Jokes

[pinkles14]

A Married couple are driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per
hour
The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and
speaks in a clear voice:
I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce
The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases
her speed to 45mph.
The husband speaks again
I don't want you to try and talk me out of it, he says, because I've been
having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than
you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and
slowly increases the speed to 55 mph.
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.
Up to 60mph
I want the car, too," he continues...
65 mph.
And," he says, I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the
boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes
him nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice." No, I've got
everything I need," she says.
Oh, really," he inquires so what have you got?
Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife turns to him and
smiles.

"The airbag."
Moral of the Story: Women are clever bitches. Don't mess with them.

[pinkles14]

Whats six inches long two inches wide and drives women wild?

A Ten Pound Note

[~*~Leanne~*~]

lol

[Luna]

lmao they are brilliant

[.:SpIcYsPy:.]

Lmao!! :rotfl:

[Abi]

A man goes to the zoo

theres only one animal there


It wsas a Dog

A $hitzu

:p

[pinkles14]

How do you know santa's a man?
Cause He Turns Up Late, eats your food
Drinks your booze, empty's his sack
only comes once
Then *******'s off before you wake up

[pinkles14]

Chinese man rings his boss
Me no work me sick
Boss say's when im sick i ******* my wife try that
2 Hours later chinese man rings back me better now
you got a nice house..

[di marco]

lol those are great! :D

[JustJodi]

A Married couple are driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per
hour
The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and
speaks in a clear voice:
I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce
The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases
her speed to 45mph.
The husband speaks again
I don't want you to try and talk me out of it, he says, because I've been
having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than
you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and
slowly increases the speed to 55 mph.
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.
Up to 60mph
I want the car, too," he continues...
65 mph.
And," he says, I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the
boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes
him nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice." No, I've got
everything I need," she says.
Oh, really," he inquires so what have you got?
Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife turns to him and
smiles.

"The airbag."
Moral of the Story: Women are clever bitches. Don't mess with them.
yeeehawwwwwwwwwww gotta love us women !!!!:cheer:

[Chloe O'brien]

We women are wonderful creatures

[pinkles14]

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

[pinkles14]

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to
show it to you!"

[pinkles14]

THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,and asked
her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

[Pixie]

lol sorry to any blonds but love the speeding ticket one!

[Emma-Lou]

:rotfl: they are really good espacially the first one about the woman.

[Jada-GDR]

A Married couple are driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per
hour
The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and
speaks in a clear voice:
I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce
The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases
her speed to 45mph.
The husband speaks again
I don't want you to try and talk me out of it, he says, because I've been
having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than
you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and
slowly increases the speed to 55 mph.
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.
Up to 60mph
I want the car, too," he continues...
65 mph.
And," he says, I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the
boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes
him nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice." No, I've got
everything I need," she says.
Oh, really," he inquires so what have you got?
Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife turns to him and
smiles.

"The airbag."
Moral of the Story: Women are clever bitches. Don't mess with them.
:cheer: oh yeah, go us, we rock :cheer: