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As a few of you know, I am soon to be a proud first time father :)
Can anyone let me know what I should be expected to do is assisting my wife as well as whats important in the first few weeks. I really have no clue!
~charlie-lou~
23-12-2005, 00:58
:o Congrats Norman!
Don't take it personally if she's a bit snappy with you the first few days after the baby is born, she's likely to be very emotional as I'm sure you know so be nice!
And also by the way, if she has stitches, she's likely to be even more snappy (judging by my best friend's mother who had her baby Hugo a few days back :) ) so have something comfy for her to sit on. My Mum said she used a blown up rubber ring. I was ROTFL but according to other people it really is a big help. :)
Basically when she wants you around to be with her and help her and the baby, be there and when she wants you to get stuffed, do it!
Just be the most amazingly lovely Daddy that we all want. :)
You're making me broody Norman lol, can't wait till I'm old enough to have kids! :love:
angelblue
23-12-2005, 01:01
awwww i didnt know congrulation NB i am sure you are going to make a great dad :cheer:
I
CrazyLea
23-12-2005, 01:02
this isnt advice.....but.... i just wanted to say congratulations on the baby :) i'm sure you'll be a great dad :)
willsmummy
23-12-2005, 01:11
Congatulations!!!!! I'll probably ramble, as babies are my fave subject!
All I'd say is be on hand to provide chocolate, magazines and cups of tea!!!! Also, be prepared to give your wife one night off a week to take over feeds (not easy if she's breastfeeding)
There are other ways you can help too, such as being in charge of baby's bathtime. My husband has doen this since day 1. My sone is now one, and i have bathed him about 5 times overall. My hub loves the time with William whan he gets home from work, and I get a break when I ineviatbly have a cup of tea and collapse on the sofa!
Another thing I would suggest is that in the first few days, keep visitors to a minimum. We had loads of people streaming in and out, and I just wanted them all to sod off and leave me alone to cry (which is what all new mothers do alot of!!) and eat chocolate. Although if anyone offers to help in whatever way, be it taking out the rubbish, doing the washing up or taking the baby out while you both collapse in a heap DON'T REFUSE!!!!!!
Also encourage her to get out of the house lots, even if its for a wlak down the shop, as there's nothing worse than being stuck indoors with a fractious baby!
And, be prepared to be called all names under the sun while she's in labour! Just smile sweetly and mop her brow!
Above all, just be you.
Good luck with the new arrival. How long have you got to go?
aaawww congrats!!!!
willsmummy has hit the nail on the head!!!!!
i ould say one of the modt important things is to keep the visitors to a minimum, when i had niam i barely had a moment to myself there was always someone coming round and all i wanted was to be on my own!!! i was back from the hospital for abot 5 mins then the first visitor was there!!!
and when she is in labour (this is advice from my boyfriend) stay up the head end!!!
Congrats NB.I agree with all the advise given,help when needed,disappear when you are not.we do get a bit grumpy after the birth,its the hormones you know, You will both be showing the baby lots of love etc, but don't forget to have some time for you and your partner, as baby can take over,she will need to know how much she is loved as well.
Congrats NB - that is fab news.
My advice would be all of the above and dont take anything personally for a while after - whether its being shouted at, snapped at, crying for no reason on the sofa - hormones are horrible things which make us unpredictable, especially after childbirth.
Be a good listener for your wife - she probably wont want answers to anything, just a good ear to rave at, take your lead from her. And above all - dont be thinking about sex again for while - nowt worse than a hubby wanting passion a) very soon after childbirth and b) when your knackered and emotional.... the pressures of first time parenting are bad enough - just have lots of cuddles :D
The very main thing though - enjoy your baby - he/she will grow up faster than you can possibly imagine. Oh and lastly - you wont break him/her so dont panic when you hold him/her etc
PS - Do make time for just you and your wife too like Hazey said - its easy to forget to have time just yourselves with a baby about. When is arrival expected?? Hope it all goes well.....
Awwwwwww I didn't know congrats NB!!!! :wub: x
As a few of you know, I am soon to be a proud first time father :)
Can anyone let me know what I should be expected to do is assisting my wife as well as whats important in the first few weeks. I really have no clue!
congrats.how long until the big day?
twinkle_eyes83
23-12-2005, 11:36
Awwwwwww I didn't know congrats NB my advice would be to be there as and when she needs you and i had my partner going to the shops late at night as i was on and of cravings be on stand by for that hope this helps
Advice for first-time dads in those first weeks.
Much of the information available on pregnancy and birth centres around the female partner and her, and the baby's, needs as they jointly move into their parent and child relationship. But dads need reassurance too.
Take part in your own bonding process
Share in the cuddling immediately after birth, along with your partner. You may even have more of an opportunity to do so, while your partner delivers the placenta or receives stitching. Don't worry if you feel completely unprepared for this event, or that your baby will reject you — your voice will probably already be familiar from baby's days in the womb.
Try not to feel that you're "on the outside"
In the beginning it may feel as though your partner has more of a role in caring for your new child, and especially if she is breastfeeding. But being part of the new family unit means being a team: your role in looking after the house, any pets and fielding all those telephone calls when your partner is trying to get some sleep is just as important to the family unit as feeding the new baby.
You may feel that you're more part of the family unit if you get involved from the very beginning — attend antenatal classes, try to be at the birth, learn how to change a nappy. As well as helping your partner, it will help you to feel part of the parenthood process.
Sex
Don't forget that your partner needs hugs too — give them and you'll probably get them back! This doesn't necessarily mean that full-blown sex is on the agenda straight away. You will both probably have to wait until the dust has settled somewhat. Helen, mother of two-year-old Lucy, says, "Sex was completely off the agenda for ages. Even once the caesarian scars had healed and Lucy managed to stop crying for more than two hours at a time, I still felt completely unsexy. It's even difficult to find a position that's comfortable when your boobs are full of milk and about to leak all over the bed!"
And it's not just mums who can feel that way. Although men don't have the physical battle scars to heal, they often have the mental ones — the transition from man to dad can often leave men feeling curiously asexual. Some men find that the birthing process temporarily turns them off their partners. As with many of these early feelings, this phase often passes once sleep is restored and a new family equilibrium is gained. Counselling should be sought if the negative feelings persist.
Create your own routine
As the new family gets used to each other, dads often find that they have their own routine. Your partner, in time, may find that it’s easier to express breast milk using a pump — this allows you to be able to give your baby his or her feeds, or to use bottle formula. Many working dads like to give their babies their evening bath each night, as a way of feeling close to them and having some fun time together.
You may feel sad, too
Dads are also liable to get a dose of the "baby blues", despite not physically giving birth themselves. Some studies have shown that male partners experience a surge of female hormones around the time that their babies are born, and what goes up must come down. Not only that, but the responsibility of financially providing for a young and growing family can be quite overwhelming — and even in this day and age this largely falls to the father. Your relationship with your partner is in the process of changing, and you're so tired you wish that the bed would swallow you up whole.
If you feel down, try to eat as well as possible and take regular exercise — this will also help to manage feelings of fatigue. If your feelings continue to be down over a period of time, it's a good idea to get professional help. Support networks
Just as friends in similar situations can be a great help for new mothers, the same can be said for fathers. Finding a support network, from friends or antenatal classes, can make you feel reassured and provide you with a learning forum about how you can do things with your partner and new child. You may find that you become closer to your own parents, as a better understanding of their complete role in your life is gained.
whens baby due and congrats again you will make a good dad:cheer:
.:SpIcYsPy:.
23-12-2005, 12:04
Omg!! I never knew that!! Cool!! Congratulations to you and your wife!! Im sure you will make a fab father!! :clap:
:cheer: Yay!! :D...
congrats.how long until the big day?
Not long - last week in Feb!
.:SpIcYsPy:.
23-12-2005, 12:30
OH MY GOD!! :eek: Really?! + You only told us now!! *sigh*... :p
lollymay
23-12-2005, 12:35
awwww congratulations to you
Just dont do what my dad did to my mum. He thought it would be really helpfull to cool her forehead down with a damp towel. He covered my mum in water, she whacked him, and he ended up in A&E with a broken nose!!!!!!!!!!!! :rotfl:
Congratulations though!!
Not long - last week in Feb!
Awwww I am going to see guys and dolls in the last week of february! That must be a sign!!! :p
You'll make a fabby daddy! x
.:SpIcYsPy:.
23-12-2005, 15:00
Just dont do what my dad did to my mum. He thought it would be really helpfull to cool her forehead down with a damp towel. He covered my mum in water, she whacked him, and he ended up in A&E with a broken nose!!!!!!!!!!!! :rotfl:
Lmao!! :rotfl: Oh god... :lol:
I dont think it was that funny at the time!!!!! :rotfl:
Chloe-Elise
23-12-2005, 17:41
Congrats NB :D
samantha nixon
23-12-2005, 20:03
ah congratulations nb and youve not got long to wait
As a few of you know, I am soon to be a proud first time father :)
Can anyone let me know what I should be expected to do is assisting my wife as well as whats important in the first few weeks. I really have no clue!
aww congrats NB
just be there for her, and remember the mood swings dont last forever!!! your job as expectant father is to support and to go out any time of the night when she has a very wierd craving even if you have to travel miles!
when baby due??
the_watts_rule
24-12-2005, 09:18
Congrats NB!
does this now mean you are willing to change the nappies now???? :P
Spelling Fairy
24-12-2005, 20:23
Congratulations Norman Bates!
does this now mean you are willing to change the nappies now???? :P
No effing way! I might change the one just to prove I can do it, but after that ..
No effing way! I might change the one just to prove I can do it, but after that ..
aww i bet you do change em. your wife will make you i bet
.:SpIcYsPy:.
28-12-2005, 21:58
Oh go on NB :p Make it 2 times :rotfl:...
aww i bet you do change em. your wife will make you i bet
Nah, got plenty of relatives nearby that will be willing to do it
Nah, got plenty of relatives nearby that will be willing to do it
LOL i used to love going to my mums id walk in the door say here you are your grandson wants his nany and then sit on my butt drinking tea and watching tv for hours!! mum would bath him for me and cuddle himand chnage nappies bless her she loved doing it.
my hubby hasn't changed liam's nappy yet (though I do use cotton bottoms) and he is 4 weeks old now - he will soon though mark my words lol
Whats a good pram to get?
I have a 2 in 1, which is great as it lasts longer than a normal pram, and I also have a maclaren stroller, which is better for when they are bigger and if you use public transport. A lot depends on if you are going to use public transport a lot or not, as pram chassis' are rather large...
Not public transport, mainly cars. Looking at getting one that can be used as a car child seat as well.
You can get really good ones that you buy the chassis and then add on the carrycot, or car seat etc. They can work out expensive initially sometimes but are a great idea. I am reusing mine from my 3 yr old, otherwise I would have looked at ones like that - you dont disturb the baby then, transfering from car to pram...
Looks like a trip to mothercare/mamas & papas this weekend
I try and go to smaller outlets rather than mothercare - I feel they have too much of a monopoly on the sale of baby items....Are you going to use reusable nappies or disposables?? Or have you not decided?
I try and go to smaller outlets rather than mothercare - I feel they have too much of a monopoly on the sale of baby items....Are you going to use reusable nappies or disposables?? Or have you not decided?
This is new territory!
.:SpIcYsPy:.
29-12-2005, 12:02
Looks like a trip to mothercare/mamas & papas this weekend
Try Toys R Us too... that's where mum and dad bought my little brothers car seat from... they do prams and stuff too :)
This is new territory!lol - I use cotton bottoms during the day and a disposable at night - i would recommend them as they work out cheaper and are extremely easy to use......any advice needed, give me a shout - I used them on both my 3 yr old and liam now too
Try Toys R Us too... that's where mum and dad bought my little brothers car seat from... they do prams and stuff too :)
thats where i got all connors pushchairs car seats from they are brillaint and have great deals baragins sometimes
Whats a good pram to get?
i love my pram its a bebe confort trophy chassis. windoo carrycot. and opera seat unit and it is fab!!!
i bought it from a place called nippers, not sure where there shops are though!!
i had mamas & papas prams for the boys with car seat and then changed to a maclaren buggy when they got older and with shannon now i to get a double buggy(one seat in front of the other though not side by side) with a car seat that fits on top also which is very useful so if they are asleep you dont have to wake then by getting them out of pram,you can get bases for them too so theyy are sturdy when in your car
make sure you get a baby seat too nb,ive got a great one from argos which is fisherprice,it changes in to 3 stages for the different ages etc,it rocks and vibrates which always sends her off to sleep,also has a hanging bar with toys coming down.it was £40 but worth it.
This is new territory!
just thought of something else too,as well as a pushchair its always worth getting a carrier too
i am from the pram brigade, i am really not a huge fan of car seat buggy things but we all have our preferences, you have to get something that will fit in to your life and car!!!
papoose things are really good, i got one free when i got my pram
also i had a swing for niamh it was a total godsend, very similar to the vibrating seat that chance mentioned
i loved the look of the swing seat but knowing my 2nd son shannon would have been swung out of it
i know what you mean!!! luckily my other one is a bit older and resisted the temptation!!! and to be honest they do take up a lot of space!!!
do they last long? the chair looks alot smaller then just a normal one
I'm looking at getting one of the swing seats for liam - he hates the bouncy chair he has (saved from Ci so no waste of money there) and doesnt like his playmat on the floor yet, so thought we would get one of them, as he likes being raised slightly so he can see what is going on.
i think it goes up to 11kg
niamh loved it as it layed down and sat up we also used it as a highchair until we got her one
I'm looking at getting one of the swing seats for liam - he hates the bouncy chair he has (saved from Ci so no waste of money there) and doesnt like his playmat on the floor yet, so thought we would get one of them, as he likes being raised slightly so he can see what is going on.
the vibrating fisher price one i got from argos is brill em's,it is 3 different stages for as they get bigger,shannon doesent like her crib/moses basket so this chair lays flat so i use it like that at night and upright in the day,she has a good nose around lol
Only a few more weeks left now. Bet your all excited!! Hope everything goes ok x x
willsmummy
05-02-2006, 08:35
Yes, good luck. It'll be lovely, but you won't know what's hit you!!!!!!!!!!
good lucks nb,bet you will have a boy!!
JustJodi
05-02-2006, 11:09
NB I knew you were going to be a first time daddy, but did not realize it was due this month, congratulations sweetie, you are going to be a super dad. My son was terrified being a dad the first time, but now he spends tons and tons of time with him . He says THE BOY requireds alot of attention and he comes in two volumes QUIET AND SUPER SONIC LOUD,, so thats something you have to look forward to,, You and your wife will no longer be just a couple but a family, you have tons of moms on your forum ( and a grandma) to help you thru when ever you need us... :wub:
twinkle_eyes83
05-02-2006, 22:27
good luck it will soon be here
Chloe O'brien
05-02-2006, 22:34
NB i can't believe the baby is due this months i hope your wife is well. This baby will have so many aunties and uncles from SB good luck xxx
Just a thought NB - I would strongly advise in investing in Grobags for your baby instead of blankets etc. I have used them with both my youngest and they are brilliant. No chance of baby getting cold and very safe - safer than blankets in fact. Invest in two for each stage and you will find the night waking stops fairly quick too. Liam is 10 weeks now and he has started going from 9-7am. I put him in his grobag and it is now a signal to him, that this is settle down time (and time for me to come on here :rotfl: )
JustJodi
12-02-2006, 11:11
Just a thought NB - I would strongly advise in investing in Grobags for your baby instead of blankets etc. I have used them with both my youngest and they are brilliant. No chance of baby getting cold and very safe - safer than blankets in fact. Invest in two for each stage and you will find the night waking stops fairly quick too. Liam is 10 weeks now and he has started going from 9-7am. I put him in his grobag and it is now a signal to him, that this is settle down time (and time for me to come on here :rotfl: )
My DIL never saw a grobag/sleep bag until I sent hr one, she said it is a blessing cos Ben was a kick the covers off type of kid, with this sleep bag he stays nice and toasty and , no worries if the blankie slips off of him.
Ben has 6 of them in all different sizes,, You can even get them with long sleeves too...
Keep us posted on the up coming blessed event NB :wub:
My DIL never saw a grobag/sleep bag until I sent hr one, she said it is a blessing cos Ben was a kick the covers off type of kid, with this sleep bag he stays nice and toasty and , no worries if the blankie slips off of him.
Ben has 6 of them in all different sizes,, You can even get them with long sleeves too...
Keep us posted on the up coming blessed event NB :wub: Exactly Jodi - most babies are aren't they, plus it also keeps them in their cot for longer because they can't get their legs over the bars when they are in their grobag! :cheer:
Hope everything is going well NB - look forward to hearing news of your happy event :D
Exactly Jodi - most babies are aren't they, plus it also keeps them in their cot for longer because they can't get their legs over the bars when they are in their grobag! :cheer:
Hope everything is going well NB - look forward to hearing news of your happy event :D
Not long to go now - keep tuned ...
good luck NB
cant wait to hear the news
willsmummy
12-02-2006, 12:19
Not long to go now - keep tuned ...
Fingers crossed you won't have to wait too much longer after the due date!!!!!
Good luck-Look forward to hearing your news soon! :)
xStephaniex
14-02-2006, 11:29
congratulations NB and good luck for the future :p !!!!!!!
If visitors do insist on coming round they usually ask if they can bring anything. Tell them tea, coffee, sugar and milk. With everyone wanting to be nosey...err i mean visit you, you'll be making coffee till easter and it will cost you a fortune.
JustJodi
14-02-2006, 22:02
If visitors do insist on coming round they usually ask if they can bring anything. Tell them tea, coffee, sugar and milk. With everyone wanting to be nosey...err i mean visit you, you'll be making coffee till easter and it will cost you a fortune.
:)
And biscuits, scones, cakes,pies, any thing that will save time and headaches !:)
:)
And biscuits, scones, cakes,pies, any thing that will save time and headaches !:)
and give mummy a huge sugar rush :D
I am getting more sleepless nights and the baby hasn't even arrived yet!
JustJodi
14-02-2006, 22:21
I am getting more sleepless nights and the baby hasn't even arrived yet!
Oh sweetie you are acting normal, my sons dad couldnt sleep either, just to keep him out of my hair, i made him go re pack my hospital bag, and count nappies in the nursery just so i could get a little shuteye :rotfl: Are you having this baby at home or in the hospital :searchme:
In this hospital. I'll be cutting the cord though
In this hospital. I'll be cutting the cord thoughJust to warn you NB - the scissors used for cord cutting are blunt, so generally you have to, being frank, hack at it a bit - my hubby cut all of our boys' cords but hated that bit - forewarned is forearmed as they say :D
Just to warn you NB - the scissors used for cord cutting are blunt, so generally you have to, being frank, hack at it a bit - my hubby cut all of our boys' cords but hated that bit - forewarned is forearmed as they say :D
I'll take my own sterile scissors in that case!
I'll take my own sterile scissors in that case!
:rotfl: im pretty sure they wont let you use them!
jodi is right though,i remember seeing my other half cutting the cords and it takes a while to cut through,looked like he was really hacking at it.
JustJodi
15-02-2006, 00:39
:rotfl: im pretty sure they wont let you use them!
jodi is right though,i remember seeing my other half cutting the cords and it takes a while to cut through,looked like he was really hacking at it.
its pretty much like trying to cut a thick rubber hose with a pair of plastic scissors. If u sneak in some super sharp sterile scissors hide em in your "hospital" gown ( ok ok I am bad influence LOL ):rotfl:
good luck NB hope all goes well and you enjoy Fatherhood
The baby is now almost a week overdue :(
The hospitals calculation was 27/02
My wife's was 01/03
And the midwifes initial calculation was 05/03 (today)
The online calculators point to a date between the 27/02 and 01/03
The baby is now almost a week overdue :(
The hospitals calculation was 27/02
My wife's was 01/03
And the midwifes initial calculation was 05/03 (today)
The online calculators point to a date between the 27/02 and 01/03You could have another week yet then!!! They generally induce at 10days over though, so your baby will soon be here!
I got all excited then - thought it was news that your baby had arrived :rotfl:
The normal range is 2 weeks each side of the due date.
It cannot be long now - the baby will be with you both sometime soon - just keep eating curry, lol
We've tried almost everything there is. Had a real hot curry last two nights running. Tried reflexology, spleen 6 pressure point etc.
My wife personally thinks the baby is a lazy sod like me, whereas I think he takes after her and just keeps on pressing the snooze button.
I drank Norfolk Punch, a bottle of that got Ciaran started off
Generally though, they'll only arrive when they are ready to. Have the midwives said anything about induction yet?? Down here, they induce at 10 days (was 14 days 3 1/2 yrs ago) but will do a membrane sweep prior to that to see if that will get labour started..
JustJodi
05-03-2006, 14:58
The baby is now almost a week overdue :(
The hospitals calculation was 27/02
My wife's was 01/03
And the midwifes initial calculation was 05/03 (today)
The online calculators point to a date between the 27/02 and 01/03
Oh sweetie, as my gramma said, when the kid is good and ready.. it will make its appearance.. once that happens,, kiss 8 hours of sleep good bye:rotfl: Remember your baby is going to have HUNDREDS of Aunties :-):wub:
Norman, In a few weeks time when you are having sleepless nights you will wish the child had stayed where it was :) Enjoy the peace and quiet It will arrive soon enogh and as long as its healthy dont worry about the delay
twinkle_eyes83
05-03-2006, 16:38
they say pineapple works aswell not that it did anything for me but good lick your baby will soon be here
i took loads of raspberry leaf tea, and moved 3 packs of laminate flooring!!! naimh popped out that night!!!
According to the midwife the baby is now 3/5ths ready. Last week it was 4/5ths. I think they have to be 2/5ths ready?
According to the midwife the baby is now 3/5ths ready. Last week it was 4/5ths. I think they have to be 2/5ths ready?
My goodness - what does this mean?
I though babies liked to be 5/5th ready before they were born - 100%, lol
JustJodi
06-03-2006, 13:36
According to the midwife the baby is now 3/5ths ready. Last week it was 4/5ths. I think they have to be 2/5ths ready?
I am totally confused :confused: :confused: Once the bun is in the oven and is baked its done :p
Be patient the little one will soon be emerging when he/she is good and ready:)
According to the midwife the baby is now 3/5ths ready. Last week it was 4/5ths. I think they have to be 2/5ths ready?Yep, ur right NB - 2/5ths is classed as engaged, so labour is more likely to start once the babies head is engaged, although some babies don't engage until labour has actually started .... But sounds like the baby is moving in the right direction - good luck :D
Yep, ur right NB - 2/5ths is classed as engaged, so labour is more likely to start once the babies head is engaged, although some babies don't engage until labour has actually started .... But sounds like the baby is moving in the right direction - good luck :D
Emz - I am glad you knew that one - I was really confused!
Emz - I am glad you knew that one - I was really confused!lol - thats ok. Only remembered from having liam so recently, otherwise i would have been confused aswell. They divide the baby's head into 5ths and then rate it on how much can be felt above the pelvis, so 4/5ths is they can feel almost the entire head, 2/5ths pretty much just the jaw. I made sure they explained it to me again when i was expecting liam...
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