View Full Version : Marriage
Whats everyone thoughs on the matter?
Do you want to get married?
Are you against it?
Are you Married?
(sorry bit random this!!)
I am marrried second time around for me, first lasted 4 years,he ran off with a younger model, I was 23 at the time and he was 36. Been married to second hubby 24 years next month. We are the best of pals first and hubby and wife second.
I believe in getting married, but its not for everyone I know, I have a friend that has been living with her partner for 28 years and they are very happy and say a bit of paper means nothing to them.
ive been with my partner since we were both 16,now 23 with two children and another on the way,we share absolutley everything and we have a mortgage together.i am in no hurry to get married,its something i would like to do one day but im too bothered by it.it wont change anything we do now,it wont be a any bigger commitment then having children,they are live humans,marriage is just a piece of paper compared to having children together i dont think it compares.just my opinion dont shoot me! :)
I have been with my hubby for over 10 years, married for 6 in Nov. We are best of friends and soulmates, share everything, no secrets etc. We married in Dominican Rep. as I am not a blancmange type person, so didn't want all of the fuss that goes with a church wedding - bands being read etc.
xCharliex
22-08-2005, 23:40
Personally i dont believe i will ever get married, im not the commited type, ive never had a serious boyfriend, never really had flings except when i was younger and naive and going off the rails a bit (typical 15 year old teenage phase)
Ive seen to many marriages broken up in my life, and many of my friends have been in commited relationships from the age of 16 with children now at 19, and it scares me to much. Have lost all trust in guys over things that have happened to me, im also quite a selfish person when it comes down to things like that, i like me own space, do what i want and not answer to someone lol. If it even happened id want my career sorted first.
I also feel that the only true meaning of marriage is back in the "olden days" ie: my grandparents years, guys seemed to be very trustworthy, and true gentleman. Guys nowadays are only after girls for one thing only. Of course thats not all guys, but the ones i seem to attract are. They seem to judge me by looks, which annoys me. But hey i wouldnt say no to Robbie Williams, lol.
Robbie's mine!!! lol. The only trouble with our family is that there is a divorce trend, my grandparents divorced, my parents divorced and so did my brother. So we are wondering if its a family thing or what....I was lucky I met my hubby when I did though, as I was really going off the rails big style, and I sometimes wonder if I could have come back from it. Mostly late teens kind of stuff though, nothing too serious.
xCharliex
22-08-2005, 23:48
No, your married, your not allowed him lol.
Marriage is just a ring on a finger to me and a certificate, i know to others its not, my nan always used to say " its about being with someone for the rest of your life and loving them" fair enough, but marriage isnt what it used to be i dont think. I mean there is no way i could stay with someone for the rest of my life, just kiss that one person! Hey maybe my views will change later on in life, but i doubt it lol. But Robbie he can be my hubby, i have no complaints there, and he can sleep with whoever he wants, women or men lol
My hubby and I have an agreement - if Robbie wants to take me under his wing - no problem :cheer: I think for most people, marriage definitely isn't what it used to be. Its too easy to get in and out of in that respect, look at Britney Spears. But I think that if you love someone and do want to spend the rest of your life with them, then you can make that choice. You've just got to make sure you keep all aspects alive and exciting throughout for each other.....
Ever since i was a wee girl i have always said i would never get married. I wasn't one to prance about with a dovet cover wrapped round me and a pair of net curtains on my head pretending to be getting married (my 7 year niece does that now :lol: ) Everyone said oh you'll change your mind when your older but i havent. I see no point it's just a piece of paper and an expensive do.
Thats why I went to the Dominican - it was about my hubby and me, not how well my parents did raising me etc. And it cost £4k all told. That was for 4 of us to go out there on a 2 week all inc holiday, with the wedding in the second week etc. We said we couldn't be doing with all that top table lark, and organising etc. The sad part and another reason really, is that both of my hubby parents passed away when he was 20 & 21. We felt it wouldn't be the same with my parents (divorced though) there and not his. This way, we felt they were watching us when we got married (especially as it was raining all morning until 5 mins before our ceremony!!)
phils little sister
23-08-2005, 10:10
Im never getting married and i mean NEVER, why do you need a piece of paper to show your feelings for someone :searchme:
Im never getting married and i mean NEVER, why do you need a piece of paper to show your feelings for someone :searchme:
Totally Agree PLS :cheer:
I have been with my hubby for over 10 years, married for 6 in Nov. We are best of friends and soulmates, share everything, no secrets etc. We married in Dominican Rep. as I am not a blancmange type person, so didn't want all of the fuss that goes with a church wedding - bands being read etc.
im married ( nearly a year!!) i didnt want a big fussy church wedding we just went down to the registeer office. i didnt want to wear white as that what evryone does that! so i wore a burgundy dress. i had connor who was my page boy and daves best boy ( he didnt want a best man!!) and a bridesmaid. we had our ceremony had a few photos and then had a little meal with just 30 of our close family and then a disco in the eveneing. it was great.
it hasnt changed us we are still the same all that is different is i have got another ring on my finger and a certificate to say im married, plus i now sign my name with a different surname( when i remember)
getting married wasnt a big deal i really wanted to have the same surname as connor that was why we did it!
.:SpIcYsPy:.
23-08-2005, 14:43
Ever since i was a wee girl i have always said i would never get married. I wasn't one to prance about with a dovet cover wrapped round me and a pair of net curtains on my head pretending to be getting married (my 7 year niece does that now :lol: ) Everyone said oh you'll change your mind when your older but i havent. I see no point it's just a piece of paper and an expensive do.
I never played weddings and I also said I wont get married.. I will stick to it!!
CrazyLea
23-08-2005, 14:46
im not married (only 16 :p) i dont want to ger married either. but who knows thoughts might change as i get older
I never played weddings and I also said I wont get married.. I will stick to it!!
I never understood girl that done that - Where i grew up there was only guys hang around with and my gran was convinced it was because of that but i have stuck to it almost 23 and still dont want to go that trip down the ailse
SoapRach
23-08-2005, 15:35
I want to get married but from a legal stand point more than a romantic one. you are recognised more as a couple when you are married (i.e. from the government). I read an article that outlined your rights as a couple living together and how they differ from your rights as married couple.
I personally would prefer to have kids in marriage for the legal reasons too - I don't have anything against people who have them before marriage - it's just my personal view.
If you are in a committed relationship with someone and you have joint assets and perhaps event children together getting married is an easy way to ensure that everyone has legal title to the joint goods and the children.
If you are not married and your partner dies without leaving a will his partner would get nothing.
If you are a man and you have children and your partner leaves you, you have no right to see the children, although you do have the responsibility to pay for them!
It is important to check out your rights. Make sure that mortgages are in joint name, make sure the each of you has a will leaving everything to the survivor.
Ensure that the father is recognised in law - it isn't yet enough to get his name on the birth certificate. You need to go to court and get a parenting agreement (Scottish law).
Even with a joint mortgage, if he dies leaving no will then his half of the house goes to his parents - you know that 'almost' mother in law that you cannot stand? You will have to sell up to pay her off.
I am married, I have been married for 15 years and I am very happy. However, marriage isn't for everyone, just make sure that you protect yourself in case of disaster. The legal mumbo jumbo can protect you.
Dr. Tangliss
23-08-2005, 18:02
Whats everyone thoughs on the matter?
Do you want to get married?
Are you against it?
Are you Married?
(sorry bit random this!!)
I am married, have been for over 3 years now :)
I never played weddings and I also said I wont get married.. I will stick to it!!
i never played weddings either and i also said id never get married or have kids!! in fact i said i would neve have kids until i was 35 to a work mate, and then 3 months later i was preggers!!! i was 22 at the time!!
i was sure id stick to it too
just wait in years to come when we still al posting on here and you announce your wedding well all remind you of this post!! :rotfl:
I personally would prefer to have kids in marriage for the legal reasons too - I don't have anything against people who have them before marriage - it's just my personal view.
me and dave werent married when we had connor. i was horrified in hospital when he had to be called baby ******* ( my maiden name) i wante him to have daves and on all his paperwork it has thatname. apparently it for security reasons.
also health visitors doctors and older people looked at us strange when i would say connors name and then mine they would just assume that i was married to his dad! that used to really annoy me. we wanted more kids but i said i had to be married first.
Even with a joint mortgage, if he dies leaving no will then his half of the house goes to his parents - you know that 'almost' mother in law that you cannot stand? You will have to sell up to pay her off.
.
:eek: :eek: :eek:
Been with my bloke for 6 years and we have a house and a Dog! (big commitment there) we've both made wills so no danger of the "nearly in-laws" getting their hands on anything, but also i've only just found out, we'd get done for inheritance tax if (god forbid) anything happens to either of us.
I've nothing against getting married, its not somthing i've really wanted to do. When we visited the Baharmas we went to a deserted island where they filmed Gilligans Island, so we said if we ever did get married, we'd do it there.
TBH - i've got loads of things the money would be better used for, like decorating the house and building an extenstion, so maybe in future!
TBH - i've got loads of things the money would be better used for, like decorating the house and building an extenstion, so maybe in future!
we had a really simple cheap wedding as we didnt see the point on spending loads for others to have a good time when it was our day!!! oooh that sounds horrid and stingy but i dont mean it like tha!
it still cost us loads though and my mum and dad paid for some!
we looked at a hotle to get amrried in but it was £30 a head to eat!! and the food was horrid sounding. in the end we plumped fora catere at £12 a head with a good old roast beef dinner!
i still look back and think grrr that money could have been spent on a new sofa!
Most things with us come down to money, or lack of it!
Most things with us come down to money, or lack of it!Thats one reason why we went to Dominican and got married, 4 of us there and it was £4k so if it was Paul and I, it would have only cost £1,500 but we wanted to have two witnesses that we knew...we preferred it that way most definitely and have great tans in our wedding photos!!!
also there are loads of my family and about 4 in his that would actually come so i wouldnt go doing it out of the embarresment of that either.plus i cant stand the thought of everyone staring at me,id just love it to be me him and our children.were debating doing in in america when we last went but id never hear the end of it from my mum so best just to leave it.
Dr. Tangliss
25-08-2005, 14:08
me and dave werent married when we had connor. i was horrified in hospital when he had to be called baby ******* ( my maiden name) i wante him to have daves and on all his paperwork it has thatname. apparently it for security reasons.
also health visitors doctors and older people looked at us strange when i would say connors name and then mine they would just assume that i was married to his dad! that used to really annoy me. we wanted more kids but i said i had to be married first.
Same here! When I had my Son, Martin and I were not married, and it annoyed me that on his hospital tag, he had to take my maiden name, dispite the fact I wanted Angliss on it!! I also got strange looks form my health visiter. I am happy to say, I was married when I had my second, so everything was smoother.
thats one good reason why id get married so i could have the same surname as my kids but i do have to say i am quite chuffed that in hosp it has my surname on there anke not the other halves as they gonna have that for life anyway so at least they got to use mine once...
Dr. Tangliss
30-08-2005, 14:27
:cartman:
Been with my bloke for 6 years and we have a house and a Dog! (big commitment there) we've both made wills so no danger of the "nearly in-laws" getting their hands on anything, but also i've only just found out, we'd get done for inheritance tax if (god forbid) anything happens to either of us.
I've nothing against getting married, its not somthing i've really wanted to do. When we visited the Baharmas we went to a deserted island where they filmed Gilligans Island, so we said if we ever did get married, we'd do it there.
TBH - i've got loads of things the money would be better used for, like decorating the house and building an extenstion, so maybe in future!
We have not even thought of wills, and should do, considering we have two children.
$sTaCeY$
30-08-2005, 21:27
I never played weddings and I also said I wont get married.. I will stick to it!!
same here spicy but i probably will get married though :lol:
same here spicy but i probably will get married though :lol:
all of a sudden you meet a bloke and you change your mind! i did!!
RealityGap
02-09-2005, 14:49
Whats everyone thoughs on the matter?
Do you want to get married?
Are you against it?
Are you Married?
(sorry bit random this!!)
I am married - will be 8 years in November - (got married at 22) Being married never changed anything for us, I thought it would but it didnt
Dr. Tangliss
02-09-2005, 14:52
I know what you mean! I thought, getting married you would feel different. I know it sounds silly.
RealityGap
02-09-2005, 15:35
I know what you mean! I thought, getting married you would feel different. I know it sounds silly.
I dont know what I thought would change but I felt a little disapointed when I didnt feel any different! - I guess that is being young for you!!
It did change things for me, though. I had lived with my husband for 18 month before we got married and I always felt really insecure. I know it is stupid, but i felt much less insecure once we were married. I have been happily married now for 15 1/2 years.
RealityGap
02-09-2005, 19:03
It did change things for me, though. I had lived with my husband for 18 month before we got married and I always felt really insecure. I know it is stupid, but i felt much less insecure once we were married. I have been happily married now for 15 1/2 years.
glad to hear you have been happily married for so long
I never lived with hubby for that long before we got married - well actually it was 14 months so not that much difference! we got married 20 months after getting together!
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