JustJodi
24-11-2005, 20:32
FOUND ON REAL HEADSTONES
>>
>> Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
>>
>> Born 1903-Died 1942
>> Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
>> car was on the way down. It was.
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
>>
>> Here lies an Atheist
>> All dressed up
>> And no place to go.
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> In a London, England cemetery:
>>
>> Here lies Ann Mann,
>> Who lived an old maid
>> But died an old Mann.
>> Dec. 8, ! 1767
>>
>> ****************************
>>
>> In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
>>
>> Anna Wallace:
>> The children of Israel wanted bread,
>> And the Lord sent them manna.
>> Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
>> And the Devil sent him Anna.
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
>>
>> Here lies Johnny Yeast.
>> Pardon me
>> For not rising.
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
>>
>> Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
>> Stepped on the gas
>> Instead of the brake
>>
>> ; **********************! ********
>>
>> In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
>>
>> Here lays The Kid.
>> We planted him raw.
>> He was quick on the trigger
>> But slow on the draw.
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> A lawyer's epitaph in England:
>>
>> Sir John Strange.
>> Here lies an honest lawyer,
>> And that is Strange.
>>
>> *****************************
>>
>> John Penny's epitaph in Wimborne, England, cemetery:
>>
>> Reader, if cash thou art
>> In want of any,
>> Dig 6 feet deep;
>> And thou wilt find a Penny.
>>
>> *****************************
>> Hartscombe, England:
>>
>> On the 22nd of June,
>> Jonathan Fiddle
>> Went out of tune.
>>
>> *****************************
>>
>> Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont
>>
>> Here lies the body of our Anna -
>> Done to death by a banana.
>> It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
>> But the skin of the thing that made her go.
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
>>
>> Under the sod and under the trees,
>> Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
>> He is not here, there's only the pod.
>> Pease shelled out and went to God
>>
>> ****************************
>>
>> In a cemetery in England:
>>
>> Remember man, as you walk by,
>> As you are now, so once was I.
>> As I am now, you soon will be.
>> Prepare yourself and follow me.
>>
>> To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
>>
>> To follow you I'll not consent
>> Until I know which way you went
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> Boot Hill, Tombstone, Arizona:
>> Here lies Lester Moore
>> One slug from a 44
>> No Les
>> No Moore
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
>>
>> Born 1903-Died 1942
>> Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
>> car was on the way down. It was.
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
>>
>> Here lies an Atheist
>> All dressed up
>> And no place to go.
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> In a London, England cemetery:
>>
>> Here lies Ann Mann,
>> Who lived an old maid
>> But died an old Mann.
>> Dec. 8, ! 1767
>>
>> ****************************
>>
>> In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
>>
>> Anna Wallace:
>> The children of Israel wanted bread,
>> And the Lord sent them manna.
>> Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
>> And the Devil sent him Anna.
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
>>
>> Here lies Johnny Yeast.
>> Pardon me
>> For not rising.
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
>>
>> Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
>> Stepped on the gas
>> Instead of the brake
>>
>> ; **********************! ********
>>
>> In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
>>
>> Here lays The Kid.
>> We planted him raw.
>> He was quick on the trigger
>> But slow on the draw.
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> A lawyer's epitaph in England:
>>
>> Sir John Strange.
>> Here lies an honest lawyer,
>> And that is Strange.
>>
>> *****************************
>>
>> John Penny's epitaph in Wimborne, England, cemetery:
>>
>> Reader, if cash thou art
>> In want of any,
>> Dig 6 feet deep;
>> And thou wilt find a Penny.
>>
>> *****************************
>> Hartscombe, England:
>>
>> On the 22nd of June,
>> Jonathan Fiddle
>> Went out of tune.
>>
>> *****************************
>>
>> Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont
>>
>> Here lies the body of our Anna -
>> Done to death by a banana.
>> It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
>> But the skin of the thing that made her go.
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
>>
>> Under the sod and under the trees,
>> Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
>> He is not here, there's only the pod.
>> Pease shelled out and went to God
>>
>> ****************************
>>
>> In a cemetery in England:
>>
>> Remember man, as you walk by,
>> As you are now, so once was I.
>> As I am now, you soon will be.
>> Prepare yourself and follow me.
>>
>> To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
>>
>> To follow you I'll not consent
>> Until I know which way you went
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> Boot Hill, Tombstone, Arizona:
>> Here lies Lester Moore
>> One slug from a 44
>> No Les
>> No Moore
>>
>>
>>