Attempt at being funny

[Jada-GDR]

Just thought i'd try out some comedy. probably wont be very successful, but there's only one way to find out

Martin: teehee i think i'll just go and secretly visit my daughter again

Sonia: what?

Martin: oh, i mean "i think i will mysteriously dissapear while you are out getting attacked by homeless druggies and delete the messages on your phone before you get back"

Sonia: oh okay i'll leave my phone here then

(in the mitchell household)

Sam: i'm bored. :hmm: i know, i'll go dig up another body!

Peggy: no one's dead

Sam: Grant can you go and murder dennis rickman for me plz

Grant: :D

Peggy: where did Phil get to?

Sam: he's in prison again

Peggy: wtf how did he get in there???

Sam: oops i think he killed dennis already

Grant: :crying:

Billy: excuse me, can I have a line now?

Peggy: no billy you not special enough

Billy: waah! no fair!

Peggy: you ain't no mitchell!

Me: yeah, and that's like the WORST thing ever

(at the vic)

Chrissie: i dont know how much longer i can take this

Jake: take what?

Chrissie: I don't know, that's my line that i say

Tracey: WTF DOORSTOP!!!

Chrissie: wrong episode hun

Jake: that wasn't even your line anyway

Tracey: shut up, i'm trying to get a promotion

(in the old smelly flat)

Leo: wtf are we doing here anyway?

Demi: I dunno

(pause)

Demi: ain't you supposed to be dead?

Leo: oh yeah. (lies down) do you think they noticed?

Demi: here let me help (injects dead stuff into leo)

Leo: No! I'm supposed to do that!

Demi: shut it your mommy told you not to play with needles

Leo: :crying:

...

Leo: what about your mommy?

Demi: STFU YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

Leo: but that was ages ago

Demi: yeah i guess... who's for some cocain?

loads of random druggies: YAY! PARTY!!! :D

(in the arches)

Garry: boohoo! :crying: i'm not married!

Minty: well i've decided to live life to the full and do something

Garry: woteva minty.

Minty: woteva yourself

Garry: just cause you've got a brain BRAIN BOY unlike stupid little me

Minty: grrr...

(big fight)

Garry: BRAIN BOY!!!

Minty: STUPID!!!

Garry: YER MA WORKS AT MACDONALDS!!!

Minty: Dammit, he got me

well that's all i've got :) hope you like it

[princss]

hahaha it's funn, please do more

[Chloe-Elise]

Thats funny lol,please do more soon :D

[Charmed]

This stuff is really funny! Please continue

[Kim]

That's really funny, please do more.

[Jada-GDR]

thanx :D

[princss]

pleasse do more i luv it

[Jada-GDR]

Here's another one...

Peggy: oh look at those giant pendant earring things! and someone's hiding behind them!

...

Peggy: oh, it's pat

Pat: help me!!! these evil things are taking over the world!!!

Peggy: try taking them off

Pat: oh right thanks

(in the square)

Dawn: (whacks someone on the head with her new boobs)

Someone: oi! you should watch where you go poking those things!

Dawn: oops soz (boobs bounce about)

Boobs: that hurt

Dawn: :eek:

Someone: THEY TALK??? (runs away waving hands over head)

Dawn: :eek:

(at the slaters)

Kat: oi! i want my breakfast!

LittleMo: i got the toast first *tongue out*

Kat: You got it first yesterday!

LittleMo: i got down here before you so *blows raspberry*

Kat: (throws big tantrum and smashes the fruitbowl)

Charlie: Kat! What you doin'?

Kat: *enjoying herself* smashing things up is my way of dealing with stuff (smashes table)

LittleMo: *mouthful of toast* she wanted my breakfast

Kat: she had it first yesterday! (smashes door)

Charlie: right! thats it! you're both grounded!

LittleMo: :crying:

Kat: (blows up house)

Randomer standing outside: WWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! (gets blown away by explosion)

(in the square)

Mickey: Hi dawn!

Dawn: :eek:

Mickey: o_O

...

Boobs: i think she's in shock

Mickey: :eek:

ok that's all i got time for now hope you like it!

[feelingyellow]

lol, this is really good! post another one soon! :cheer:

[samantha nixon]

thats really good and funny

[Kim]

That's ace. Please do more asap.

[Jada-GDR]

thought id try out a comedy version of tonight's episode.

Peggy: come on stacey, you know chrissie killed den

Stacey: NOOO! NEVER!!!!!!!!

Grant: omg he SOOOOOOO did

Kat: What's goin' on? i told you to stay away from stacey you witch

Grant: o_O

Peggy: she was talking to me

Grant: oh ok

Stacey: RAARRGHH!!!!!!! *punch punch punch*

Grant: eek! :eek: come on mum let's go

(in johnny's office)

Phil: tell me who is buying the vic or you DIE

Johnny: say please

Phil: please

Johnny: no. oh btw i hate your brother

Phil: So do I

Johnny: ok okay then let's be BEST FRIENDS!

Phil: YAY!
...

Phil: okay not in the script

(in the caff)

Dennis: oh remember that time Phil started fooling around with sharon? Blah blah blah

Phil: shut up

Grant: let's go home. (back to dennis) and i am SOOOO much hotter than you so you can wave bye bye to sharon

Dennis: grrrr...

(car lot)

Patrick: yay! i am now a wonderfully successful buisnessman with a car lot! whoopee!

Yolande: you might want to buy some cars

Patrick: why?

Yolande: this is a car lot

Patrick:wha? buh... well how was i to know i would actually have to DO anything to get loads of money? *sulk*

Charlie and Jim: hahahaha

Patrick: you couldn't help me out could you?

Jim: NO ME BACKS KILLING ME I'LL NEED TO GET HOME AND TURN THE TV ON AT ONCE

Patrick: fine then

(grant and dennis @ the arches)

Grant: your wife loves you and your throwing your life away

Dennis: NOOOOOOO!!! :wub: i love you sharon :wub: i'm COMING HOME!

(at the mitchells)

Phil: let's go see johnny and beat him up

Billy: :cheer:

Grant: :cheer:

*two seconds later*

Phil: actually let's not bother

(in the square)

Stacey: how are you doing?

Dennis: *looks like a drunk zombie* I'm a LOSER! :crying:

Stacey: wotever you saddo

Dennis: CHRISSIE KILLED DEN! THE SURVIVAL OF ALL LIVING THINGS IS ON YOUR SHOULDERS!!

Stacey: NOOO!!! *runs away*

(in the vic)

Grant: BIG MITCHELL WANT DRINK! *boom boom boom*

Jake: aye right

Chrissie: leave it jake. (turns on grant) i dont serve gorillas

Dennis: okay i'll buy it then

Grant: Buh...

Dennis: let's be mates

*hugz*

Sharon: hey what about me?

Chrissie: don't worry i know you obviously don't want to talk to your husband who you love so i'll serve him

Sharon: NO! ME SERVE DENNIS! *looks like a phsyco*

Chrissie: fine then

Sharon: I LOVE YOU DENNIS!

Dennis: I LOVE YOU SHARON! *mwah*

Dennis: okay then mitchells i have broken stacey's ailibi. sam is FREE!!!!

Mitchells: YAY DENNIS! :bow:

Chrissie: *obviously stone deaf* hmmm i wonder what they're talking about over there...

[lil baby tash]

hmmmmmmmmmm tis funny

[samantha nixon]

thats really good

[feelingyellow]

:rotfl: can't wait for your next one!

[Jada-GDR]

THURSDAY 10/11/05

Ian: THE VIC IS MINE! MUAHAHAHAHA!
Grant&Phil: WTF?? I dont think so! *grab ian*
Phil: out you go then
Ian: *Whee* oi! MY pub so you can ******* off!

Alfie: Hi jake
Jake: morning
Alfie: wait a sec, ain't you supposed to be in jail?
Jake: wha...? oh yeah, chrissie like TOTALLY got arrested and banged up but WTF i dont care here you can have our money :D

*Chrissie watches tape looking SO not bothered*
Policeman: Is it true what you said on the tape
Chrissie: no i was practicing for drama school
Policeman: .....
Chrissie: I was joking
Policewoman: so what happened?
Chrissie: i want to see sharon
Policeman: tell us!
Chrissie: ME WANNA SEE SHARON!

Policeman: fine then

Nana: ...and i'm giving alfie the tablecloth, and you the table, and danny the chair, and spencer the other chair, and kat gets EVERYTHING ELSE!
Jake: ok
Nana: don't tell alfie though
Alfie: *standing in doorway* :moonie:

Ruby: i wanna spend the day with my daddy whom i love and is a nice man and has never hurt anyone at all ever
Stacey: but it's my birthday!
Ruby: yeah, i know, but i brought you a pressie!
Mo: Blahblahy blehblah blah blah whinge blahbleh stacey!
Ruby: o_O
*here comes johnny*
Johnny: heeeeeeeeeeeres JOHNNY!
Mo: blahbleh blahblahblahwoteverblah blabblehm Stacey's birthday party?
Johnny: freak
Stacey: she means would you like to come to my birthday party?
...
Stacey: WTF??? :mad:
Johnny: why thankyou. teenage birthday parties are my middle name

Jane: be a pub landlord or I will!
Ian: :crying:

Sharon: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! BLLLAAARRRGHHHH!
Chrissie: i just want you to understand! *boohoo*
Sharon: Bleh! you killed my daddy!
Chrissie: it was his fault. he was a meanie. HE TOLD ME TO GO TO MY ROOM!
Sharon: :eek: omg he DID!??!
...
Sharon *recoveres herself* that's no excuse
Chrissie: .....
Sharon: well, maybe it is, but you STILL KILLED MY DADDY!
Chrissie: *evil deep voice* yes sharon. i killed den. *REALLY stupid thing to say considering the police actually TOLD her they were listening*
Police: That's it. We've heard enough.
Chrissie: NO! IT WAS SELF DEFENCE! DRAMA SCHOOL PRACTICE AGAIN!

Ian: this is MY pub now! *waves paper in grant's face*
Sharon: actually, it isn't
Ian: wha...?
Sharon: CHRISSIE FORGED THE SIGNATURE! SO ******* OFF!
Ian&Jane: :crying:
Viewers: :cheer:

Kat: WE ARE FREE!!!
Stacey: WHOOPEE!
Kat: why don't you go and visit Zoe and tell her that WE ARE FREE!!!
Stacey: yes! even though i hate her and she is stupid i will still get to steal all her boyfriends!
Me: Ahahaha...ha...*sarcastic*

Sam: MUMMY!
Peggy: SAMMY!

*hugz*

Sam: i dont know why i'm crying because I AM FREE!!!

Grant: I'll just be off then.
Phil: Don't think you're going to get away without those two using up four boxes of tissues crying...
(grant is gone)
Phil: *for some bizarre reason starts laughing - maybe he thinks grant's playing hide-and-seek or something*

[Jada-GDR]

okay, that one was a bit better :D

[crazy_purple]

I like the 'Jake gets the chair, Alfie gets the other chair, and Kat gets everything else' part :D

[Jada-GDR]

ta :D

[feelingyellow]

teenage birthday parties are my middle name :rotfl: i loved it! can't wait for the next one! :cheer:

[Jada-GDR]

thanks loving the banner by the way feelingyellow :)

[the_watts_rule]

Lol