View Full Version : Chav Jokes- Warning - Adult Content
We All Hate Them, Heres Some Jokes About Them:
WARNING SOME ADULT CONTENT!
Chavs are like slinkies, they have no real use but it's great to watch one fall dow na flight of stairs.
What do you call a chav in a fridge?
Chillin'
What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe
What do you call a chav in a box,
INNIT
Why are chav either with they're mates or at the dss?
Cos no chav is anti social.
How do you stop a chav from drowning?
Take your foot off their head.
What's the difference between a Chav girl and the Grand Old Duke of York?
The Grand Old Duke of york only had ten thousand men...
The Government have approached the Chav's to ask them if they would like ( on joining a single currency with europe) to have the currency of the country renamed.
The Chav's have replied that they prefer to keep is as the Giro
What do you say to a chav at the peak of their career?
"Big Mac and fries please"
What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
If you see a chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
What's the difference between a chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?!"
Chris_2k11
17-07-2005, 15:37
lol, they're great Bondboffin :thumbsup:
Did you hear about a bus full of chavs that careered off a bridge into a river? They all survived because you know how **** floats.
Man: Are you wet under your baseball cap?
Chav: No, of course not! How can I be? It's not even raining!
Man: Yeah, but I still see a big drip.
Whats the difference between an onion and a dying chav?
Onions make you cry
2 chavs in a car without any music. Whos driving?
The police.
What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter.
What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand.
Copper: You're under arrest.
Ned: What the **** for?
Copper: Swearing at a police officer!
What do you call a Chav in a boxing ring?
Whack!
Q.What do you call a chav waiting in a bus shelter?
A. At a party.
Q. What do you call a 12 year old chav girl?
A. Pregnant.
Q. Why did the chav cross the road?
A. To punch someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
Q. Why did the chav stare at the carton of Orange Juice?
A. Because it had 'concentrate' on it.
Q. What have chav ahv got in common with turtles?
A. When they're on their back they're ****ed.
Q. How does a chav girl turn the lights off after sex?
A. She closes the car door.
Q. What do you call a 30 year old chav?
A. Dunno. Ask her 17 year old son.
Q. What do you do if you run a chav over?
A. Slip it into reverse just to make sure.
Q. What do you do if you shoot a chav?
A. Reload.
Q. Why did that chav go to prison?
A. He got caught stealing pens to apply for his dole cheques with
what did the 17 year old chav call the 35 year old chavette?
nan
Q: why is the chav's coputer screen white?
A: because when they made a spelling mistake they used tip ex
"What do you call thousands of chavs being driven towards the edge of a cliff?"
- A good start.
what do you call a chav with the same IQ as their shoe size?
gifted
What do you call a chavette with two brain cells?
Intelligent.
What do you call a chavette with three brain cells?
Pregnant.
What's the difference between Windows ME and a chav bird?
Windows ME doesn't go down that often.
What do you call a chav alive?
bloody lucky!
What's brown and black and looks great on a chav? A rottweiler.
A girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the council worker
"10" replies the girl
"10?" says the council worker, "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker.
"That's easy," says the girl, "I just use their surnames".
What's the difference between a battery and a chav?
A battery has a positive side
What's the difference between a chavette and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley has a mind of it's own
Q: What do you do if you see a chav drowning?
A: Chuck in his family?
what do you get a chav thats buried upto his neck in sand?
more sand
Why couldn't the chav finish a race?
He was only good at startin!
What's the difference of watchging Eastenders and speaking to a chav?
Watching Eastenders is fun
What do you say to a chav with a responsible job?
Nothing, it'll never happen.
What's the difference between a Chavette and the Eiffel Tower
Not everyone's been up the Eiffel Tower
Carrie Bradshaw
17-07-2005, 15:49
A girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the council worker
"10" replies the girl
"10?" says the council worker, "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker.
"That's easy," says the girl, "I just use their surnames".
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: That made me laugh!!!
How do you kill a Chav?
Wait until it's having a drink then slam the toilet lid down
what's the difference between a chav and the loch ness monster?
sadly, chavs are real
Judge: What gear were you in at the moment of crashing your Nova?
Chav defendant: Reeboks and a Burbery cap.
What do you call a chav with a million pounds?
A. A burglar
Me too.
i just use there surnames. lmao
:rotfl: :lol: :rotfl: :lol: :rotfl: :lol:
di marco
17-07-2005, 17:09
they were well funny! :D
di marco
17-07-2005, 17:11
Q: what do you call a fat chav in a box?
A: innit just
Q: what do you call a chav in white clothing?
A: bright
Q: what do you say to a male chav when you want him to get into a box?
A: innit man
.:Kitz:.
17-07-2005, 17:32
LOL!! omg these jokes are hilarious!! :rotfl: :lol: :rotfl: :lol:
Hey I have a bit of chavness in me sometimes!!!
Nah I'm not a chav although I do have a burberry outfit and mine's real! I hardly wear it though.
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=5544
or try this site http://www.chavscum.co.uk/
di marco
17-07-2005, 20:48
Q: what does a cathedral and a chavs legs have in common?
A: theyre always open!
how much of a chav are you?
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=5544
i was 44%!!!! i shall die of shame now :eek:
Q: what does a cathedral and a chavs legs have in common?
A: theyre always open!
:eek:
Fabulous!
I don't see what's wrong with being chav-like?
I have the real McCoy though. Wouldn't catch me in none of that fake burberry stuff.
I do wear my burberry clothes sometimes but not all of the time and they don't fit me at the moment so I wouldn't say I'm a chav.
di marco
17-07-2005, 20:56
:eek:
Fabulous!
glad you like it wq, was trying to remember that one all day so i could post it!
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