Advice please!

[SoapRach]

I was with my boyfriend for 4 years and then a month ago i found out that he'd been cheating on me so I ended it (after much discussion and he basically said he wanted to be with her and not with me!).

He's still living in the flat until he gets himself sorted, and in general we get on as mates.

I know that's it's still quite soon after the break up but I just can't see myself with anyone else. I don't want another relationship yet but when I go out I can't even bring myself to smile at other men, let alone speak to them. I really want a bit of fun to help me get over it but I'm just too shy... I've always had a confidence problem but this has made me even more self conscious.

I just want to fast forward to a time when it doesn't hurt so much.

Can anyone give me any advice on how I can feel happy? I try to keep myself busy but I keep thinking that if I'm distracting myself then I'm not dealing with it! It's a vicious circle!

[.:Kitz:.]

I think you need to bulid your confidence. Being a in happy relationship with someone then to find out he was cheating THEN to find out he'd rather be with her has got to do something to your confidence levels. At least you know where you stand with him. Friends. Just think, when he moves out it'll be so much easier to focus on other relationships. By distracting yourself i guess is kinda working, but only making the problem build up to bigger proportions and harder to deal with when you have too. Good luck!

[Behemoth]

I'll copy this over to the agony aunt forum to see if anyone can help you in there as well :D

[xsoftladybugx]

I think you need to get him out of your flat, if he's around you then you are going to keep missing him and wanting to be with him.

Once he's out then go out and have a nice time with your mates, forget about him, show him that you can have a good time without him and you dont need him!!


Good luck :)

[Gabby]

I agree with hannah, you need him out of your flat, if you are seeing him all the time you are going to be wanting him and wishing you were with him. Have you thought about a night out with your girl friends.. This could make you feel better.. and who knows you might meet someone:p. Or just wait until that someone special comes along, he obviously cant be that special, the way he just left you like that. Once he's out it will be able to refresh yourself.

Hope i helped x Good luck:D x

[xsoftladybugx]

ooooo good advce gabbz :cool:

[Abbie]

i agree woth every one else get him out of your flat

[SoapRach]

i agree woth every one else get him out of your flat

ahhh but it's not my flat, it's our flat. I can't kick him out! I need to keep him onside to sign all the papers!

[xsoftladybugx]

Get the papers quickly then, get him out asap!!

[xXxJessxXx]

yeah, i mean if he doesnt want to stick around then he should be willing to sign them they just kick him out (Literally!) chuck all his stuff with him, and get shot of him, you dont deserve someone like that, just be free of him, you'll soon feel a whole lot better for it.

[Gabby]

If he wont move out, then i suggest you sign half the papers and suggest moving in with you friends for a little while. Staying with him is not going to do you any good at all, your just going to crave him otherwise! I suggest you move fast, before things get even worse and you get more heartbroken:(