The Bird Flu warning ????

[JustJodi]

Bird Flu Symptoms
>
>
>
>CDC WARNING
>
>The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird
flu.
>
>If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment
>immediately:
>
>1. High fever
>
>2. Congestion
>
>3. Nausea
>
>4. Fatigue
>
>5. Aching in the joints
>
>6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield.:rolleyes:
>

[JustJodi]

A list of redneck computer terms

Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.

Bar code - Them's the fight'n rules down da local tavern.

Bug - The reason you is a giv'n for calling in sick.

Byte - What yer pit bull dun to cusin Jethro.

Cache - Needed when you go to da store.

Chip - Yer cusin's uncle's mother's boyfriend's name.

Terminal - Time to call da undertaker.

Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited.

Digital - The art of counting on your fingers.

Diskette - A female Disco dancer.

Hacker - Uncle Leroy after thirty years of smoking.

Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.

Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair.

Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.

Mac - Big Bob's favorite fast food.

Megahertz - How your head feels after seventeen beers.

Modem - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall.

Mouse pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live.

Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line.

Online - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test.

Rom - Where the pope lives.

Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.

Serial port - A red wine you drink with breakfast.

Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year.

Scsi - What you call your week-old underwear.

[JustJodi]

:cheer: The programmer's cheer:cheer:

Shift to the left, shift to the right!
Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!
:clap:

[JustJodi]

Flu Prevention


Mary, the church organist at Outer Ridge Lutheran Church, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

The pastor came to call on Mary one afternoon early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom. Imagine his shock and surprise. Imagine his curiosity! Surely Miss Mary had flipped or something!

When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange "floater," but soon it got the better of him, and he could resist no longer. "Miss Mary," he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" (pointing to the bowl).

"Oh, yes," Mary replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking downtown last fall and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know, I haven't had a cold all winter."

Keep this in mind in case of a shortage of flu shots again this year