ‘ he lowered his voice ‘ i love you ‘

‘ i love you to’

phil stared at her as she walked offand he couldn’t help feeling a glow deep inside. He was in love and he was going to do everything in his power to make her happy and keep safe

[hunterz_girl]

they had been driving for 10 minutes now, there was a cold silence neither of them saying a word, sam thought she had better say something, the silence was making her nervous

‘ so, where are we going?’ sam waited for a reply ‘ guv?’

neil was lost in thought, could he really do this? he didnt like sam... but he didnt hate her enough to do what hugh wanted? these questions would haunt neil until he decided...

‘ sorry’ neil suddenly realised that sam had spoken ‘ theres been another robbery, we know the suspects and their planning an attack on some warehouses... ‘ neil trailed off , thinking of what hugh had said, what was really planned for sam when they arrived at the warehouse...

‘guv ... look i know we dont see eye to eye, but are you ok?’

‘ yes, and i would rather you take an intersest in this obbo, rather than my personal life!’ neil snapped

‘ yes guv’ sam sighed looking back out the window

nei looked at sam, why didnt he like her? because she was a women? was that the only reason?

‘sam im sorry, i shouldnt of snapped at you, its just... i dont see why you would care about my personal life’

‘ like you take an interset in mine!’ sam hissed glaring at him ‘ phil told me about you ‘warning’ him, what is it are you jealous?’

‘ no of course not! ‘ why would he be jealous of sam? maybe he was his marraige wasn’t going anywhere, maybe beacuse he could see sam and phil making a go of things made him... dare he say it ... ‘jealous’.

‘ so what is it then?’ sam shouted

he looked at her once again, there was no way he could lead her to hugh even if he didnt like her , he quickly turned down a road heading away from the warehouses

‘where are we going?’ sam started to look worried

‘ there was no obbo at the warehouse’ he carried on driving, heading back to the station

‘what!’ sam got her mobile out

please sam listen to me! hugh wanted me take you to him but i cant, youv’e got to get back to the station, tell phil to go to my office and i’ll explain’... just then a car swerved in front of neils, he quickly braked sending sam flying she hit her head off the dashboard, blood trickling down her head she looked up ... hugh

[hunterz_girl]

sam looked over to neil , he had been knocked out his head was resting on the steering wheel, sam paniked, she quickly tried to get her seatbelt off

‘****’ she tugged at it and finally managed to get it off she flung the door open she hadnt noticed that hugh was standing by the car

‘hugh’ sam stopped she couldnt move she noticed he was holding something... a gun

‘ you cant go anywhere now, and poor neil cant help you, not that he is much help anyway’ hugh moved towards sam and grabbed her arm’ now come with me ‘ he dragged sam and pushed her against the car handcuffing her and pushed her in the car’ wheres phil now then? he laughed and got back in and drove off

back at sunhill

‘ whats going on? ‘ phil managed to ask gary who was rushing around

‘ neils been involved in an accident’

‘what!’ wheres sam?’

‘ you need to talk to jack about that ‘ gary rushed off again ‘ sorry!’

[hunterz_girl]

guv where is sam? is she ok? ‘ phil ran into jacks office

‘phil sit down’ jack moved over and closed the door ‘ just sit phil!’

‘weve been here before havn’t we hugh?’ sam shouted

‘one difference though, mr lover boy isnt here is he!’ ‘ hugh picked sam up and held her up against the wall, he had hold off her colar on her jacket, he had it wrapped tightly around her neck, she could feel it tightening it was choking her

‘and when ive finshed with you, no-one will want to touch you, not even phil ‘ he hissed

‘what?’ sam gasped for air, her breathing was unsteady and she was becoming scared, the look in hughs eye was different, he was really going to hurt her, she couldnt let him see she was scared, if she did that then there was no hope left

‘ and how are you going to do that?’ her voice was quiet and shakey

hugh stroked her face ‘ you’ll find out’ he laughed ‘ and how is abi now? shes back with her mother who couldnt even stop her from getting abducted, shes as pathetic as you are!’ sam felt a sudden rage building inside her, she rushed forward at hugh knocking him over, she saw a metal pole lying on the floor , she swung it at hugh but missed

‘ you little cow! ‘ hugh grabbed hold of the pole, him and sam both fighting for it but hugh was too strong , he smashed the pole against sam and pinned her to the wall

‘ you shouldn’t make me angry! i dont do nice things when im angry’ he hissed pushing sam to the floor... what was he going to do her? sam had never been so scared in her life, she tried to scream but she couldnt, what use would it be anyway no-one would here her... hugh just laughed and walked towards her...

"W... what... what the hell is going on?" sam gasped, her voice trembling.

sheI tried to fight back but he was twice as strong, as I He pinned her me down she couldn't fight him off. Tears streamed down her face, she let out a scream, she couldnt let this happen

‘That's right you bitch, getting what you finally deserve’

sam begged him to stop but he just laughed and hit her, ripped at her clothes, she tired to fight him off but she couldnt. he bruised her flesh, biting and groping her painfully. he bit her roughly on the shoulder and sam felt blood trickle down her back. she suddenly felt him holding her feet down with his body weight as he unzipped his pants.

‘ no ‘ sam screamed ‘ please’ tears now flowing from her eyes

sam started to struggle but he laughed. The last thing she felt was pain like she had never felt before as he thrust himself into her, A bloodcurdling scream left her throat as he forcefully thrust himself into her body. how could this happen to her...she then passed out

phil walked slowly back to his house, jack had thought he would be for the best if phil wasn’t involved in the search for sam, as he opened the door he broke down sobbing into a bottle of vodka... it was the best way to forget, forget what hugh could be doing to sam... forgeting the images that were haunting his mind...images of sam lying dead somwhere he knew he shouldn’t think like that but hugh was capable of anything. phil stayed where he was all night slowly passing out from the affects of drinking to much acohol...

[hunterz_girl]

there was a loud bang on the door, phil was still lying motionless on the floor , there was another bang and phil began to wake up, jack looked through the letterbox and saw phil lying there

‘ for gods sake’ jack walked back and rushed towards phils door, managing to break in ‘ phil what the hell have you done to yourself’ jack bent down and managed to get phil to stand up, he walked him to the the kitchen and sat him down at the table, he fetched a glass of water and some paracetomol

‘take these ‘ he sighed , phil took them and put his head into his hands

‘any news of sam yet?’ he yawned looking up at jack, his expression told him that they had ‘ its bad isnt it, she...she isnt...’

‘no, no of course not, shes been found ... but in a bad way, she was found dumped by the river she at the hospital now’

phil stood up, nerly falling over ‘ ive got to see her’ he walked out the corrider and picked up his keys

‘ phil, i’ll drive’ jack took his keys off and headed for the door

‘what for’ sam was standing at phils door , she looked down and saw the bottle of vodka lying on the floor and looked at phil, she noticed that he still had the same clothes on she sighed and walked through to the kitchen

‘ i’ll leave you two to it then’ jack picked up his own keys ‘ i’ll come back later ok’ he looked at sam and then at phil and shook his head ‘ look after her phil’

phil walked through to the kitchen ‘ sam... ‘ she turned round tears falling from her eyes ‘ whats up babe’ phil walked over to sam and put his arms round her, sam flinched ‘ dont ‘

‘what?’ phil looked hurt, ‘ wh... what happened?’ he walked back giving sam some space, he looked at her face she was covered in bruises her arms covered in cuts and grazes he put his hand on her shoulder making her move again he moved his hand down her arm and noticed a deep cut, which looked like...a bite,

‘ sam...’ he looked up at her but she moved her face away , she couldnt bear to look at him, she felt dirty how could she let that happen to her, she could still feel him, smell him all over her she had to get out, visions were running through her head...

‘ look phil ‘ she moved his hand from her ‘ i need to go home’

‘ um... ok i’ll give you a lift’

‘ no its ok...i’ll walk’ she walked over to the front door, phil could feel himself needing to cry, his insides felt like someone was twisting them ‘dont i get a kiss..or even a goodbye? he lent against the wall and lent in for a kiss

‘ dont phil! just leave me alone’ sam broke down, tears rolling of her cheeks, she couldnt breathe properly... phil put his arm round her, tears now falling slowly down his face ‘ babe... talk to me...what did he do to you?’

sam looked up at phil, she wanted to tell him but everytime she went to say the words ‘ he raped me’ the voice of hughs words were ringing inside her head, she head to fight this, she couldnt do it herself...

‘ he... he raped me phil! and i let him! i couldnt stop him he just...’ sam was now screaming phil tried to calm her down but she lashed out at him hitting him

‘ sam stop it!’ phil managed to get hold of her arms ‘ its not your fault!’ sam was still sobbing, she fell into phils arms ‘ i couldnt get him off me’ she whispered ‘ im sorry’

[hunterz_girl]

It was now late and phil decided that it would be better to let sam sleep on her own, he sat on the chair by his desk and started to catch up on some of his work, he knew there was no point trying to sleep he couldnt... the clocked kept ticking and it was soon 2am and phil was getting tired he quietly crept downstairs, first checking that sam was ok then slowly walking down the stairs he had just got into the kitchen when he heard sam screaming he quicklly dropped his mug, smashing it on the floor and rushed up the stairs

‘ sam, sam its ok!’ he quickly sat on the bed and held sam in his arms, she continued to cry for a long time and phil still sat there rocking her in his arms, gently stroking her blonde hair from her face. sam finally drifted off back to sleep, she was still lying in his arms so he decided to try and get some sleep too.

phil awoke hoping that he wake up and everything would just be a dream, that he and sam would still be lying together watching as the snow fell, he opened his eyes... sam was gone he paniked quickly jumping of the bed and rushing downstairs... sam was sitting at the table she was holding a cup of tea which had gone cold, there was blood on her hands

‘sam! what the hell...’ he quickly put a hand on her shoulder

‘ i cleared up that cup you dropped’ she turned round to look at him ‘ dont worry i havnt done anything stupid’ she hissed

‘ i never meant... ‘ he sighed ‘ sam im trying my hardest to be here for you...you just seem... depressed’

‘ i was raped phil! what else im i meant to be like! i wouldnt expect you to understand though! your life has always been perfect hasnt it!’

phil just nodded. ‘ if thats how you feel

‘I’m sorry.’ She said, wiping her eyes . ‘I get emotional.’

‘You never show it.’ phil knelt down beside sam and wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

‘I’m afraid I’ll be laughed at or people will show me pity know I shouldn’t care and I usually don’t but…’

‘Feel free to cry and show emotion in front of me, i love you sam i always will, i’ll never hurt you or laugh at you, i want to know all your fears how ever small, i want to be able to hold you in my arms and make you feel safe’

‘ you do phil! when im with you i feel like no-one can ever hurt me again...’ she began to cry again

‘ shh its ok, im gonna look after you’

[hunterz_girl]

weeks later

sam had got up early and made her way down stairs, she still hadnt slept propley ever since her attack but slowly with phils help she was getting back to normal, well what was normal for samantha nixon anyway, she quietly made her way to the kitchen and popped some bread into the toaster and put the kettle on and placed two mugs down, today was going to be her first day back at work she knew she wasnt ready but it was better than having all day to think about it, going over it in head over and over again being the stubborn person she was she refused to let what happend effect her in anyway. sam had got so lost in thought that she hadnt realised that the toast had burnt, setting of the smoke alarm she heard the footsteps of phil running down the stairs

‘ sam...’ he ran quickly into the kitchen and found sam leaning over the kitchen counter trying to open the window , he laughed to himself walking over to sam and putting one arm around her waist and with the over hand opened the window

‘ what are you trying to do?’ he laughed wrapping the over arm around her and kissing her softly

‘ i was ... trying to cook you breakfast ‘ she laughed looking over at the remainders of the toast

‘ well’ phil looked at the toast ‘ i love by toast... errm cremated’ they both started laughing

' well we could just pick something up before work ' sam wandered over to the kettle she knew what was coming

' sam, are you sure about all this?' he sighed

‘ of course i am, look phil if i leave the job i love then he would of won ‘ she spat as she said he ‘and this .. staying in all day is driving me mad ‘ she laughed ‘ and at least you can keep an eye on me all day long ‘ sam bit her lip ‘ or dont you want to see me all day ‘ she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly, then faced him and smiled

‘ sam...’ he tried to keep a straight face but he couldnt help smiling ‘ its up to you isnt it, i cant stop you ... come on lets get to work, we’ll pick something up on the way , i’ll just go get my coat, you wanta start the car?’ he picked up the keys and gave them to sam. just as sam got outside she heard someone in the bush she walked over

sam walked slowly over ‘hello?’ she heard someone walk up behind her

‘ sam?’ it was phil

‘ dont do that!’ sam was shaking like a leaf

‘ why were you talking to a bush?’ phil laughed

‘ i thought i saw... ‘ she paused if she told phil what she thought she had seen, well heard then he march her back into the house for another 3 weeks

‘ you saw what?’ phil looked confused ‘ your right being stuck in doors has made you mad’ he laughed

sam forced a laugh ‘ its ok i thought i saw a cat thats all, come on you can drive’ she chucked the keys to phil

‘ ok, get in then’ phil started the car and they drove off , just as they did someone emerged from the bushes and started stood on the doorstep he looked around and broke down the door

[hunterz_girl]

thats all for now! would love any feed back or ideas! will update soon, love ya!

hugz maz xx

[Tannie]

aww that is brilliant hunnie

[hunterz_girl]

thanks! :cheer: glad ya like it!

[Tannie]

i do it's really good please do more soon.

[billfan]

hey maz itz becky. Glad you put your stroy on here so that more people can enjoy it. Thanx for emailing me the next chapter itz great! gd luck with it.

Becky

[hunterz_girl]

It wasn't that she was afraid, though of course, she was. Fear was a constant state of being for sam at the moment. Fear burned in her stomach and pounded in her head. Fear even kept her from sleeping, from laughing, even from trusting phil. was that really hugh she had seen, or was it due to the lack of sleep she had been having recently, her mind playing games.

‘ sam?’

‘ what.. oh sorry i was just thinking’ sam smiled and put her hand on phils leg ‘ so where we going for something to eat?

‘ um well we could get something from work if you want or we could stop by in the cafe on the way?’

‘ its up too you whatever you want?’ sam smiled they could never decide on anything, she knew phil was going to try and stop her from going into work for as long as possible so knew that it would be the cafe

‘ ok well we can stop at the cafe then’ sam laughed

‘ what?’ phil looked confused

‘ nothing ‘ she just smiled

they carried on driving in silence until they reached the cafe, phil stopped the car and put his hand on sams arm

‘ what is it?’ phils eyes full of concern

‘ nothing ‘ sam managed to force a smile out. but she knew it wasnt ‘nothing’ For once she was vunerable. Not the stubborn, strong willed person she always seemed to be know as. She was strong, yes but For whatever reason however her mind wouldn't allow her to forget the bad times and just move on but through all the pain and heartache, for some reason her heart knew that the only time she’d feel safe, happy , whatever she needed to feel was when she was with phil.

‘ sam, i thought we could tell each other everything’ he turned away and sighed. he went to get out the car when sam suddenly spoke

‘ wait’ tears flowing from her eyes ‘i.. i need to tell you something’

‘ what is it?’ he wiped the tears from sams face

‘i... think i...i..im pregnant’

[billfan]

cool, looking forward to the next parts, especially with Hugh, the possible baby and all.

[hunterz_girl]

sorry i havnt updated sooner! heres the nest chap, tell me wat ya think

‘ well say something... please ‘ sam was sobbing

phil tried to open his mouth as if to say something, but he just couldn’t vocalize all the feeling and emotions shooting through him at that moment.

‘i..’ he just turned away he couldnt bear to look at sam, he couldnt bear to see her pain again.

‘ im sorry phil’ she opened the door

‘ no wait’ he sighed ‘ its just a shock... i mean.. it could be...’ he suddenly stopped knowing that he had said too much

‘ it could be his! thanks phil , just what i needed to hear ‘

‘ babe wait, i didnt mean...’ sam cut him off

‘i know exactly what you meant! why would you want to raise a child of a rapist?

‘beacuse i love you sam...’ tears were running down his face ‘ and if the baby is his..whatever you decide i want to be a part of its life... i want to be a part of everything in your life’

sam broke down and layed in his arms he stroked her hair softly

‘sam’ phil placed a hand on her chin and lifted it up ‘ i meant everything i said you know’

‘ i know you did... and... i love you too’ tears were still falling from her sparkling green eyes phil wiped them away and slowly kissed her, they finally pulled away

‘you sure you want to go into work today?

sam just nodded

‘ well we better get a move on or we’ll be late’ phil smiled and kissed sam quickly on the lips and started the car

back at phils

hugh walked around phils house, he looked at a picture of phil and sam, they had been messing around in a photo booth ... he realised that there was nothing he could ever do to make her love him she loved phil... no-one could ever come between them... he searched around for a pen and some paper

dear sam

im sorry for all the pain i caused you, i’ve realised that theres nothing i can do to get you to ever love me. You and Phil belong together its easy to see how in love you are. i just wish that it was me and not him. theres no going back with us , i no that now. this will be the last time you ever here from me,dont blame yourself after all death is just another part of life.

hugh

[Tori]

omg, its brilliant. i didn't know this was a bill fanfic. i love it!

[adorableangel]

yes this is very good we want more we want more!!

[Tannie]

aw loved that bit i just caught up on the last bit as i hadn't noticed you had posted! more son please hun.

[hunterz_girl]

As sam entered CID alot of heads turned to look at her, the room fell silent. sam made her way to her desk all eyes still on her no-one knew about the rape apart from her, phil and jack. thats the way she wanted it to stay. there was one person she wanted to talk to, she needed to know why he would put her in so much danger she knew that her and manson never saw eye to eye, there was alot of things they needed to talk about. sam got up she was getting a funny feeling from evryone looking at her talking about her behind her back, she made her way towards mansons office and knocked on his door...

‘ come in’

'sam' manson stood up

'we need to talk' manson sat back down ' yeah your right ' he sighed

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can we have uniform go to theres been a report of a break in

‘ ok were on are way’ tony said over the radio ‘ isnt that phils place?’

[hunterz_girl]

‘ all i want to know is...why?’ sam stood with her back to the door, manson could’nt even look her in the eye, the guilt was rushing through him he knew she wouldn’t back down until she got an answer...

‘ because...’ he sighed finally looking at sam ‘ i was jealous’

sam just stood there , unable to say a word... did manson just say he was jealous? what did he have to be jealous about?

‘ ive seen you with phil, you look so happy’ he turned away

‘ so you let him..do this to me because you were jealous!’ sam shouted, her voice trembling slightly ‘ you really are a pathetic man! do you really hate me that much?’ sam was sobbing

‘sam..im ‘ manson had never seen sam like this before and there was fear in her voice. she'd rarely shown fear in front of anyone regardless of the situation. he walked over to sam and put his hand on her shoulder making her flinch

‘what did he do to you?’

‘ he raped me!’ sam put her head on his shoulder and let him comfort her

‘i promise sam i will do everything i can to help you get him’

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tony crept in slilently into phils house nothing seemed out of place

‘think you should get phil over here, see whats going on, theres no sign of a break in but...’ he sighed ‘ theres alot of blood, no sign of anyone here’

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phil was looking everywhere for sam, he was worried that she had come back to work too early and no-one had seen her for a while, just then his mobile went off , he flipped it open

‘ i’ll be right there’

he quickly text sam

babe where are you? need to see you. love you. phil xx

[hunterz_girl]

Sam was still in mansons arms, he hadn’t mean to cause her this much pain, he felt so angry that he had helped cause this out of jealously, he hated himself. He gently pushed Sam back, handing her a tissue.

''Are you sure your ready to be back at work?'' Neil asked "you look really tired''

"Every night I go to bed, only to wake up hours later screaming as I rememberwhat he did,I sometimes wonder why I even sleep...all that happens is I sleep for a couple of hours and then wake up.Im lucky if ican get a decent four hours of sleep, but on most nights it is only a few.

'' You should get home, take the rest of the day off''

''I want to be here, I don’t want to be stuck at home, thinking about...'' Sam trailed off as the door opened; she tried her best to hide the fact that she is crying

''Sam,We’ve been looking everywhere for you!' Gina said, she noticed Sam had been crying, she hadn't been herself for a while now ‘‘you need to get to Phil’s''

''Why? What’s happened? Sam asked, she was worried her and Phil hadn’t exactly had a good morning

''There’s been a break in, Phil’s fine don’t worry he just wants you down there'' Gina said before leaving

''I'll take you if you want?'' Neil offered

''Thanks'' she smiled faintly. They both left the station, driving to Phil’s. They pulled up on the drive