will i ever move on

[tasha_hopkins]

when i was 13 i slept over my uncles house as he was having a house warming party, i had been drinking heavily but i can remember everything that went on that night. it wasn't a party it was just my family having fun.
When i decided to go to bed i had to share my bed with my cousin who is a girl which i didn't mind, but later that night when everyone was asleep my uncle came in my room and sexually assalted me, i was awake at the time but i was frozen with fear, it only stopped because i woke my cousin up who was sleeping next to me.
My cousin took me home at 4.00am and i will never forget the look on my mothers face when she found out what her brother had done. i had to be examined and i had my bloods taken. What made things worse was my family turned their back on me, they beleived me but wanted to support my uncle more, thay have not spoke to me or my mum in 4 years.
I had to go to court, my uncle went to jail for 4 months my family were there supporting him, even my cousin who was in the same bed and witnessed some of the molestation.
Since then i have been to numorous counselling sessions which have been unsuccessful and have self-harmed. Iam 17 now trying to get on with my life, my uncle has married his girlfriend who was in the next room when it happened. my family look the other way when they see me and i often wonder if i shouldn't have said anything. its hard to get away from my uncle he lives around the corner from me but after 4 years i still havn't come face to face with him and when i do i know im going to be petrified can i ever move on? :crying:

[hazey]

firstly sorry to hear that a person you trusted,turned out to be so vial. I had a similiar thing happen to me. It takes a while and 4 years is not enough I am sorry to say this but its true. Keep up talking to someone and do as I did you close your eyes and remember what happened and visualise you are putting it all on a video,when you have done that, put the imaginary video away in a cupboard never to be played again. I know it sounds daft,but this is what my counclor told me to do and it work for me. As for meeting him,just stand tall. It will hit him harder to know that you don't care about him anymore and walk past it will be hard,but beleive me you can do it.My attacker lived next door. If that part of your family dont talk to you never mind, it is their loss that they are missing out on seeing you. Yes you did the right thing you have saved another girl having to suffer. Good luck

[samantha nixon]

sorry to hear that this has happened to both of you and good luck tasha_hopkins as you can do it and hazey that is a good idea about the tape thing

[tasha_hopkins]

thank you both for giving such good advice it just gets hard sometimes, thanks hazey you given me hope that i can get on with my life and can offer support to others in my situation. thank you again both xxxxx

[eastenderfan_91]

i am sorry to hear about this all i can say really is try and focus on something positive and look ahead dont look back and hopefully you will move on

[Jade]

I agree 100% with what hazy says, 4 years is not enough time to get over what happened to you. It maybe worth giving counciling another go as it takes a few attempts to find the right person.

I wish you all the best.

[stacyefc]

i really feel for you. I can't beleive your family supported your uncle, you don't need your family, you've got your mum. I really hope you can move on

[dragoneye454]

The same happened to me with my step-dad. It only stopped because my mum saw him once. I never went to the police over it and my family all know but are still best friends with him. Well done for going to the police. It was very brave. Have you tried talking to your family about how you feel? Maybe they don't support him as much as you think but they do it to keep the peace

[Siobhan]

Tasha, first of all I don't think you did the wrong thing reporting him. you may have lost some of your family but if he did that to you the chances are that he would do it to other family member and if you said nothing it would have been worse.

Like Hazey said, try the video tape thing.. you are lucky to have your mum support and she never took her brothers side on this. I don't think you will ever get over it but hopefully time will heal most of the damage cause mental and physically to you...

[annaz]

You really didn't deserve it, it's so sad. I really hope you get over it all as it seems truly horrible

[tasha_hopkins]

thanks all so much it means so much. I have tried talking to my family but they have always been violent towards me and call me a "slag" and stuff like that, even though he admitted it. My other uncle phoned my house the other week and said he was going to kill me and stuff, i don't understand everytime i get back on track they always do something to knock me back down. I don't go out in my area just incase i see one of them, im lucky my friends don't live by me otherwise i would never go out.

[Tannie]

they have no right to call you names because really they don't know what you're going through at this time and i know how you feel i got threatend to get killed by a bully and it's really not nice. But just stay positive.

[LUSHLOOKE69]

I just cant believe your family why would anyone take his side if hes admitted to it! You just have to remember you were not in the wrong. Something else that may be theraputic to you is to read books of others who have had similar experiences so yoyu can realise people to get over such horrible things happening to them.