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View Full Version : Would you stay with someone...


Incognito
08-08-2005, 11:36
... if they were ill? What would you do if you had been with someone for a long time (10 years) and things weren't good between you. But he was ill and needed someone to look after him. It would be hard to walk away when he needs someone to care for him - but you also have relationship issues which means you wouldn't necessarily be together. Can it work? :searchme:
Trinity
08-08-2005, 13:17
That is a hard one.

It depends on a lot of things. I don't think that you should have to stay with someone if the relationship is failing just because they are ill, but depending on the illness and prognosis perhaps it would be a bit harsh to abandon them completely.

Is it possible to remain friends, and help as much as you can, without being a partner?
Incognito
08-08-2005, 13:55
He has been diagnosed with epilepsy and had seizures.

He wouldn't want us to be just friends so I would have no contact with him - but I've given him time to sort our problems out but he hasn't done anything about it. It means I'm stuck in limbo but cannot bear the thought of him being ill and not being there to help him. I also wonder whether the reason he isn't making the effort to sort us out is partly done to the epilepsy which effects the brain. :crying:
SoapRach
13-08-2005, 19:34
You can't stay with him just because of the epilepsy though - I'm not saying just abandon him but epilepsy will be with him for life and from the sounds of it you don't seem to be happy enough to face that.

does he have a lot of other support around him?
Trinity
15-08-2005, 12:15
There are many people out there who successfully control and live with epilepsy. You shouldn't feel that you have to stay in a failing relationship because of illness. It may seem harsh, but how does it help him for you to sacrifice your happiness? Can he be happy if you are not?
Johnny Allen
15-08-2005, 17:30
There are many people out there who successfully control and live with epilepsy. You shouldn't feel that you have to stay in a failing relationship because of illness. It may seem harsh, but how does it help him for you to sacrifice your happiness? Can he be happy if you are not?

Thats good advice.
RealityGap
02-09-2005, 14:59
He has been diagnosed with epilepsy and had seizures.

He wouldn't want us to be just friends so I would have no contact with him - but I've given him time to sort our problems out but he hasn't done anything about it. It means I'm stuck in limbo but cannot bear the thought of him being ill and not being there to help him. I also wonder whether the reason he isn't making the effort to sort us out is partly done to the epilepsy which effects the brain. :crying:

this is tough - I had epileptic type seizures (had 40 a day at one point) and I would not have wanted my husband (then boyfriend) to stay with me because he felt he need to help me.

They should get the seizures under control quickly so he doenst NEED you, and if he wouldnt want you around just to be friends then that is his loss, you need to be with some one whom you want to be with not feel you need to be with

sorry this seems harsh