friends [Archive] - Soap, Drama and Spoiler Forums

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 16:31

Spicy your not here all the time though, trust me i really have a strong feeling she is and so does my other best friend!!!!!
But you are always beliving stuff easily Hanz!! And your other best friend well.. you know what I think of her :p But when I AM there then she seems normal.. she just likes your best friend because she is closer to her than the others!!

xsoftladybugx

15-09-2005, 16:32

BUUUUUUUT at lunch times she act's like a stalker.. seriously it freaks me out and anonys me soooo much

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 16:32

How does she act for you to suspect her of being a lesbian?

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 16:34

Im sure when she finds out she will be upset, she is just very close to your best friend, she just gets along with her more than the rest of you.. whats so lesbianish about that?! Stalking is stalking it hasn't really got anything to do with being a lesbian!! Try a dictionary :p

xsoftladybugx

15-09-2005, 16:35

Just little things that she does.. like when my best mate isnt with us she will be like ooooooohh hannah should i phone her?! where is she?! and when she is with us all she talks about is (unnamed friend lol) and she only talks to her its like her hole life revolves round my mate

Jojo

15-09-2005, 16:36

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 16:37

Because to her she might be her best friend? Ever thought of how close she is with your best mate? As a friend way? Un-named friend :hmm:

xsoftladybugx

15-09-2005, 16:37

Shes nearly 14, i know she might be confused but i mean all gals like a boys and she dose'nt like any she never has done she is just a bit obsessive...

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 16:39

Can I ask how old she is??? The only thing I would say is that there are stages when most people can be looking at their own sexuality - my hubby still thinks I am a lesbian and I'm not, but I do find women attractive. There is a difference. If she thinks she is, does it make her a different person.....

I would advise that if she came on to your friend, then maybe she should have a quiet word alone with her and say that she doesnt feel that way, but if she doesn't, then it could be that she just admires her and there is nothing sexual about it at all. And if she is, does it really matter???
Emz, she is only 13!! She likes her as a best friend but then here my friend Hannah goes a wild way you see :p I know exactly what you mean about not being a lesbian and finding women attractive :) But hello she isn't the popular one should I say.. no offence to her.

She hasn't even done anything sexually!! You may say obsessive but maybe in a frienly obsessive caring best friendish way!!

xsoftladybugx

15-09-2005, 16:41

spicy!!!!!!!!! you would'nt know she does'nt tell you anything 3 out of 3 of us think that she could be or at least bi -sexuall

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 16:42

No not 3!! More like 2 out of 3 with you loony's she will clearly say Yeah!! Whatever..

Jojo

15-09-2005, 16:43

Shes nearly 14, i know she might be confused but i mean all gals like a boys and she dose'nt like any she never has done she is just a bit obsessive...I wouldn't say that it would make her a lesbian, my son is 12 and he has no interest in girls, but that doesn't make him gay, I didn't have a boyfriend till I was 15, and didn't fancy any of the guys in my school till then. I would be very wary of thinking of someone as a lesbian, especially as they are a friend of yours - obviously I don't know the situation etc, but when I was younger, we had a group of us that were always together, and if one of us wasnt there, we'd always worry about that person etc and it was just friendship nothing more......obsession could just be admiration and your other friend is concerned that she is obsessed with her, then she should still speak to her on her own about it. If you friend discovered that you were all saying these things and thinking this about her, she would be extremely upset and hurt, or at least I know I would be :)

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 16:45

Exactly Emz!!

Jojo

15-09-2005, 16:46

Emz, she is only 13!! She likes her as a best friend but then here my friend Hannah goes a wild way you see :p I know exactly what you mean about not being a lesbian and finding women attractive :) But hello she isn't the popular one should I say.. no offence to her.

She hasn't even done anything sexually!! You may say obsessive but maybe in a frienly obsessive caring best friendish way!!This is true Spicy - I personally have had drunken encounters with other woman (kissing but not fumbling) but it doesn't make me a lesbian. I think its more friendish concern from what has been said - nothing more..... :p

CrazyLea

15-09-2005, 16:54

so what if she was a lesbian. its her choice lol (sorry if that seems harsh) you should be supportive

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 16:55

I won't say anything about this.. I know its ok to be a lesbian as its their wish but something else I won't say about Hanz :p

hannah-mj

15-09-2005, 16:55

oh my god! the exact same thing happened .....right the worst thing you can do is talking about it behind her back me and all my other mates had an inkling like this about my *friend and also she had never liked any boys or done anything with them or anything.
But at one of my other friends sleepovers where *she wasnt invited everyone was discussing her and at the time it seemed totaly true , but then someone one slipped up and told her , she was called names by the lads for agesss and now she gets really upset about it.
But now its all started again people are now thinking she fancies one of her best mates........in the same way you are thinking like the obsession kinda thingy ...... i just suggest you dont talk about it behind her back as it will hurt her more if someone slips up about it , i reckon you should have a little chat with her about it.
by the way would you see her differently if she admitted to fancying her mate? xxxx

essay over :D

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 16:57

Yep!! :) Thanks Emz :p

Gabby

15-09-2005, 16:57

That is true, i actually think that this is wuite pathetic, just becuase she is very close to this girl , it doesnt make her a lesbian. I am reallly close to all my best friends.. does that make me a lesbian!!!???

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 16:58

Yes it does Gabby.. *hides head in shame..* But I will accept it..

Joking Hunz.. my point!! Only because she is close to her!!

hannah-mj

15-09-2005, 16:59

Bleedin' hell.. Hannah means wierd suspecion and personality name in some cases I guess!! They only are closer with one friend!! Hello!!no spicy! i didnt think this about her , just the things people where saying about her where kinda true so could make her be seen that way but i dont think she is! But the way she is with her new best mate is fine i dont think it , its my other mates!

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 17:01

Lol ok then.. I take it back :p Sorry :rotfl:

Gabby

15-09-2005, 17:03

Hannah i actually think that you are way to gullable, you need to stop listening to what your friends say and look for yourself, im sure you are close to many of your friends like me.. i love all my mates to bits, and maybe thats what she feels to.. Maybe she is a tiny bit obsessed, and instead of asking opinions of other people you should ask this girl why she has become a bit obsessed. Or get the girl who she is a little bit obsessed with to ask her, i personally think this is a better way of solving the problem..

hannah-mj

15-09-2005, 17:03

Lol ok then.. I take it back :p Sorry :rotfl:its ok hun lol! .... i reckon there is nothing to it and if there is (which i dont think there is :)) she will tell you when she is ready :)

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 17:07

I agree Gabby :) I think this will stop he being 'obsessed' but then again she will be upset of people talking about her being a lesbian. This will defo. solve her obsession though but her 'obsession' is actually caring for a friend :) I care for certain freinds who treat me equally as in if they do soemthing nice I would too :) Its not lesbian'ish!!

angelblue

15-09-2005, 17:10

I think the best option is to stop jumping to conclusion and act has normal with your friend if she comes to and tells you that she is an lesiban i think you should be their for her as an friend and be mature an about because i am sure it wont be easy for her to talk to people

Also i agree with the others i dont think she is an lesiban she may just like this person as an friend but if she is an lesiban i dont think you should treat her any different :)

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 17:14

hannah-mj

15-09-2005, 17:16

I agree once again!!i agree too! :D
I just advise you to think about this lots before you act because my mates didnt and she got really hurt x

Gabby

15-09-2005, 17:18

I think the best option is to stop jumping to conclusion and act has normal with your friend if she comes to and tells you that she is an lesiban i think you should be their for her friend and be mature an about because i am sure it wont be easy for her to talk to people

Also i agree with the others i dont think she is an lesiban she may just like this person as an friend but if she is an lesiban i dont think you should treat her any different :)

I totally agree too!!
If she is a lesbian anyways which im sure she isnt, does it make her any different? :hmm:

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 17:19

She's still the same friend you always knew, just not with her feelings.. you best friend clearly dosen't admire this but you can't change her feelings. She just has to live with it but then she hasn't got the same feelings so there is no problem..

Jojo

15-09-2005, 17:20

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 17:23

Actually.. just on Monday she was telling someone about a boy she fancies..

Gabby

15-09-2005, 17:23

Emz that is soo true its unbelievable!! I find this age quite tough as it already is, and i was just thinking if someone accused hannah of being a lesbian she would REALLY hate it!!

hannah-mj

15-09-2005, 17:25

I would lastly say - put yourself in her shoes - would you really like it being accused of being a lesbian just because you don't fancy guys yet?? Life is unfair enough as it is, without these kinds of prejudices being placed on people that don't even feel that way!! At 14, you have enough to deal with without having things like this being discussed behind your back, by people you think are your friends.
Totally agree with this just imagine how you would feel :) , were not trying to make you feel guilty (well im not lol) but just ermm think how she feels :D thats all there is to say really :D xxx

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 17:26

Emz that is soo true its unbelievable!! I find this age quite tough as it already is, and i was just thinking if someone accused hannah of being a lesbian she would REALLY hate it!!
Yeah!! Exactly!! And like the she just found out people called her a lesbian.. by some mystery person who might have been easedropping (sp?).. she didn't like it.. she is just close to her..

CrazyLea

15-09-2005, 17:29

I would lastly say - put yourself in her shoes - would you really like it being accused of being a lesbian just because you don't fancy guys yet?? Life is unfair enough as it is, without these kinds of prejudices being placed on people that don't even feel that way!! At 14, you have enough to deal with without having things like this being discussed behind your back, by people you think are your friends.

quite alot of my mates are bi. and when people found out they gave them alot of stick. it was well stupid. i hate people like that.

hannah-mj

15-09-2005, 17:32

i hate people like that.
me too , none of my mates are bi or gay (not that i know of anyway)
but there is nothing wrong with it!

xsoftladybugx

15-09-2005, 18:04

no she will still be my mate but i dont think i will be as open and close with her as i am, i dont think my other friends would either..

xsoftladybugx

15-09-2005, 18:06

i would hate it but i dont act in a suspicious way to make people think im a lesbian... it would'nt make me not like her i would'nt be nasty or anything i was juts wondering if theres any advice people could give for me or my friends because its making us uncomfortable when she says and does things....

Jojo

15-09-2005, 18:10

no she will still be my mate but i dont think i will be as open and close with her as i am, i dont think my other friends would either..I'm not being funny with you, or having a go or anything, but that would be just as bad as not speaking to her again - even if she were bi or lesbian, which I personally doubt (even though I don't personally know her) who is to say she finds any of you attractive. Surely if you were true friends, and she told you this, it shouldn't make any difference to your friendship with her - she is 13/14 and I think you are all being extremely unfair on her and not putting yourselves in her shoes or thinking about how you would feel if this was about you and not her.....sorry...

If you feel uncomfortable about things she says, quietly speak to her about it, don't speculate honey :)

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 18:21

no she will still be my mate but i dont think i will be as open and close with her as i am, i dont think my other friends would either..
I think I know one who won't mind and will accept her for who she is and will be fine.. but than again that's my thought but nothing to worry about.. I seriously think she is not a lesbian!!

Good think Emz!! I agree totally :D You're great :)

xsoftladybugx

15-09-2005, 18:40

I'm not saying i wont accept her for who she is i was just asking for advice because sometimes she makes me and my friends uncomfortable when she says things or does things

xsoftladybugx

15-09-2005, 18:41

And i didnt say that she found me or any of my friends attractive, if i did what i meant is that she has a weird obsession with one of my friends and she says and does things that make us jump to conclusions about her

Jojo

15-09-2005, 18:42

I'm not saying i wont accept her for who she is i was just asking for advice because sometimes she makes me and my friends uncomfortable when she says things or does thingsLike I said Hannah, best way is that if you feel uncomfortable with something she says or does, let her know, have a quiet word, just you and her, but don't make it into a big thing honey :)

xsoftladybugx

15-09-2005, 18:43

Thanks for the advice everyone :D you're great

xsoftladybugx

15-09-2005, 21:14

I'm talking to the girl now on msn, and your advice has made me think twice mabye she just admires my friend i will have a chat with my other friends about it a big thanks to everyone that gave advice :D :cheer:

.:SpIcYsPy:.

15-09-2005, 21:28

So do you still think she is a lesbian or not sure or you think she just likes you best mate as a best friend?

xsoftladybugx

15-09-2005, 21:31

I'm not really sure but i have taken note of what everyone has said and when she does make me feel uncomfortable i will either ignor it or have a word with her about it :D i dont think shes a lesbian atm but she might well be when she is older, it wont change my opinion of her as a good friend though :D

Jade

16-09-2005, 08:38

I'll just add my two pence here...

TBH it shound like normal teenage girl behaviour, people get jelouse and posessive over friendships when they are young teenagers nothing more too it, that behaviour irons its self out over times.

Also a friend can be jelouse over their best friends boyfriend it doesnt mean they fancie their friend or anything.

Also at this age people are experimenting with their sexual identity.

Look at Ruby and Stacy in EE - Stacy is jelouse of anyone Ruby is close to, its not that she fancies her, she just likes the closeness of female friendship.

Emma-Lou

30-09-2005, 19:02

one of my friends is having the same problem there is this girl who tries to get as close to her as possible also she rubs her hand on my friends thigh and my friend got told from someone else she asked another girl when she was staying over to take her top off.Can anyone help me tell my friend what to do as she is getting very freaked out but does not want to hurt her feelings?

.:SpIcYsPy:.

30-09-2005, 19:22

Im getting all confused with there friends... :searchme:

I think now this is a problem.. to call lesbianish sort of thing not the sort we had when we started this thread..

I think your friend shouldn't go off with your friend who fancies her.. Maybe your friend should try talking to the friend who fancies her..

How old are they if you don't mind me asking..

Its really your friends choice if she dosne't mind her touching her up..

Emma-Lou

30-09-2005, 19:28

thanks for advice sorry if i went off topic they are 13 andmy friend doesn't like it

.:SpIcYsPy:.

30-09-2005, 19:30

No you didn't go off-topic at all!!

Right about the same age I see.

I think your friend should talk to her.. and if the fancying friend won't give him, your friend needs to like get to the point and tell her staright and sharp she dosen't want this and she dosne't feel comfortable with this.

Emma-Lou

30-09-2005, 19:32

ok thanks so much as my friend is really get paranoi and is not talking to this girl at the moment and she keeps asking me why she is not talking to her

.:SpIcYsPy:.

30-09-2005, 19:38

Lol no problem, maybe first speak to the friend and tell her she needs to speak to the flirty friend. Then after if the flirty friend asks you why tell her to speak to her..

xsoftladybugx

30-09-2005, 19:41

It's really freaky when some girl is like perving on your best mate, I know how you feel!!

Emma-Lou

30-09-2005, 19:44

Will do my friend will be relieved but she is worrying the the flirty girl will take it to her guidance teacher and she will get in trouble

.:SpIcYsPy:.

30-09-2005, 19:47

It's really freaky when some girl is like perving on your best mate, I know how you feel!!
Compared to eastiesbabe's problem yours is just like caring for a friend..

xsoftladybugx

30-09-2005, 19:48

It's not she tried to kiss me and the other two before

.:SpIcYsPy:.

30-09-2005, 19:49

It's not she tried to kiss me and the other two before
Say that in English..

Emma-Lou

30-09-2005, 19:51

lol its not too bad hopefully it will stop but thanks for your comments

xsoftladybugx

30-09-2005, 19:56

Dont worry everything is ok at the moment i dont wanna jinx it"!!

Abbie

02-10-2005, 18:54

heya softladybug i havent read all of this thread as it would take to long but all i wnna say is i have a friend thats bi and shes 14 so as long as you tell her that your just friends she should understand but you shouldnt really care if she is afterall your still godd mates

Abbie

02-10-2005, 18:55

Dont worry everything is ok at the moment i dont wanna jinx it"!!thats good to here

xsoftladybugx

02-10-2005, 18:56

I dont care about if it she is, but sometimes it just kinda scares me!!

Gabby

02-10-2005, 19:00

Aww, you just not got to think like that. Think more along the lines she is just too friendly..

Abbie

02-10-2005, 19:03

I dont care about if it she is, but sometimes it just kinda scares me!!yer i know what you mean just think like gabby just said

di marco

12-11-2005, 11:31

erm i dont if this has been sorted or not but i just want to add something

are you friends with any boys? cos technically they could all fancy you too, but youre still friends with them, and they probably dont all fancy you, lesbians dont fancy every other girl. just cos shes your friend (and im not saying shes a lesbian, im saying if she is) then it doesnt mean she fancies you, i bet youre friends with boys who you dont fancy.

one of my mates became a lesbian when we were about 15 and no one in my class had a problem with it, she didnt try anything on with any of us so we werent uncomfortable round her and we treated her the same as we always did. however there was this other person in our year who was a lesbian and she used to rub peoples legs in class and stuff just to freak them out, thats not right, its not that she was a lesbian that we found it weird, if i boy started doing that to me when i didnt want them to i wouldnt like it either.

so what im trying to say is, shes just like everyone else, she doesnt sound like a lesbian to me from what ive read but if she is theres no reason why you should treat her any differently, theres no reason why you should think she would fancy you. she will act the same way to you either way so you should respect her for it

again, as i said at the beginning, this might have already been solved

Tannie

07-01-2006, 11:58

This is my own problem that is really starting to do my head in! My friend brags about how many boyfriends she's had and then with her current boyfriend she goes do you know where (boyfriends name) is . . . i just go shut up about it . . . . and then she goes just because you haven't had a boyfriend and it is really starting to do my head in. This might not seem like a problem to you but i don't know how to get her to stop it and i will proabley end up hitting her but she will hit me back what should i do????

Tanya
xxxx

di marco

07-01-2006, 12:49

is your friend one of those people that when they have a boyfriend they dont want to know you? like they want to do everything with them and not hang around with their mates? and then when they break up, they want their mates to drop everything for them?

Tannie

07-01-2006, 13:14

well not really but it really gets on my nerves

di marco

07-01-2006, 13:28

well not really but it really gets on my nerves

so she does still go out and do stuff with her friends even when she has a boyfriend?

Tannie

07-01-2006, 13:35

yeah sometimes but it gets pretty annoying because all she talks about is her boyfriend it's not excatley putting me down but it's annoying me

di marco

07-01-2006, 14:35

yeah sometimes but it gets pretty annoying because all she talks about is her boyfriend it's not excatley putting me down but it's annoying me

well why dont you and your other friends try and start a conversation about something youre all interested in and then maybe she will join in that instead?

Tannie

07-01-2006, 14:39

Thanks for the advice

Luv Tanya
xxxxx
(spud)

pip_kin

16-01-2006, 21:41

omg jake_luva im havin exactly the same problem with two of my friends at the mo all the do is talk about their boyfriends, and now they are ignorin my other friend and stuff its doing my head in!!!
and from the first thing that was said, my friend is a bisexual, and it doesnt make things wierd!!!!