Bryan
30-01-2006, 23:32
Heya guys just done this for my monolouge for english courswork, a few members said it was good so thought id post it in here:
Of all the cheak! …the blooming cheak! I tell you! Id expect it from one of them ASBO families, anti social… behaviour order, but not me own bloomin’ son! He comes around, Nick that is, me eldest…well Maggie is me eldest but we don’t talk about her cus she’s one of those lesbians…wouldn’t touch her with a bargepole since I found that out…anyways….Nick, me eldest he comes around with that latest floozy of this…Brandy her name is…Brandy I tell you! Of the all the names… he’ll get a reputation he will… an alcoholic beverage for a squeeze isn’t nothing to brag about…anyways where was I? Oh yeah he comes around…knocks on the door…the bells broke ennit?, because he was meant to fix it a couple of weeks back but he had to rush down the hospital cus Karen, me youngest she’d broke her waters…anyways that’s sidetracking… a little girl it was, er 7 pounds 7 ounces…don’t quote me on that tough…back to the story…so he comes round and he expects me to cook em a meal and make him a cuppa…honestly im his mother not his housewife…mind you when shes called Brandy is it any wonder he comes to his mommy…. And then all I asked for was to see that video…the one of me and Burts golden wedding…. He passed away last year… nice to see the family having fun on it…and err the little grandkids…anyways….Karen had brought me one of those “Freeview” boxes for Christmas,…ask for a toyboy…get a set top box… and well my tv, Burt got it off the back of a lorry a few years back now…must be…erm…10…going on 15 years…no 14 id say…yes 14….that’s when Nick got kicked out of school….well anyways the tv only has one of them thingies on the back…ya know that slit to plug ya stuff into…so he had to unplug the freeview…id been watching that teachers tv channel…don’t ask why it was that or Des and Mel and I cant stick that woman… so he unplugs it…and he says…look at the dust behind here mar…and I goes…what the fecking heck has that got to do with you?….and then…the cheak of it…he goes to me and says…you need to stop pigging out on bacon sarnies, no pun intended, and get off that fat **** and do some housework…the cheak! My **** is not fat! I’ve spent a blooming fortune on them fitness dvds…haven’t even got a dvd player but it’s the thought that counts… so I says geroutta my house! Just like Peggy on Eastenders…and I kicks him and that tart of his out of the house…fat ****? The cheak!
Of all the cheak! …the blooming cheak! I tell you! Id expect it from one of them ASBO families, anti social… behaviour order, but not me own bloomin’ son! He comes around, Nick that is, me eldest…well Maggie is me eldest but we don’t talk about her cus she’s one of those lesbians…wouldn’t touch her with a bargepole since I found that out…anyways….Nick, me eldest he comes around with that latest floozy of this…Brandy her name is…Brandy I tell you! Of the all the names… he’ll get a reputation he will… an alcoholic beverage for a squeeze isn’t nothing to brag about…anyways where was I? Oh yeah he comes around…knocks on the door…the bells broke ennit?, because he was meant to fix it a couple of weeks back but he had to rush down the hospital cus Karen, me youngest she’d broke her waters…anyways that’s sidetracking… a little girl it was, er 7 pounds 7 ounces…don’t quote me on that tough…back to the story…so he comes round and he expects me to cook em a meal and make him a cuppa…honestly im his mother not his housewife…mind you when shes called Brandy is it any wonder he comes to his mommy…. And then all I asked for was to see that video…the one of me and Burts golden wedding…. He passed away last year… nice to see the family having fun on it…and err the little grandkids…anyways….Karen had brought me one of those “Freeview” boxes for Christmas,…ask for a toyboy…get a set top box… and well my tv, Burt got it off the back of a lorry a few years back now…must be…erm…10…going on 15 years…no 14 id say…yes 14….that’s when Nick got kicked out of school….well anyways the tv only has one of them thingies on the back…ya know that slit to plug ya stuff into…so he had to unplug the freeview…id been watching that teachers tv channel…don’t ask why it was that or Des and Mel and I cant stick that woman… so he unplugs it…and he says…look at the dust behind here mar…and I goes…what the fecking heck has that got to do with you?….and then…the cheak of it…he goes to me and says…you need to stop pigging out on bacon sarnies, no pun intended, and get off that fat **** and do some housework…the cheak! My **** is not fat! I’ve spent a blooming fortune on them fitness dvds…haven’t even got a dvd player but it’s the thought that counts… so I says geroutta my house! Just like Peggy on Eastenders…and I kicks him and that tart of his out of the house…fat ****? The cheak!