View Full Version : Would you smack your child?
Tony Blair's admitted to smacking which has bought out the anti-smacking campaigners in full.
I had a fair few whacks from my dad and in all honesty I can say it did me good.
"Shall I steal that .... um, maybe not, my backside is still sore from dad's size 12 slipper" :crying:
~charlie-lou~
11-01-2006, 13:34
My father has smacked me plenty of times. Both of us have inherited the family temper, so usually when he hit me I would start screeching at him that he should go away and never come back as nobody would miss him, he was a psychopath etc. I'm 14 and my sisters are both 12 and he still hits us occasionally, usually he would only hit us if we were incredibly rude or something. I wish he wouldn't, my mother hates it, and to be honest I don't think it has done me any good because whenever he does, my venomous tongue gets the better of me, then he is reduced to confiscating my stuff etc.
The last time he thwacked me, he did it really hard, and I lost my temper and slapped his face MIGHTY hard. In a kind of black way it was pretty hilarious.
lollymay
11-01-2006, 13:39
i was smacked when i was younger not very hard mind you and only when i was very naughty. the only thing is it dosent work anymore with me because ill just smack my dad back now
In general I do not smack. I do not approve of a bigger and stronger person using physical strength and threats as a way of controlling kids.
That said, I have in the past smacked my boys, not often maybe twice and they are 11 and 13. This has happened because I have totally lost control of myself and I am not proud of it. The occasions when I have smacked it has been a slap on the legs, and like I said it has been almost an admission of lack of control. I have been stressed (about something else), or premenstral and some naughtiness has been the last straw for me. I felt terrible immediately.
When the boys were little I used a time out method. I would start by saying No! very firmly and if the child did not stop what ever they were doing then I would sit them on the bottom step for a minute, ask them to say sorry and then give them a cuddle. this generally worked well.
This worked until they were about 7 or 8.
Now I withdraw privaliages. They get one warning and if whatever does not cease then the lose computer time (controlled by enuff!), or pocket money. My kids are very mercenary! Generally I give them the opportunity to 'earn' what ever it is back, and they end up not really losing anything, but the threat is enough.
I have to say, my kids are really very well behaved 99% of the time.
This stuff about smacking your parents back - have times changed that much?
when I was young I can only remember being smacked twice,and that was only a tap on the legs,I know how far to push my mum and dad,so it never came to having a smack. I never had to smack stephen, I would change the tone of my vioce and that was enough, I do remember the once that I did smack him on the hand ,when he was trying to put his fingers in the fire,and that was more for a shock thing so he didn't do it again.
This stuff about smacking your parents back - have times changed that much?
My kids have never done that.
I guess it depends on the parents and the kids.
One point though, if a parent smack a child can they really complain if the get slapped back?
Respect is something that needs to be shown to children as well as to parents.
Chloe O'brien
11-01-2006, 14:29
I was smacked a lot as a child as was my sisters and brothers. But now i can count on the one hand the amount of times i have smacked Marley, and that has only been on the bottom or the top of the legs. I agree with Trinity in dishing out punishment. If Marley mis behaves i withdraw privliges such as watching cartoons after tea or not allowing her to play on the computer.
This stuff about smacking your parents back - have times changed that much?
I think they have, there is no way I would have smacked my mum or dad back.. they would have killed me!!
I have rarely smacked charley, once or twice when like Trinity, i have been completely stressed and all else has failed.. I usually punish her by stopping her playing with her favourite toy for a while, or not watching TV. It has a better affect on her
i was smacked as a child by my mum.but if and when i become a dad i won't smack my kids unless i have to but i would never Abuse them
di marco
11-01-2006, 15:42
i used to get smacked by my parents. mostly it was just by my mum using her hand on my legs or arms etc, sometimes on my back/side, although my dad did hit my with his slipper one day really really hard, my mum went balistic at him though cos it left a mark there for days. my mum said though that she would never hit me round the head as i know some people that do that. the thing is the things i did were never really that bad cos im too scared of what my paremts would do if i did something really wrong. my mum doesnt really smack me anymore, she just bans me from doing everything! although sometimes when she does this i end up screaming at her so she smacks me then, and i admit i have smacked her back before when shes been really angry and made me really angry, i know i shouldnt do it and then she hits me back again even harder but i cant always help it!
I do try my best not to but when you are up to your ears in stuff and you are so stressed and you have a 4 year old throwing tanturms, you do lash out...
lollymay
11-01-2006, 16:27
i dont get on very well with my dad so once when he smacked me i couldnt help smacking him back. its not as though i ment to smack him back its because he smacked me for something i didnt even do
I dont tihnk theres anything wrong with smacking your child if they've been naughty or whatever. Its just when people do it all the time that it's over the top.
As for smakcing parents back. Well, i'd never have dreamed of doing that!
~*~Leanne~*~
11-01-2006, 16:28
i'd never smack my mum or dad back but then they don't smack me they might of once or twice but not for ages
xXxJessxXx
11-01-2006, 16:34
I dont think that smacking a child gets the results you want. I know if my mum or dad hits me it get me even more annoyed and i just purpously play up even more. (even if it means getting hit) I think its cruel to hit a child no matter what the circumstances and think the parents who do are just looking for an easy way out really. Hitting a child takes away the respect between the parent and Child. Children are always said to respect their parents but how can they when they get a smack for doing something. In my opinion someone who hits me doesnt deserve my respect.
I think giving a small child a tap on the hand (which doesnt hurt) so they learn right and wrong is ok but only up till they are about 5 (obviously as the effect of a tap on the hand wares off.) I think parents should resolve in other types of punishment for children.
lollymay
11-01-2006, 16:41
i sound really bad now smacking my dad back now dont i. but he deserved it. he smacked me round the head for smashing his boat but it wasnt even me
i don't remember ever being smacked.... i have a temper and they know its better to leave me to cool off then talk to me about it... i remember when i was young i would hit my parents
i was hit once by my dad but i just hit him back and he never did it again.
.:SpIcYsPy:.
11-01-2006, 19:07
This stuff about smacking your parents back - have times changed that much?
I used to get smacks but I was't ever naughty and still not.. it used to hurt but nothing like BAD... Id never dares to hit my parents back or they'd kill me!! I respect them in that case and don't do 'naughty' things..
Sister is always naughty.. Brother I protect.. but yeah... I guess times have changed..
.:SpIcYsPy:.
11-01-2006, 19:09
I dont tihnk theres anything wrong with smacking your child if they've been naughty or whatever. Its just when people do it all the time that it's over the top.
As for smakcing parents back. Well, i'd never have dreamed of doing that!
Very well said... I should have read this first lol..
leanne27
11-01-2006, 19:40
i remember when i was about 5 or something i was scared of fireworks on bonfire night and my dad had paid a lot of money for them and so he was annoyed that i never even wanted to look at them, i was really crying and he just shoved me so hard practically across the room, my mum was appauled. Me and my dad are actually close now but i still haven't forgot it and never will i guess, its not a nice memory i have.
pookie1968uk
11-01-2006, 20:05
if smacking is not approved of then what other means of discipline should be used. if you look at kids today they are definitely lacking in discipline, at school, in their attittude to the police etc. when my dad was young the police would clip the kids round the earhole and the kids had a real respect for the police, teachers etc, not now.
I would never think of hitting my parents back.
If I did something seriously wrong, then I would expect consequences (anything that involved the police or the school inspectors it seems). Other than that, the punishment was no spending money which hit hard.
I just don't buy into the argument that if you hit a child they will grow up to be abusive and rebellious. In fact, I'm a firm believer in corporal punishment. I call it as I see it, and in my day you had respect for your elders and that starts from the school.
The difference is: if your teacher told your parents that you were mishaving, you were guaranteed to get a clip around the ear. Nowadays, the parent will accuse the teacher of lying as their kid is an 'angel'.
The best anecdote I read was about a boy in the 1930s who had stolen something. His dad found out, and gave him a note to take to the local police station (yes, apparently we used to have good policing once!). The note read something on the lines of "I have been a naughty boy. Please lock me in the cells to teach me a lesson". Very much doubt you would get something like that today.
CrazyLea
11-01-2006, 20:17
my parents have never smacked me (not that i remember) no matter if i was naughty or what. i think its better like that, i dont think children who get smacked learn anymore. well i suppose they do in a way. but sometimes that just makes them into an angry/violent person. (imo)
The difference is: if your teacher told your parents that you were mishaving, you were guaranteed to get a clip around the ear. Nowadays, the parent will accuse the teacher of lying as their kid is an 'angel'.
I completly agree. This happens all the time, and it really bugs me. People in my year get away with murder, just because their parents come in and defend them. Make out its the teachers fault, or make out they were provoked. Parents dont side with the teachers anymore, but with their little darlings, who just lie. Why dont they realise that?
Of course i'd neevr do a thing like that- i'm an :angel:
di marco
11-01-2006, 20:44
yeh my mum works with yr4 children and says its dreadful cos there are so many things teachers arent allowed to do now that the kids can do what they like and theres nothing to stop them!
i sisnt really ever get samked i think i did when i was younger but not like badly you know and very rarely , but when i have kids i dont think i would do it i dont think i could bare it and as far as im concered it may have a bad influnence on your child , meaning that your child is learning about the violence in the world at quite a young age, however that is my opinion and the case i just explained may not happen all the time
I have done - but in extreme circumstances (when my eldest nearly ran into the road infront of a car for example and nearly got himself killed). There is no respect these days - children can divorce their parents, police (when they are around) can't do their jobs for fear of retribution and punishment for doing just that. When I was younger I was and still am, scared of the police, but kids these days aren't - a lot of them (and not all of them) just have no respect for people. I laugh when my health visitor tells me that if my kids do something they shouldn't (hit each other with objects etc) I should softly tell them that they really shouldn't do it as its not very nice!!! Ummm, like that has ever worked with mine!!
I have done - but in extreme circumstances (when my eldest nearly ran into the road infront of a car for example and nearly got himself killed). There is no respect these days - children can divorce their parents, police (when they are around) can't do their jobs for fear of retribution and punishment for doing just that. When I was younger I was and still am, scared of the police, but kids these days aren't - a lot of them (and not all of them) just have no respect for people. I laugh when my health visitor tells me that if my kids do something they shouldn't (hit each other with objects etc) I should softly tell them that they really shouldn't do it as its not very nice!!! Ummm, like that has ever worked with mine!!well yes in ectreme circumstances i can underatnd and im styill very scared of the police and im 14
I was never smacked or threatend with it when I was a child. I've never hit anyone ever either, including my two little brothers. I dont think I'ver ever had a problem with respect to teachers, police or figures of authority either. I guess it depends on the indvidual.
I think my mum just used to walk away when we were stressing her out, and my Dad just used to send us to our rooms (in thoes days we didnt have tellys etc in our rooms, so it was a form of punishment).
pookie1968uk
11-01-2006, 21:57
thats a point also, if you send a child to their room these days its not a punishment is it, they have everything there they have ever needed or wanted!!
Tony Blair's admitted to smacking which has bought out the anti-smacking campaigners in full.
I had a fair few whacks from my dad and in all honesty I can say it did me good.
"Shall I steal that .... um, maybe not, my backside is still sore from dad's size 12 slipper" :crying:
i dont smack connot very much at all. i dont think it teaches him anything at all, the only times ive ever smacked him is when he does something that is realy gonna hurt or harm him
thats a point also, if you send a child to their room these days its not a punishment is it, they have everything there they have ever needed or wanted!!
connor gets sent to the naughty step! ints in our hallway and there is nowt to do out there or anything interesting to look at plus it really does work!
connor gets sent to the naughty step! ints in our hallway and there is nowt to do out there or anything interesting to look at plus it really does work!
I really think thats the best way to go, cause there is nothing to do, therefore the only option is for them to either think about what the've done (if their old enough) or to realise that if they are naughty they end up in a draughty hallway with nothing to do.
I really think thats the best way to go, cause there is nothing to do, therefore the only option is for them to either think about what the've done (if their old enough) or to realise that if they are naughty they end up in a draughty hallway with nothing to do.
connor thinks about it sometimes he will throw all my shoes up the hallway but that just gets him more time plus i make him tidy up every single one which he hates. he has now started to realise that throwing the shoes just makes things worse
also when he was naughty i use to shout and scream at him but now i am calm mummy and just scoop him up sit him down and say stay there until you can be good mumy dosent want to see you till then!! and within minutes he usually back to normal!
not that he that naughty at all!!
connor thinks about it sometimes he will throw all my shoes up the hallway but that just gets him more time plus i make him tidy up every single one which he hates. he has now started to realise that throwing the shoes just makes things worse
also when he was naughty i use to shout and scream at him but now i am calm mummy and just scoop him up sit him down and say stay there until you can be good mumy dosent want to see you till then!! and within minutes he usually back to normal!
not that he that naughty at all!!
awww bless, hope I'm like that if/when I have kids
awww bless, hope I'm like that if/when I have kids
i just dont think shouting works! connor just dosent respond well to it he plays up more if i show it is gettng to me!
i never thougt id be like i am but once your a mum oyu learn what best for your kids!
My nephews punishment is simple: no XBox
His maths and english have come on in bounds since
My nephews punishment is simple: no XBox
His maths and english have come on in bounds since
Sign of the times?
Ours was no telly (black and white!!)
My nephews punishment is simple: no XBox
His maths and english have come on in bounds since
yeah connors new one is no nick jnr for a day. he screams and crys when i turn it over or off as i think he watches far too much. and it is so pathetic over a tv channel to get worked up like he does so i just ban it! he fone with that and it is starting to stop the tantrums. when he goes to my mums and she puts it on ( if he banned he shuts his eyes and shouts NO NANNY IM BANNED TILL TOMORROW!!
twinkle_eyes83
12-01-2006, 16:37
i was smacked when i was little but only on the hand and if i was really bad i never hit my mum or dad back but i would love to give my mother a smack in the face now
as for kids it depands on the kids mum and dad how they tell them of but i have only smacked my daughter once and that was for say a naughtey word my other kids saw me they would not say it again after they saw her get a smack on her hand and most of the time they are good so i dont need to smack
i have smacked niall, (he is getting a bit big now, he is 10) when he was little, not hard just a little tap not a hard whack, and i also tap niamh on the hand or on the botty when she has a nappy on. i have never and will never use a slipper or any thing like that.
there is a fine line betwen hitting and smacking
yeah connors new one is no nick jnr for a day. he screams and crys when i turn it over or off as i think he watches far too much. and it is so pathetic over a tv channel to get worked up like he does so i just ban it! he fone with that and it is starting to stop the tantrums. when he goes to my mums and she puts it on ( if he banned he shuts his eyes and shouts NO NANNY IM BANNED TILL TOMORROW!! Ah bless him,I bet nanny gives in if you are not there though :rotfl:
yeah connors new one is no nick jnr for a day. he screams and crys when i turn it over or off as i think he watches far too much. and it is so pathetic over a tv channel to get worked up like he does so i just ban it! he fone with that and it is starting to stop the tantrums. when he goes to my mums and she puts it on ( if he banned he shuts his eyes and shouts NO NANNY IM BANNED TILL TOMORROW!!
Charley's lastest is not doing her homework at night and she has to do it in the morning so I have told her no story if she forgets to do it.. I enforced it last night and my heart when out to her as she sobbed :(
twinkle_eyes83
12-01-2006, 17:54
aww bless i have no trouble with jade and her homwork its jamie and his
Emma-Lou
12-01-2006, 18:26
When i was younger i can only remeber being tapped on the nappy nothing harder i have never been smacked by a slipper.I get angry with my parents buti never hit them and now they would not hit me.
Ah bless him,I bet nanny gives in if you are not there though :rotfl:
yes she does just like when we nip into tescos for one thing and conor says he wants to get in a trolley i say no we only going to be a minute and then turn around and nanny is pushing him in a trolley! really winds me up
di marco
12-01-2006, 20:52
yes she does just like when we nip into tescos for one thing and conor says he wants to get in a trolley i say no we only going to be a minute and then turn around and nanny is pushing him in a trolley! really winds me up
haha arent all nans like that though?!
haha arent all nans like that though?!
yeAh thy are! my nan used to do everything we wanted mum used to go mad, she used to put sugar in our sqaush for us and sugar on our toast!!!! sounds gross but at teh time we loved it!
di marco
13-01-2006, 12:33
yeAh thy are! my nan used to do everything we wanted mum used to go mad, she used to put sugar in our sqaush for us and sugar on our toast!!!! sounds gross but at teh time we loved it!
yeh my grans like that, when we go down there we are allowed to eat what we want, plus she records programmes for us that my mum doesnt want us to see, its great, she lets us do what we want, if my mum found out though she would go mental!
Angeltigger
13-01-2006, 12:57
only at the end- but other than that i would never smack my child
pookie1968uk
13-01-2006, 14:08
yeAh thy are! my nan used to do everything we wanted mum used to go mad, she used to put sugar in our sqaush for us and sugar on our toast!!!! sounds gross but at teh time we loved it!
lol we used to have sugar on toast when we were younger!! then grill it till it goes hard and caramelised!!!!!!! wouldnt recommend it now, probably one of the reasons im the size i am now!!! :rotfl:
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