JustJodi
03-01-2006, 08:00
Hi I was looking thru the Mirror and found this article,, thought it would be an intersting thread to discuss.. BTW for your info I checked first to see if there was a similar thread going and there isn't :) (ps didn't know how to remove that stupid advertisement,, so forgive me please :D )
3 January 2006
SHELLEYVISION: WALFORD'S A BIT OF A DEAD ENDER
Jim Shelley Goes For The Jugular
AND so to Walford, crime capital of Europe, where death stalks the residents of Albert Square on a daily basis.
Most of the families are permanently grieving: the Fowlers (Mark, Arthur), the Moons (Nana), the Slaters (Ma Slater), Dot Cotton (Nick), Sonia (Jamie). Even Ruby (her muvver and sister) and Demi (Leo the smackhead) have had their young lives blighted.
Murder has touched nearly everyone - either as suspects, perpetrators or relatives of the victims: Pat (Barry), the Trumans (Paul), Sharon and Dennis (Dirty Den).
Chrissie murdered Den. Dennis murdered Dalton. Johnny murdered Andy 'Unter. Sam and Zoe are on the run. It's a good job Walford's the only place in London where the villains haven't got guns.
No wonder the people in the crime-ridden barrios of Rio offer a daily refrain: well, at least we don't live in Walford.
This week the Mean Streets of Walford claimed another victim. Here's how it went dahn.
THE week started with Dennis and Sharon ecstatically 'appy. Never a good idea.
Pat, Ruby and Sharon queue up to ask Johnny Allen to stop his feud with Dennis. Johnny insists though and grabs Sharon by the throat, turning her face from bright orange to blood orange.
"Come midnight, you're gone," he growls, threatening Dennis with the same treatment as Cinderella.
DENNIS and Sharon are in bed being ostentatiously happy.
"It must be me 'ormones!" flaunts Sharon, who claims her enormous size is due to the fact that she is pregnant. "I'm hungry.
It must be me 'ormones! Dennis can't wait to tell his mates the good news about the bay-bay, until he remembers he hasn't got any mates. (He spent his stag night with Jim and Patrick.) Sharon (ingeniously) decides not to tell Dennis that Johnny is going to kill him.
"I can't," she confides in Pat - one orange woman to anuvver. "I'm scared of wot might 'appen." Good thinking.
"IT'D be really nice for something GOOD to happen today," Jane says - thus guaranteeing some- thing BAD is imminent. Phil is eager for violence and goes into full Grumpy Old Troll mode. It's official then, Sharon trembles. It's a turf war! Hurrah! From the bookies to the Vic: not much turf, admittedy.
Later, Sharon is wedged on to the sofa forcing Dennis to be romantic. "Do you like snow?" she asks. Trying to be hard, Dennis says he doesn't.
Dennis then seals his fate by telling her about his near-death experience as a child when he fell through the ice. "I tried to climb out but it kept breaking. That was the scariest bit. Something you thought was solid..."
Realising this symbolism isn't subtle enough, he continues. "It feels like I've been underwater my whole life..."
News of the baby was "like I could feel the sun on my face and I was breathing for the first time."
Frankly, I preferred him when he was kicking people's heads in.
STILL in soppy symbolism mode, Dennis tells Phil about an arcade game he used to play ("bit of a girl's game really"), where success was rewarded in a star that earned you a replay.
"All my life I've been looking for a real star. You had it once and you let it go, so I guess I'm the one who gets another chance at life."
Phil does his Iago number to Dennis's Othello, whispering away, winding Dennis up until he starts doing his old Sal Mineo psycho act: his face leaning slightly to one side, eyes bulging, slamming vodkas, talking in angst-ridden parables.
"How do you know when the journey's over, Dot?"
Mildly psychotic, Dennis goes over to Johnny and smashes his face in.
Sadly, not only does Johnny survive, he arranges for Dennis to be shanked.
And so in a week of (mostly excellent) old skool-style EastEnders Christmas episodes, the show has got rid of four characters.
Alfie and Nana, we're well rid of. Kat and Dennis, I'm not so sure. I'd trade either of those for all of the Millers, the Beales, the Slaters (minus Stacey) and those Black & White Minstrels, Juley and Gus.
Last night, the new Dennis, Deano Wicks, pitched up.
Yet another graduate from the EastEnders school of grubby street urchins, Deano's first contribution was to halfinch flowers left for Dennis. Luvverly!
Suddenly everyone loved Dennis even though he had been a violent little psychopath/whingeing baby when he was alive.
Sharon thus takes the lead in the Walford grieving stakes, having had her father and her husband both murdered in only a few months.
"It's not the place that's a problem," Phil told Peggy Philosophically.
"It's the people who live here."
Discuss.
3 January 2006
SHELLEYVISION: WALFORD'S A BIT OF A DEAD ENDER
Jim Shelley Goes For The Jugular
AND so to Walford, crime capital of Europe, where death stalks the residents of Albert Square on a daily basis.
Most of the families are permanently grieving: the Fowlers (Mark, Arthur), the Moons (Nana), the Slaters (Ma Slater), Dot Cotton (Nick), Sonia (Jamie). Even Ruby (her muvver and sister) and Demi (Leo the smackhead) have had their young lives blighted.
Murder has touched nearly everyone - either as suspects, perpetrators or relatives of the victims: Pat (Barry), the Trumans (Paul), Sharon and Dennis (Dirty Den).
Chrissie murdered Den. Dennis murdered Dalton. Johnny murdered Andy 'Unter. Sam and Zoe are on the run. It's a good job Walford's the only place in London where the villains haven't got guns.
No wonder the people in the crime-ridden barrios of Rio offer a daily refrain: well, at least we don't live in Walford.
This week the Mean Streets of Walford claimed another victim. Here's how it went dahn.
THE week started with Dennis and Sharon ecstatically 'appy. Never a good idea.
Pat, Ruby and Sharon queue up to ask Johnny Allen to stop his feud with Dennis. Johnny insists though and grabs Sharon by the throat, turning her face from bright orange to blood orange.
"Come midnight, you're gone," he growls, threatening Dennis with the same treatment as Cinderella.
DENNIS and Sharon are in bed being ostentatiously happy.
"It must be me 'ormones!" flaunts Sharon, who claims her enormous size is due to the fact that she is pregnant. "I'm hungry.
It must be me 'ormones! Dennis can't wait to tell his mates the good news about the bay-bay, until he remembers he hasn't got any mates. (He spent his stag night with Jim and Patrick.) Sharon (ingeniously) decides not to tell Dennis that Johnny is going to kill him.
"I can't," she confides in Pat - one orange woman to anuvver. "I'm scared of wot might 'appen." Good thinking.
"IT'D be really nice for something GOOD to happen today," Jane says - thus guaranteeing some- thing BAD is imminent. Phil is eager for violence and goes into full Grumpy Old Troll mode. It's official then, Sharon trembles. It's a turf war! Hurrah! From the bookies to the Vic: not much turf, admittedy.
Later, Sharon is wedged on to the sofa forcing Dennis to be romantic. "Do you like snow?" she asks. Trying to be hard, Dennis says he doesn't.
Dennis then seals his fate by telling her about his near-death experience as a child when he fell through the ice. "I tried to climb out but it kept breaking. That was the scariest bit. Something you thought was solid..."
Realising this symbolism isn't subtle enough, he continues. "It feels like I've been underwater my whole life..."
News of the baby was "like I could feel the sun on my face and I was breathing for the first time."
Frankly, I preferred him when he was kicking people's heads in.
STILL in soppy symbolism mode, Dennis tells Phil about an arcade game he used to play ("bit of a girl's game really"), where success was rewarded in a star that earned you a replay.
"All my life I've been looking for a real star. You had it once and you let it go, so I guess I'm the one who gets another chance at life."
Phil does his Iago number to Dennis's Othello, whispering away, winding Dennis up until he starts doing his old Sal Mineo psycho act: his face leaning slightly to one side, eyes bulging, slamming vodkas, talking in angst-ridden parables.
"How do you know when the journey's over, Dot?"
Mildly psychotic, Dennis goes over to Johnny and smashes his face in.
Sadly, not only does Johnny survive, he arranges for Dennis to be shanked.
And so in a week of (mostly excellent) old skool-style EastEnders Christmas episodes, the show has got rid of four characters.
Alfie and Nana, we're well rid of. Kat and Dennis, I'm not so sure. I'd trade either of those for all of the Millers, the Beales, the Slaters (minus Stacey) and those Black & White Minstrels, Juley and Gus.
Last night, the new Dennis, Deano Wicks, pitched up.
Yet another graduate from the EastEnders school of grubby street urchins, Deano's first contribution was to halfinch flowers left for Dennis. Luvverly!
Suddenly everyone loved Dennis even though he had been a violent little psychopath/whingeing baby when he was alive.
Sharon thus takes the lead in the Walford grieving stakes, having had her father and her husband both murdered in only a few months.
"It's not the place that's a problem," Phil told Peggy Philosophically.
"It's the people who live here."
Discuss.