Home alone

[Rain_]

My son, who is almost 12, currently goes to an after school club, as a single mum i find this a godsend, however, he has now asked for his own key to let himself into the house and will be alone from 4pm till 5pm when i get home. When i was his age i had my own key and was letting myself in but times have changed. Does anyone else have children this age or does anyone have views on this? Should i trust him? (he's a good boy and it's not him i don't trust it's other people) or should i keep him at after school club?
He's claiming most of his friends have their own key so he's getting peer pressure from school and at the moment i'm the worst mum in the world!!.

[Jojo]

My son is 12 and I have a key hidden in a combination lock box for occasions when I am going to be late home (from say, midwife or picking littley up from pre-school).

He is only on his own for 10-15 mins max, but is sensible and phones me when he walks in the door, to let me know that he is there (although, quite often he pops to the shop to spend the remainder of his dinner money, so I get home first lol) and this only happens maximum of twice a week.

I do know of other children that are home for 1/2 hour to an hour prior to their parents getting home. My son knows that when he gets home, if I am not here, then he is to phone me on my mobile, and to stay in on his own, without any mates and without answering the door/phone etc until I am home, or to let me know if he is going over one of his friends house before I get back.

I think you generally have to trust your own instincts about your child, and obviously check out the legalities of the situation too *runs away quickly to check*

[Rain_]

lol i do trust him and he phones me regularly anyways, but the legalities worry me

[lollymay]

ive had a door key since i was 12 because my mum is a single parent so she has to do the shopping and stuff in between her three jobs and after school is the only time that she can do it. im fine in the house and my mum gave my little brother a door key recently and hes only 11 just incase he gets home before me from school and so he can let himself in.

[Jojo]

lol i do trust him and he phones me regularly anyways, but the legalities worry meI've just seen this on the nspcc website:

Leaving Children at Home Alone
What the law says
There is no law that states the minimum age that a child can be left alone. However, it is an offence to leave a child alone when doing so puts him or her at risk.
How do you decide if you can safely leave a child alone?
There are many important things to consider before you decide to leave a child alone. These include:

The age of the child.
The child's level of maturity and understanding.
The place where child will be left.
How long the child will be left alone, and how often.
Whether or not there are any other children in the household.

For example, most parents would think it’s OK to leave a sixteen-year-old alone for the evening, but to leave them for a week would be unacceptable.

Many young children play outdoors with other children without a parent or carer being present. As they are unsupervised, they are 'alone', but most people would agree that this is an important part of growing up.

You are the best judge of your child’s level of maturity and responsibility.
A few other points to guide you
Never leave a baby or very young child alone at home, whether asleep or awake, even for a few minutes. It doesn’t take long for unsupervised young children or babies to injure themselves.
Most children under thirteen should not be left for more than a short period.
No child under sixteen should be left overnight.
If you do leave a child alone, remember:
If possible, leave a telephone number where you can be contacted, and be available to answer it immediately.
Talk to your child about keeping safe at home and point out the potential dangers. Tell them not to answer the door to strangers.
Give clear instructions about what to do if there’s an emergency. All children left alone should be able to phone the emergency services.
Leave a list of trusted people they can contact.
Put obvious dangers out of reach of children, e.g. medicines, chemicals, matches, etc...
Make sure that the child is happy about the arrangements and confident about being left.
Tell the child when you’ll be back, and make sure you’re back on time.
Talk to him or her about it afterwards.

Hope it helps (its certainly helped me) :D

[Kim]

I had a key at about that age.

[.:SpIcYsPy:.]

I got my own key last year.. when I was 12/13... I think you should give him a key as soon as 2 monthish past when they start high school. I find it much useful and had no problems. Tell him to keep it safe and not to show anyone his keyrings and such as it will be easier to identify. Trust him sicne he's a good boy :) He's old enough xx

[.:SpIcYsPy:.]

if I am not here, then he is to phone me on my mobile, and to stay in on his own, without any mates and without answering the door/phone etc until I am home, or to let me know if he is going over one of his friends house before I get back.
Normally someone is there in the house when I get home.. either way when I come home for lunch soemtimes my mum goes to do shopping. She trusts me when it comes to these sort of things. If I need something I phone her but otherwise I don't need to because she trusts me as I said before lol.

The bit I quoted happens to me to.. Im happy with this idea as I feel safe with this too :)

[Rain_]

Thanks JoJo there's a lot of useful info there, and thanks to everyone for their opinion. I think i'll trust him on a trial period but ask a neighbour to keep an eye out too.

[squillyfer]

I got my own key when i was about twelve. My dad worked till late and mum got home at five so me and my little sis were on our own about an hour and a half but we were always sensible. I think as long as you trusthim and make sure he knows what to do in an emergency then he should be fine

[Debs]

i had a key from when i was 13 and i used to let myself in and wait till mum came home from work.

[LUSHLOOKE69]

Thanks JoJo there's a lot of useful info there, and thanks to everyone for their opinion. I think i'll trust him on a trial period but ask a neighbour to keep an eye out too.I think thats a good idea as your little boy will know if theres anything wrong he can go to your neighbour

[Chloe-Elise]

I've had a door key since I was 12, my mum finds it really useful that I have my own key because she works a lot and shes a single mum. Me and my sister haven't had any problems with our keys or being in on our own. As long as your son knows what to do and is responsible,he'll be fine. :)

[Jojo]

Rain - I just found another website which is this one (http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/Templates/System/ListTopic.asp?NodeID=89616) - there is a lot of info on children and different legal aspects, some of which surprised me, but hopefully will help. At least it sets our minds at rest. My neighbours also have a key and keep an eye on my eldest to make sure that all is ok so this is an excellent back up to have. At least if there is a problem, he knows to go to them etc.

[Angeltigger]

i had my own key when i was that age- just as my family was so busy all the time.

[samantha nixon]

me and my sis have our own keys and we have done for a little while now as in the hols we stay at home and if we want to go out and stuff we answer the door if we know who they are