View Full Version : Bushell on the Box EE
Like him or loathe him - He is very witty
Sunday People
COP THIS FOR COBBLERS!
GOOD old EastEnders, they certainly know how to lift the spirits at Christmas time.
Mental illness, prison torment, shouting and screaming, unwelcome images of Frank Butcher konging his Whopper...
And you thought torture had been abolished. Sit through this week's episodes in one go, and you wouldn't know whether to hang the holly or hang yourself. What are they going to do for an encore? Bump off Nana? Actually, yes! The poor old dear pops her clogs next Friday. Sad, but at least it puts an end to all that terrible suffering. Not hers, ours.
The carnival of trauma kicked off with Stacey's mad, maudlin mum moaning at her daughter in a hovel straight out of A Life Of Grime.
The never-seen Janine was going on trial for murder. Killer Chrissie was banged up. And the ghost of cobblers past returned with his familiar cry of "Paaaat". Where there's a pat, there's a moo and Frank was out to woo her back into bed. Before long he was blubbing in the toilets of a swanky wine bar, looking "like a walrus with a tan" according to a braying yuppie. (Ridiculous, walruses have small ears.)
Pat was touched. But mercifully this happened off camera.
She was excited by the view from Frank's hotel window, although I understand several Peeping Toms buzzed up and asked them to draw the curtains. "You look good," said Frank, with a straight face. (Memo to Specsavers: There's your next ad campaign.)
And lo, an hour before Walking With Monsters we were waking with them...
Why? Cos Frank had to stop Pat testifying against Janine. He was witness-nobbling, only the "l" was silent.
Even the Keystone Cops wouldn't let a major witness be got at by the father of the accused, but the producers probably thought we'd be laughing too much at the comedy relief (Jake acting hard) to notice.
ALL of this nonsense was interspersed with the relentless misery of Chrissie going spare, Jean going nuts, and Stacey slagging off all-comers for not knowing what "bi-polar" is.
Possibly cos most people still know it as manic depression.
Human life is loaded with sadness of course, but great popular drama knows how to leaven the tears with laughter. Not Enders, with its dreary social-worker mentality and plots lifted from the Samaritans' log book. You'd find more fun in Fallujah.
And there's another murder to come just after Christmas. Happy New Year? I wouldn't bank on it.
-TOP three ways to make EastEnders even more depressing: 3) A Leonard Cohen sound track. 2) An influx of Eastern European thugs, like in the real East End. 1) Film them all Christmas shopping.
This should either be in spoilers or have a spoiler warning because it reveals something that happens next week.
This should either be in spoilers or have a spoiler warning because it reveals something that happens next week.
If you are reffering to the death of Nana Moon. I think the world and his wife know she dies next week :)
I don't find Bushell to be witty. I find him to be totally talentless, depending on nasty, cruel comments usually about physical appearances to make up for his lack of ability.
This man is obviously a failed performer who is extremely bitter and it shows.
If you are reffering to the death of Nana Moon. I think the world and his wife know she dies next week :)
Some people may not if they don't read TV mags or spoiler boards etc.
I don't find Bushell to be witty. I find him to be totally talentless, depending on nasty, cruel comments usually about physical appearances to make up for his lack of ability.
This man is obviously a failed performer who is extremely bitter and it shows.
You are entitled to your opinion of course. I enjoy reading his articles and Im sure many others do too or he would be out of a job long ago :)
soapsforever
11-12-2005, 10:57
You are entitled to your opinion of course. I enjoy reading his articles and Im sure many others do too or he would be out of a job long ago :)
I agree and a lot of what he says is true even though he is accasionally a bit brutal. EE does promise us a miserable Christmas and New Year and those who choose to watch it may well end up feeling suicidal!
Jessie Wallace
11-12-2005, 11:29
Well if he thinks he is just a bleeding good writer, why don't he go and write for Eastenders, and then we could watch it really go down hill!
Well if he thinks he is just a bleeding good writer, why don't he go and write for Eastenders, and then we could watch it really go down hill!
Lets face it he couldnt be any worse than some of them (Sarah Phelps excluded)
Jessie Wallace
11-12-2005, 14:58
Well he certainly would be better, he won't beable to come up with a decent story line if it came and smacked him in the head. But then let face it, he is a fat old man, who sit's on his bum all day trying to come up with a load of rubbish to write about a programme that he don't like(I'm yet to work out why he even watches it, being as he never has anything good to say about anything or anyone on it!) The only good thing he would be a good critic for is sofa, as that's what he spend most of his time sitting on.
Richie_lecturer
11-12-2005, 21:23
Mr Bushell is a ----- but I agree with a reasonable amount of what he said there. Now how do you work that one out folks? :searchme:
crazy_purple
11-12-2005, 21:27
Pat was touched. But mercifully this happened off camera.
:lol:
lmao good one bushell :cheer:
lmao good one bushell :cheer:
If you enjoyed that then you will enjoy this Sunday Mirror (http://www.sundaymirror.co.uk/showbiz/kevinosullivan/) :)
Chris_2k11
11-12-2005, 21:47
If you enjoyed that then you will enjoy this Sunday Mirror (http://www.sundaymirror.co.uk/showbiz/kevinosullivan/) :)Lmao! :rotfl: That's hilarious! :rotfl: Especially loved this bit:
"Hello babe," he added as I scanned the screen in search of a pretty young woman who might warrant such a greeting. :lol:
If you enjoyed that then you will enjoy this Sunday Mirror (http://www.sundaymirror.co.uk/showbiz/kevinosullivan/) :)
cheers alan,thought it was just me who was bored to tears this week,i did house work whilst popping in and out of the room,to be honest te dusting was more interesting.come on then guys,have a go.....
cheers alan,thought it was just me who was bored to tears this week,i did house work whilst popping in and out of the room,to be honest te dusting was more interesting.come on then guys,have a go.....
Well as you know I am opinionated :p but really this weeks episodes were nothing special. In my opinion the return of Frank was pointless. For goodnes sake the man has had more returns than the black jacket with the flickering eyelids and hair extensions. :crying:
bring grant back again...
bring grant back again...
nnnnnoooooooooo bring back Janine
Chris_2k11
11-12-2005, 22:27
nnnnnoooooooooo bring back JanineAgree with that one!
Mr Humphries
11-12-2005, 22:30
Old Gary is very rude but it was very funny about frank and Paaaaaaaaat. LoL
Old Gary is very rude but it was very funny about frank and Paaaaaaaaat. LoL
Not as rude as the guy on the Sunday Mirror :rotfl:
Jessie Wallace
11-12-2005, 22:37
noooo, don't bring back either of them, i hate it when old charactrs are brought back, in a rubbish attempt to improve the show, it don't work.
noooo, don't bring back either of them, i hate it when old charactrs are brought back, in a rubbish attempt to improve the show, it don't work.
Lets see if we take out all the returnees the cast would be very small indeed
Bye bye to Gwant, Fill, Peggy, Sharon, Kat, Frank, Lil Mo, Sam Mitchell (well at least she came back with a new head), the beale Brats Den again!!!!! I could go on :rotfl:
Jessie Wallace
11-12-2005, 22:49
Kat and lil Mo were maternity leave it's different. but the rest escpecially the mitchells can leve, and i'll have one great big blooming party.
Kat and lil Mo were maternity leave it's different. but the rest escpecially the mitchells can leve, and i'll have one great big blooming party.
Pleasse invite me espcially when the poison dwarf goes :)
Jessie Wallace
11-12-2005, 23:03
You will be the first on the list Alan!
nnnnnoooooooooo bring back Janine
bring back anyone to help save this show....
Jessie Wallace
11-12-2005, 23:08
nooooooo
Jessie Wallace
11-12-2005, 23:28
please don't bring anyone back, it's really annoying. If they can find talent like Lacey, they can find some more, we don't need old charcters back. (real life Maternity leave is different!)
grant was great though and really boosted the ratings
Jessie Wallace
11-12-2005, 23:37
but his character is an idiot! Peggy and her gob, Grunt, and Mr Bulldog! no thanks, time for ironing when they on screen.
the mitchells are excellent but they are at there best when grsnt is with them
Jessie Wallace
11-12-2005, 23:46
but i can't stand the mitchells.
Ok for Grant provided they get rid of the Beetroot Dogger
Jessie Wallace
11-12-2005, 23:51
lol
Mr Humphries
12-12-2005, 00:40
The Mitchells would be far better if we had not had years and years of over-kill on Phil! Every storyline he has now is so much hard work and awful to watch
Ok for Grant provided they get rid of the Beetroot Dogger
lmao yeah id swap grant for phil
The Daily Mirror's Jim Shelley (http://www.mirror.co.uk/tvandfilm/shelleyvision/) was none to fond of EE either.
Another funny and witty review
FRANKLY, FINGS CAN'T GET WORSE
13 December 2005
ELLO, readers. This, as you know, is the obligatory form of greeting where EastEnders is concerned.
After Dirty Den ("Ello, Princess") and Grant Mitchell ("Ello, Mum"), this week it was the turn of Frank "Follow The Bear" Butcher to return to the series after several previous departures - to Spain and what he called "Maaaaaanchester" among them.
"Ello, babe," he grinned, stepping out of the shadows to torment "Paaaaaaaaaaat" and save his daughter "Juneeeeeeeen" - one of several murderers to have lived in Albert Square recently.
Needless to say, it took a matter of, ooh, half an episode before Pat had gone back to his hotel room and fallen for Frank's supposedly legendary, lovable charm ("I love you, you barmy old 'orse!" he told her at one point).
"If I don't get out of here, I know what's going to happen," Pat cooed, looking like some sort of cornered yeti.
"Then let it happen," Frank leered, flashing his top teeth in that way he has that he thinks makes him look like Humphrey Bogart, but makes him look more like a rat in a hat.
"DON'T LET IT HAPPEN," we screamed. To no avail.
They had a few rows for old times' sake ("She's a stone-hearted killer!" "She is not!!" "She IS!!!"), which after a while even they found tiresome.
"Let's go somewhere quiet," Pat implored, although wherever they went it wasn't quiet for very long.
Amazingly, the Pat 'n' Frank storyline was positively uplifting compared to the rest of the EastEnders' week, which may well have been the most unremittingly miserable in the series' wretched history.
Characters like Stacey's miserable "best friend", Alfie's dying, senile gran Ba-Nana Moon and Laura's grieving muvver, all paled into insignificance compared to Stacey Slater's mum.
Jean had "stopped taking her medication" - a decision which had led her to board herself indoors, stop eating and, above all, over-act horribly.
One (unprovoked, sobbing) chip-eating frenzy saw her cry, "This is torture!" And it wasn't much better for her. It was comically bleak and unrelenting - an eerie, unwanted echo of Michael the market manager's miserable missus Susan.
"You're a bit quiet, Mum," Stacey chirped as her muvver sat there rocking backwards and forwards, drooling and tearing her hair out in clumps.
"You ruined my body," Jean droned to poor Stacey, sounding like the Pythons' Mrs Yeti Goose Creature.
"You ruined my body. The PAIN I went through bringing you into the world. The agony! And the years after - with you, hanging off me, draining me... You torture me just by breathing the same air."
Yeah, but APART from that you liked her, right?
OF course, we knew somefing bad was going to happen as soon as Stacey got out the travel brochures and started making "one day" speeches that were horribly reminiscent of Demi's speeches to her (now dead) junkie boyfriend.
When her mother finally, inexplicably, did go out, she went in fancy dress - her costume being that of a prostitute, as is traditional for all the female characters in Walford.
Jean headed off first for the jungles of Walford and then to a railway line where a tragedy ensued - the tragedy being that she survived her suicide attempt.
The whole dismal, overwrought saga made Curly the Murderer's travails in her luxury sub-Bad Girls prison look almost cheerful. Certainly the prison laundry had more boxes of Persil and Ariel than Pauline's launderette.
In last night's episode, even Billy Mitchell was at it. "Any of you two got a gun?" he asked Gary and Minty (seconds after Minty had used the word "predicated").
"What do you want a gun for?" Gal asked.
"Cos I want to kill meself."
Let's hope Billy takes a few of them out with him, eh?
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