chance
16-07-2005, 09:38
Anthony: I don?t doubt for a moment that I?d get on great with Anthony if I were in the house this year. Probably as simple as this: He loves football. Shallow as that seems, any common denominator can be a formidable bond in a group where each member in it is picked for their differences. As for his chances, I think he?s up against it now that his team has been breached. He may pay the price for forming the wrong alliances, though let?s not forget, it's we the public that decide, and being nominated counts for nothing. I?m sure there?s many a teenage girl voter who will be rooting for him. Maximum points for his Geordie accent and thinking that the crowd were booing his chaperone rather than himself during his entrance. Earth to Anthony?
Craig: As I said previously, and though I?ve tried not to, I can?t help liking Craig. He?s got that acidic camp humour I recognize from my gay friends and I?m a sucker for it. As it was with my fellow housemates in Big Brother 2, anyone who makes me laugh (Bubble, Brian, Helen) is alright with me. Once more though I fear Craig may well fall foul of joining the wrong side. Isolating yourself, either individually or into a clique is not a wise tactic. Also he sports a bizarre camp Norfolk twang that would not be out of place on Little Britain.
Derek: As if to prove beyond a doubt that genetics is no match for environment and upbringing, the selectors at Endemol produce Derek. Golly gosh! Where on Earth did they find him? To say that he has a superiority complex would be like saying Pele was quite good at football. Mind you, in Derek?s defence, he has been subjected to the sort of rudeness and ignorance that he probably would have never dreamed possible. For someone who has obviously been ?brought up proper,? the chav?esque rantings of his housemates must seem altogether alien, and a man of his undeniable intellect was rightly horrified when he realised that the date of the Second World War eluded them. I hate his politics and his snobbery, but he has been possibly the best value for money housemate I have ever had the pleasure in observing. Makes Andi Peters look like Malcolm X.
Eugene: There?s something irresistibly likeable about someone who is naﶥ enough to put two cans on his head and squawk ?I?m an alien.? You can only assume that Eugene watched the hopelessly inept ?I?m A Alien? character on the Fast Show and thought, ?What an hilarious man! I?d like to be just like him!? Here?s a crazy idea : Eugene?s innocence might just steer him to the crown of Big Brother 6! It?s clear that none of his fellow housemates see him as a threat, so he should evade nomination, and as far as the public goes, what?s not to like? He?s a genuine person, and God knows there aren?t that many of them on display this year. Vote Eugene.
Kemal: Hhmmmm. I just don?t know about Kemal. He?s entertaining enough, exercising a flair for drama as well as his own particular brand of gay humour. He made a fabulous entrance on the first night, and without Makosi gobbling up the glamour points, would flourish in the role I?m sure. In fact, I think Makosi is Kemal?s biggest problem. Though they share a weird friendship I think he?d probably sleep easier if she weren?t there at all. He could make it to the last three if things go his way. On the down side the boy is patently self-obsessed and I?m sure if you had to live with him you?d quickly want to slap him up side his head.
Kinga: What the?? Dear Lord. I still have no idea what Kinga?s personality was after such a small cameo on the show, but one thing?s for certain; I would last around 8 minutes in her company before I started thinking about first degree murder. She was like a normal chubby fool who had been turned up to 11. Way too much for me and I was glad she didn?t make it into an already chaotic mix of housemates. To her credit she has doubtless cemented her place in reality TV history for the quickest ?Tits Out? ever.
Lesley: Not my (FF) cup of tea at all. Bit too loud, bit too rude, bit too ropey. Anyone who uses breast size as a yardstick for EVERYTHING has a way to go along the road to enlightenment. Great accent though.
Makosi: Without doubt the oddest housemate this time around. What?s with the lying? She really can?t seem to help herself. I can?t work her out, if I?m honest. Luckily for her she has managed to capture lots of airtime, using her sparkly smile and impressive afro to good effect. I had her down as the show?s winner as soon as she was named as the first unlucky housemate, and the way the highlight show?s are going I can?t see any reason to change my bet. Minus points are incurred for her incorrect use of the third person when speaking. Dean hates it when people do that.
Mary: Can?t say I saw much of Mary. Her entrance was rubbish. It was like Michael Crawford had been cast in the Lord of The Rings, getting the cloak snagged on the car and, at one point I noticed, heading the wrong way! She was never going to last, and to be honest she didn?t seem emotionally stable enough to be put through the Big Brother ordeal in the first place. Having said all that she appeared to be one of few genuine people in the house this year. Probably the best publicity photo ever as well.
Maxwell: I liked Maxwell early on and then I didn?t like him so much, but still, every so often he utters something that makes me howl. I loved his nomination of Roberto, ?If he?s not thinking about food, he?s talking about food, if he?s not talking about food, he?s moaning about food? etc. etc. Unfortunately I think his game plan has blown up in his face, and I?m equally sure that his Gooner mates watching back home in North London wish that he?d put some distance between Saskia and himself. Whether it?s a genuine relationship or not, they don?t do each other any favours in the popularity stakes when they are together. He may well survive when their relationship dissolves this Friday, and once more become a player in this game. That is if the group decides to forgive him his trespasses.
Orlaith: Like many people I?ve had the pleasure of meeting who hail from Northern Ireland Orlaith seems to be likable and well grounded. She survived the secret garden with Kinga and Eugene and should probably win ?100,000 for that alone. She obviously has her head screwed on and is up to playing the game by joining the infinitely more popular Makosi crew. I?d be happy to see her do well, though I doubt she?ll shake her biggest handicap in this race: her good looks. P.S. Eat more.
Roberto: Oh Roberto, why did you ever apply my son? I liked this Scouse Italian from day one, and imagine that, had we shared the same Big Brother, we would have been friends. However it was quickly obvious that Roberto wasn?t made of the right stuff to do well on reality TV. Basic rules for survival are : 1. Keep a lid on your emotions. 2. Don?t cause friction and 3. Keep your head down. Oops. I would guess that Roberto woke on the Saturday after his eviction with a broad grin, knowing that he could, cook, do his press-ups or whatever in total peace. My hat?s off to him for not actually laying anyone out, for there were many times when it looked like he was seriously considering doing just that.
Sam: I think Sam?s was a very poor performance on Big Brother, in fact aside from Sunita I can?t think of anyone across all 6 series who?s had less impact. Once she had proclaimed that she was a virtual sex addict during her audition she had painted herself into a corner. The only way for her to live up to her own hype would have been to get it on with someone in double quick time, or spend the days indulging in constant self-love under her duvet. The fact that neither of these things occurred and her nymphomania manifested itself as mere semi-nudity, proved her dishonest at best. Not really good enough. Must try harder. On the plus side she was a very attractive woman who, until she smiled at least, looked like a young Tara Fitzgerald. But what?s that got to do with anything I hear you ask. We all know that good looks do not win you Big Brother titles. Take Big Brother 2 for example; the ugly one romped off with the prizes while the dashing, thinking-woman?s crumpet sadly came third.
Saskia: I think that Saskia will review her time on the show and be disappointed. For me at least she started out as an amiable, strong female character who, aside from the odd wobbly comment regarding foreigners coming over here to bomb us (?), seemed to be sound. Over the past few weeks though its all gone ugly. As I said previously, you have to stick to the rules of survival and rule number 1 clearly states: Keep a lid on your emotions. The few times Saskia has let rip she has displayed a malicious streak a yard wide. Whether its actually in her make up or whether it?s a reaction to her extra-ordinary reality TV situation, it makes her look bad. During the highlights she has been shown sitting around, staring off into space apparently scheming, while petting Maxwell as though he were a faithful hound. Not a good look for either of them. Perhaps this portrayal of them is in fact far from the truth and simply what Endemol choose to show as ?highlights?, but the fact is if you give the people making this show enough ammunition they?ll shoot you down. For reference see Big Brother 2 Uncut and Dean?s rant about Destiny?s Child. Ouch.
Science: Great hair when it?s let loose, but this junior would have probably made me quit the show had I shared a house with him. He?s way too loud and way to cocky and way too?Science. I would imagine he?d be insufferable to share even the briefest moment of time with. Mind you he has provided me with the surreal image of a Black Yorkshireman sharing tales from the ?ghetto? then almost weeping at being denied ?Heenz? salad cream. Priceless. Never a big fan of Science at school and very little has changed.
Craig: As I said previously, and though I?ve tried not to, I can?t help liking Craig. He?s got that acidic camp humour I recognize from my gay friends and I?m a sucker for it. As it was with my fellow housemates in Big Brother 2, anyone who makes me laugh (Bubble, Brian, Helen) is alright with me. Once more though I fear Craig may well fall foul of joining the wrong side. Isolating yourself, either individually or into a clique is not a wise tactic. Also he sports a bizarre camp Norfolk twang that would not be out of place on Little Britain.
Derek: As if to prove beyond a doubt that genetics is no match for environment and upbringing, the selectors at Endemol produce Derek. Golly gosh! Where on Earth did they find him? To say that he has a superiority complex would be like saying Pele was quite good at football. Mind you, in Derek?s defence, he has been subjected to the sort of rudeness and ignorance that he probably would have never dreamed possible. For someone who has obviously been ?brought up proper,? the chav?esque rantings of his housemates must seem altogether alien, and a man of his undeniable intellect was rightly horrified when he realised that the date of the Second World War eluded them. I hate his politics and his snobbery, but he has been possibly the best value for money housemate I have ever had the pleasure in observing. Makes Andi Peters look like Malcolm X.
Eugene: There?s something irresistibly likeable about someone who is naﶥ enough to put two cans on his head and squawk ?I?m an alien.? You can only assume that Eugene watched the hopelessly inept ?I?m A Alien? character on the Fast Show and thought, ?What an hilarious man! I?d like to be just like him!? Here?s a crazy idea : Eugene?s innocence might just steer him to the crown of Big Brother 6! It?s clear that none of his fellow housemates see him as a threat, so he should evade nomination, and as far as the public goes, what?s not to like? He?s a genuine person, and God knows there aren?t that many of them on display this year. Vote Eugene.
Kemal: Hhmmmm. I just don?t know about Kemal. He?s entertaining enough, exercising a flair for drama as well as his own particular brand of gay humour. He made a fabulous entrance on the first night, and without Makosi gobbling up the glamour points, would flourish in the role I?m sure. In fact, I think Makosi is Kemal?s biggest problem. Though they share a weird friendship I think he?d probably sleep easier if she weren?t there at all. He could make it to the last three if things go his way. On the down side the boy is patently self-obsessed and I?m sure if you had to live with him you?d quickly want to slap him up side his head.
Kinga: What the?? Dear Lord. I still have no idea what Kinga?s personality was after such a small cameo on the show, but one thing?s for certain; I would last around 8 minutes in her company before I started thinking about first degree murder. She was like a normal chubby fool who had been turned up to 11. Way too much for me and I was glad she didn?t make it into an already chaotic mix of housemates. To her credit she has doubtless cemented her place in reality TV history for the quickest ?Tits Out? ever.
Lesley: Not my (FF) cup of tea at all. Bit too loud, bit too rude, bit too ropey. Anyone who uses breast size as a yardstick for EVERYTHING has a way to go along the road to enlightenment. Great accent though.
Makosi: Without doubt the oddest housemate this time around. What?s with the lying? She really can?t seem to help herself. I can?t work her out, if I?m honest. Luckily for her she has managed to capture lots of airtime, using her sparkly smile and impressive afro to good effect. I had her down as the show?s winner as soon as she was named as the first unlucky housemate, and the way the highlight show?s are going I can?t see any reason to change my bet. Minus points are incurred for her incorrect use of the third person when speaking. Dean hates it when people do that.
Mary: Can?t say I saw much of Mary. Her entrance was rubbish. It was like Michael Crawford had been cast in the Lord of The Rings, getting the cloak snagged on the car and, at one point I noticed, heading the wrong way! She was never going to last, and to be honest she didn?t seem emotionally stable enough to be put through the Big Brother ordeal in the first place. Having said all that she appeared to be one of few genuine people in the house this year. Probably the best publicity photo ever as well.
Maxwell: I liked Maxwell early on and then I didn?t like him so much, but still, every so often he utters something that makes me howl. I loved his nomination of Roberto, ?If he?s not thinking about food, he?s talking about food, if he?s not talking about food, he?s moaning about food? etc. etc. Unfortunately I think his game plan has blown up in his face, and I?m equally sure that his Gooner mates watching back home in North London wish that he?d put some distance between Saskia and himself. Whether it?s a genuine relationship or not, they don?t do each other any favours in the popularity stakes when they are together. He may well survive when their relationship dissolves this Friday, and once more become a player in this game. That is if the group decides to forgive him his trespasses.
Orlaith: Like many people I?ve had the pleasure of meeting who hail from Northern Ireland Orlaith seems to be likable and well grounded. She survived the secret garden with Kinga and Eugene and should probably win ?100,000 for that alone. She obviously has her head screwed on and is up to playing the game by joining the infinitely more popular Makosi crew. I?d be happy to see her do well, though I doubt she?ll shake her biggest handicap in this race: her good looks. P.S. Eat more.
Roberto: Oh Roberto, why did you ever apply my son? I liked this Scouse Italian from day one, and imagine that, had we shared the same Big Brother, we would have been friends. However it was quickly obvious that Roberto wasn?t made of the right stuff to do well on reality TV. Basic rules for survival are : 1. Keep a lid on your emotions. 2. Don?t cause friction and 3. Keep your head down. Oops. I would guess that Roberto woke on the Saturday after his eviction with a broad grin, knowing that he could, cook, do his press-ups or whatever in total peace. My hat?s off to him for not actually laying anyone out, for there were many times when it looked like he was seriously considering doing just that.
Sam: I think Sam?s was a very poor performance on Big Brother, in fact aside from Sunita I can?t think of anyone across all 6 series who?s had less impact. Once she had proclaimed that she was a virtual sex addict during her audition she had painted herself into a corner. The only way for her to live up to her own hype would have been to get it on with someone in double quick time, or spend the days indulging in constant self-love under her duvet. The fact that neither of these things occurred and her nymphomania manifested itself as mere semi-nudity, proved her dishonest at best. Not really good enough. Must try harder. On the plus side she was a very attractive woman who, until she smiled at least, looked like a young Tara Fitzgerald. But what?s that got to do with anything I hear you ask. We all know that good looks do not win you Big Brother titles. Take Big Brother 2 for example; the ugly one romped off with the prizes while the dashing, thinking-woman?s crumpet sadly came third.
Saskia: I think that Saskia will review her time on the show and be disappointed. For me at least she started out as an amiable, strong female character who, aside from the odd wobbly comment regarding foreigners coming over here to bomb us (?), seemed to be sound. Over the past few weeks though its all gone ugly. As I said previously, you have to stick to the rules of survival and rule number 1 clearly states: Keep a lid on your emotions. The few times Saskia has let rip she has displayed a malicious streak a yard wide. Whether its actually in her make up or whether it?s a reaction to her extra-ordinary reality TV situation, it makes her look bad. During the highlights she has been shown sitting around, staring off into space apparently scheming, while petting Maxwell as though he were a faithful hound. Not a good look for either of them. Perhaps this portrayal of them is in fact far from the truth and simply what Endemol choose to show as ?highlights?, but the fact is if you give the people making this show enough ammunition they?ll shoot you down. For reference see Big Brother 2 Uncut and Dean?s rant about Destiny?s Child. Ouch.
Science: Great hair when it?s let loose, but this junior would have probably made me quit the show had I shared a house with him. He?s way too loud and way to cocky and way too?Science. I would imagine he?d be insufferable to share even the briefest moment of time with. Mind you he has provided me with the surreal image of a Black Yorkshireman sharing tales from the ?ghetto? then almost weeping at being denied ?Heenz? salad cream. Priceless. Never a big fan of Science at school and very little has changed.