Hollyoaks Quotes!

[Chris_2k11]

Tony: How about we have a picture near the cooker, me in my natural environment!
Mandy: :rolleyes:

:lol:

[Katy]

there were some really good ones tonight.
Tony was good when he was asking about what clothes to wear.

Tony:I thought i could wear my natrual clothes
Photographer:Well whatever you thinks best.

[Chris_2k11]

Just watching the omnibus and heard this one..

Sarah to Rhys: It's only my Mum, what's the worse that could happen?!

Haha it reminded me of the Dr Pepper advert :lol: "Kathy Barnessss... what's the worse that could happennnn!!" :lol:

haha a lot in her case! :ninja:

[x Amby x]

This is one from the E4 first look episode, i heard it and thought it was funny!

Nicole: I saw you with your tongue down Justin Burtons throat, now i've never been to teacher training school but im guessing thats a no-no!

[di marco]

tony: ive got a fungal infection!

lol!
it was funny the way they were all talking and he just came out with it, me and my sis were in hysterics for ages! :D

[Chris_2k11]

Becca: Take a seat..
Nicole: Don't mind if I do. :cool:

:lol: haha Nicole was good tonight!

[Chris_2k11]

Max to Tony: Look after her. :crying:

[x Amby x]

Jake: Im the father, i have responsability in this!

Well not necessarily Jake! lol

[Katy]

Rhys What happened to your job
Gilly It was in a biscuit factory and they wanted me to wear a hairnet, No one has Gilly in a hairnet for minimum wage!!

That made me laugh.

[Katy]

Girls - Happy Birthday Nancy
Nancy - Auntie Nancy actually.

The look on nicoles face was priceless.

[Chris_2k11]

Josh: The only person he's got left there is Phillis!
Mummy Ashworth: Phillis?!
Grandad Ashworth: It's just a casual thing :love:

lol! :D I think the Grandad's quite funny.

[Katy]

yeh the grandad is funny. I liked the one he said to Fletch the other day

FletchI never knew how easy it was to sneak you in, ill have to bring home the girls
Grandad Ashworth Stick to what your good at.

[di marco]

tom: women! :rolleyes:

hes so sweet bless! :D

[di marco]

justin: i love her and she loves me
liz: stop saying that
justin: i love her!

[di marco]

ob (reading the story to tom): the evil stepmother said "mirror mirror on the wall whos the fairest of them all?" and the mirror replied, "not you clare you ugly dog!"

it was something along those lines! :D

[di marco]

tom (to clare): are you the evil stepmother?

haha, you gotta love tom! :D

[Chris_2k11]

Nancy: Just shut up Nicole! :mad:

Well said Nancy! :bow:

[Chris_2k11]

ob (reading the story to tom): the evil stepmother said "mirror mirror on the wall whos the fairest of them all?" and the mirror replied, "not you clare you ugly dog!"

it was something along those lines! :Dhahaha that was so funny! :rotfl: And Tom was like 'huh?' :confused: :lol:

[Katy]

Yeh, Tom was so funny the other night, especially the "woman" one.

I liked the quotes between Liz and Frankie at Beccas.

Frankie Maybe You have a thing for bad boys, him being a criminal and all that
Liz Well she was scared you know how your Jakes got a temper.

It was something simular to that.

[Florijo]

Yeh, Tom was so funny the other night, especially the "woman" one.

I liked the quotes between Liz and Frankie at Beccas.

Frankie Maybe You have a thing for bad boys, him being a criminal and all that
Liz Well she was scared you know how your Jakes got a temper.

It was something simular to that.

I think it was:

Frankie: Maybe you have a thing about bad boys, he was up for murder, turn you on did it?
Liz: He was cleared of that
Frankie: Well, why else would she be attracted to a silly little schoolboy?

It was so funny when they were meant to be having a go at Becca and started having a go at each other. :D

[Katy]

yeh that was it, you have a better memory than me.

[x Amby x]

Darren: Well hes gonna be a legend at his school
Craig: Shut up Darren
Darren: Well i mean its every schoolboys dream, and Burtons gone and done it

Russ: Come on Darren lets go
Darren: Let me get another beer... Oh Justin, Fair play man!

lol Darren made me laugh!

[x Amby x]

Rhys: And Dad will be lying there Tina, Marie, Anna... (Some names along the lines of those)
Suzanne: What about me?
Josh: Well thats only if you're dead!
Rhys: And then Josh's wife will be like 'Oh she wa s ahard woman that Suzanne'
Josh: So you think i'll get married
Rhys: We're being hypothetical!

Lol Rhys made me laugh!

[Chris_2k11]

Max: Open ya bag
Michela: Get lost, it's personal!
Max: Open ya bag :rolleyes:
Michela: Why, you some sort of perv?!
Max: Open ya bag :rolleyes:
Michela: Quick run! :rotfl:

[shannisrules]

tony-self centered
jake-self absorbed
tony-we've hade that one
jake-well cant we have it again

i loved those bits when they were drinking the wine saying loads of words to describe women

[x Amby x]

Max: There was another girl with her
Sarah: Let me guess Michaela McQueen, Blonde hair, big gob
Max: Thats her!

[Chris_2k11]

Mother Mcqueen: Amy told me you'd been on the dole a while!
Mike: Just a career change actually..
Mother Mcqueen: BONE IDLE MORE LIKE! :rotfl:

[shannisrules]

jake: what you know about women i could write on an ice cube
craig: but you can't write on an ice cube?
jake and darren:*give craig a funny look*

[Chris_2k11]

A couple from tonight's episode :rotfl:

Steph: (on about her part on the bid-tv thing) I got it! I got! :cheer:
Darren: Aww finally got your results from the clinic have you Steph :rotfl:

Darren again: We're all really sorry about what's happened Jake. *squeaky voice* Reallyyyyyy sorryyyyyy :D haha just watch it tonight, you'll soon see which bit I mean :rotfl:

[Katy]

Tonight had some classic lines. I liked Joes story about his 18th.

Joe - the bouncer that turned me away got knocked down by the 62 bus, talk about karma.

[Chris_2k11]

Another one from Joe..

"I'm a gherkin!" :) :D

[luna_lovegood]

*Jake holds a lighter above a matress doused in petrol*
Frankie - "Don't Do it Jake!" :rotfl: It was supposed to be dramatic but it was hilarious.........its a matress for heavens sake!

[Chris_2k11]

Steph: I was the biggest name there really, it wasn't really presenting... more like modeling.
Darren: Modeling? Yeahhh.. and then you woke up! :lol:

[x Amby x]

Steph: I was the biggest name there really, it wasn't really presenting... more like modeling.
Darren: Modeling? Yeahhh.. and then you woke up! :lol:
lol yeah that was funny, i love Darren at the moment, hes a good character!

[di marco]

darren: whats wrong with me?
steph: whats right with you?!

[di marco]

(just after jake has punched jack)
joe: 3 cheers for the birthday boy
(everyone glares at him)
joe: oh maybe later then!

[diamond1]

hollyoaks quotes i love where mostly from ben

in indecent behavior (talking about pulling izzy):

ben:tenner says i can do it

luke:your money

ben:20

luke:done

ben:yep she will be
-------------------------------------------------------
with izzy talking about sex

izzy:you see i like sex in dangerous places

ben:like beirut?
---------------------------------------------------------
and other ones

with lisa
lisa:shes a tramp shes so easy

ben:sounds right up my alley...i tell you what give me her number and ill sort her right out

(with debbie after a one night stand thinking he was in with a chance)
ben:can i come in?

debbie:free country and i dont bite

ben:well thats not strictly true..about last night

debbie:it was a one off

ben:exaclty what i thought

debbie:you where sweet
ben:you where hot

debbie:not gonna happen again

ben: there you go then

[Chris_2k11]

*Tom puts a choc bar in his schoolbag*

Max: You're not havin that for school.
Tom: Mandy lets me! :(
Max: Fibber!
Tom: She doesssss! :(

lol :)

[feelingyellow]

*Tom puts a choc bar in his schoolbag*

Max: You're not havin that for school.
Tom: Mandy lets me! :(
Max: Fibber!
Tom: She doesssss! :(

lol :)

Lol aww that so sweet! :wub: Little Tom's so cute! :D :wub:

[Katy]

that was so cute.

Tom can we talk to our daddy Max
Max our daddys in heaven Tom
Tom but claire spoke to her daddy on the phone

Claire looking worried

Claire Oh Maggie....

I thought that was quite funny.

[diamond1]

Tom:whats a let down in bed

oh my god!!!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: tom=legend:)

[Katy]

that was so funny he was so cute.

Louise - Do i know you, you look famillier
Warren - No i dont think so
Louise - or am i just thinking of crimewatch
~Warren - Come here you.

What a great entrance.

[Katy]

Claire Tom can you remember what me and sean were talking about yesterday
tom looks into the air thinking
Claire Oh, you cant remember
Tom Seans bed
ClaireWhat about seans bed
Tom It was a let down.

[di marco]

Claire Tom can you remember what me and sean were talking about yesterday
tom looks into the air thinking
Claire Oh, you cant remember
Tom Seans bed
ClaireWhat about seans bed
Tom It was a let down.

yeh lol that bit was well funny! :D

[x Amby x]

Tom: Can You Push Me On The Swings?
Clare: Can You Push Me On The Swings What?
Tom: Can You Push Me On The Swings PLEASE?
Clare: No!

lol i loved this bit! Even though Clare is a total bitch, shes a great character

[Chris_2k11]

Drug Dealer to Clare: Back off Bimbo! :lol:

[Chris_2k11]

Who watched the E4 episode!

Frankie: What are you then!? Mutton dressed as SPAM!! :rotfl:

[emma_strange]

Max: Pretty soon we'll be a real family, me, you and Claire
Tom: CAN I HAVE A DOG?!

[Jada-GDR]

spoiler because it was on the e4 episode

Max: Pretty soon we'll be a real family! You me and Claire!
Tom: Can we have a dog?!
Max: Uh... No!

[Chris_2k11]

Nicole: A walk? what are they pentioners now?!

:D

[x Amby x]

Band Manager: Who started in Hamburg and conquered the world?
Darren: Hitler?

[Chris_2k11]

Becca: Can you all just SHUT UP!! :mad:

:D

[di marco]

steph: what kind of sad perv would come here
girl: hi darren!

[Katy]

Manager - Here you are darren £650
Darren - Cheers mate
Steph - How much did we make
Darren £500 on the dot.

Now let me think where the 150 going to go. Darrens back pocket maybe/

[diamond1]

steph: what kind of sad perv would come here
girl: hi darren! yes that made laugh:lol:

sonny to justin...ah the legend :rotfl:

[di marco]

mel: we are homeless
sophie: we are not homeless
mel: ok we are not homeless, we just dont have a home!

it was something like that anyway lol!

[Katy]

Whilst looking through Louises fridge.

Mel - The cheese
Sophie - July 20th
Louise - hmm July 16th
Mel - JUNE 14th
Louise - What well its mature.

[Katy]

From last nights.

Tony Its been ages since weve all COME out together
OB Gone out Toghether Tony Gone out.

[Chris_2k11]

Tony: You want my advice? Always take your socks off first.. saves a lot of embarrassment!

:lol:

[Chris_2k11]

Gilly: To the left a bit! ...to the right a bit! Oh too much!
Rhys: I'll put it over ya face in a minute! :angry:
Suzanne: RHYS! :eek:

:lol:

[x Amby x]

Rhys: Sarah please, take me back?
(Sarah smiles)
Rhys: So is that a yes?
Sarah: No just watching you beg, its something to smile about!

lol i found that quite funny!

[di marco]

frankie: and im proud of jake even though he didnt go to college
darren: so youre proud of him even though hes unemployed and has killed someone?

it was something like that anyway!

[Katy]

Yeh that was funny, Your proud of an unemployed Killer. Typical Darren.
Also Craig when he was saying how much of a Genious Darren was.

[di marco]

Also Craig when he was saying how much of a Genious Darren was.

yeh he was going on about the university of life, and darren said something about being "self-made" and craig was like "thats another thing, everyone from the university of life is self-made"

[#1 SexyTink]

Rhys: Sarah please, take me back?
(Sarah smiles)
Rhys: So is that a yes?
Sarah: No just watching you beg, its something to smile about!

lol i found that quite funny!
that was a good line from sarah! loved that bit

[Chris_2k11]

Michela: What's 50% of 119?
Carmel: Erm... about half!
Michela: Erm.. yeah thanks for that.

haha!

[x Amby x]

Michela: What's 50% of 119?
Carmel: Erm... about half!
Michela: Erm.. yeah thanks for that.

haha!

lol loved that bit! I really like Carmel! I think shes a brilliant character! lol Michaelas grown on me as well!

[Chris_2k11]

Clare had some absolutely classic lines tonight!! :D


"Still hanging around then OB, no job.. no girl.. no real mates!"

"Should you really be in a pub Mel?! I mean it can't be good for you and your little.. ILLNESS can it?" :eek:

"You know me OB.. can never resist a chance to watch you make a fool of yourself." :D

"Aww the pretty twin's decided to join in on the double act has she?" :lol:

"Sorry OB, i've not long came back off my honeymoon thanks!" :lol:

"I think we've been here before boys & girls, remember!" :lol:

:cool:

[di marco]

Clare had some absolutely classic lines tonight!! :D


"Still hanging around then OB, no job.. no girl.. no real mates!"

"Should you really be in a pub Mel?! I mean it can't be good for you and your little.. ILLNESS can it?" :eek:

"You know me OB.. can never resist a chance to watch you make a fool of yourself." :D

"Aww the pretty twin's decided to join in on the double act has she?" :lol:

"Sorry OB, i've not long came back off my honeymoon thanks!" :lol:

"I think we've been here before boys & girls, remember!" :lol:

:cool:

yeh i loved clares lines last night, really good! :D

also last night, liked the bit where frankie and jack came into the church and saw steph and craig, steph said theyd all got out safely but jack was still shouting for darren

darren: im sorry, we tried to save it but we couldnt
jack: dont be silly, i dont care about the pub, i just care that youre ok

i thought that was good, darren saying how he couldnt save the pub but obviously jack doesnt care about that!

[x Amby x]

Russ: Come on Sophie, Come On
Sophie: I Love You :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:

[Chris_2k11]

Clare to Nurse: I was looking for a tissue. Gone through nearly a whole box today. :crying:


Course you have Clare. :rolleyes: Course you have. :mad:

[Katy]

Darren to Jack 70 Quid, up in smoke.

Typical Darren.

[di marco]

clare (to ob): youll be seeing your alky girlfriend a lot sooner, get her a double vodka from me! (goes to smother ob with a pillow)

:eek: i cant believe clare, shes so evil!

[di marco]

(the owens talking about sams funeral)
russ: what day do the binmen come?!

lol! :D

[Chris_2k11]

Rhys & Neville had me in fits arguing on Friday :rotfl:

Neville: I've been good friends with Kathy & Mike!
Rhys: Do you think I care about you and ya saddo mates? :D
Neville: I beg your pardon! :angry:

:rotfl:

[Chris_2k11]

Myra: Is he that bloke with the restaurant with the funny name?
Carmel: I think Tony's a very nice name!

:lol:

[Katy]

That was so funny, i love carmel. I also liked

Carmel Aww dont worry i cried buckets after my first time
Tina That was because of where it happened
Carmel Its not my fault a hurst looks just like an estate car in the dark.

[laurouski]

Jacqui (to Carmel): If a guy's only interested in your twins he's not worth it.. (referring to her breasts)

[x Amby x]

Mercedes: If you had all this money what would you do?
Jacqui: Plastic Surgery!
Mercedes: Yeh but what would you have done?
Jacqui: Sex Change!
(Mercedes looks on in dispear! lol)

[Katy]

there were some great quotes between the McQueen sisters tongiht.

I liked the one about the guy biting off the persons ear in his last fight.

[laurouski]

Darren to Jack 70 Quid, up in smoke.

Typical Darren.
I know I'm a bit late but.. I loved that one! :D

[di marco]

tom: is clare coming back?
max: i dont know
tom: if she doesnt, can ob move back in?

awwwww i love tom, hes so sweet! :D

[Katy]

that was a great quote.

"wheres OoooooooBbbbbb" as he says it.

I also liked Tom the other night when he said, I dont like Babies they smell of sick".

[laurouski]

tom: is clare coming back?
max: i dont know
tom: if she doesnt, can ob move back in?

awwwww i love tom, hes so sweet! :D
Awww, Tom's so adorable!
I want OB to move back in, too! :thumbsup:

[Katy]

I liked the one last night with justin and the dad when they were discussioning what horse to pick and they suggested Teachers pet. I cant remmeber the exact quote but it was someting along those lines.

[Petal]

Darren to Frankie about Steph sacking him again

I've been sacked more than a sacked person!

[Chris_2k11]

What was that brilliant line from Carmel the other day about spacedust and the crazy frog? :lol:

[di marco]

michaela (to josh): whyre you still talking?!

[di marco]

santa: tom cunningham, what do you want for christmas?
tom: a max mission car
santa: all the little boys have asked me for that, ill have to ask the elves to make some more
tom: and i want my big brother max to get better

awwwwwww toms so sweet

[laurouski]

santa: tom cunningham, what do you want for christmas?
tom: a max mission car
santa: all the little boys have asked me for that, ill have to ask the elves to make some more
tom: and i want my big brother max to get better

awwwwwww toms so sweet
:crying: :crying:

I really, really hope the rumours about Max dying aren't true.

[Chris_2k11]

*Calvin searches through the drawer*
Sonny: No matter how hard you try, you won't find a personality in there.

haha! Sonny's best line to date! :D

[di marco]

tom: i want clare to get lost!

tom: im not stupid, im 7, its not her flat, its ours!

[Katy]

i was going to post that, i was laughing for ages. Especially the one about being stupid.

[Abbie]

tom: i want clare to get lost!

tom: im not stupid, im 7, its not her flat, its ours!

Awwww I loved that one it made me laugh but he's so sweet

[di marco]

i was going to post that, i was laughing for ages. Especially the one about being stupid.

yeh me too, tom always makes me laugh, he has some of the best lines!

[Katy]

Kris - Theres this guy, lets call him ..... Ash Rhys Worth.

[Footie_Chick]

Kris - Theres this guy, lets call him ..... Ash Rhys Worth.

or Worth Rhys Ash, he kept changing it everytime he spoke.

[DaVeyWaVey]

Carmel: "Mercedes, your such a homophobium!"

[Katy]

That was great !!!

Frankie - My Craigs not GAY
Mercedes - Neithers my brother

shes a feisty one that Mercedes./

[Abbie]

Carmel: "Mercedes, your such a homophobium!"

Lol that was sooooo funny, that Carmel cracks me up

[Katy]

Myra - If i were on Mastermind, do you know what my specialist subject would be
JP - No
Myra - My kids, theres not one thing i dont know about each and any one of you.

Aww, that was so sweet.

Michaela to Jacqui - Lets just say your not the only one coming out today.

[x Amby x]

Darren:(To Kathy)Oh Frankie said you popped one out, OH look he looks just like Mr Barnes! Oh wait a minute i think hes got Rhys' smile!

Haha! lol you gotta love Darren!

[Chris_2k11]

Darren:(To Kathy)Oh Frankie said you popped one out, OH look he looks just like Mr Barnes! Oh wait a minute i think hes got Rhys' smile!

Haha! lol you gotta love Darren!lmao that was hilarious! Kathy's face :rotfl:

Tom: No thanks to you DARREN. you're fired! Im having an early night :rotfl: lmao with the towel round his head

[scizophonic]

there was one i loved the other week,

JP : You can't fix homophobia with a cheese and onion pasty!!!

[x Amby x]

Jacqui: I'm fed up with having to share a bed with Borat!

lol! im starting to warm to Jacqui! I think her and Tony are cute together!

[x Amby x]

Myra: Our Jacqui is a total Atheist
Carmel: She doesn't believe in God either!

Lmao! I love Carmels bimbo-ness! lol Shes great!

[Abbie]

That one made me laught so much and did you see the look on Father Ryans(?) face

[Carlyyy.maytee]

Josh:I dont climb in anyone's bedroom windows.
Amy:I dont let any random stranger in my room.

Well i was thinking what if someone had to go into Amy's room to service the radiators?

[DaVeyWaVey]

Carmel: Something awful's happened!

Louise: What is it?!

Carmel: I've fallen in love with a married man!

I can't remember the lines exactly but i loved that little bit! Carmel is really funny but sweet! :D

[Katy]

It was more her facial expression, Louise was really worried and was like hats happened and she said that, Louise was like, i thought something really serious had happened.

Carmel replied, this is serious, in that cute little voice of hers. Bless Her.

[x Amby x]

Darren: And you are...
Jacqui: Ah Jacqui and Aleksander
Darren: Which ones which? haha! Where did you meet?
Jacqui: Ah in a bar
Mercedes: Behind bars more like!

[Katy]

That was brilliant.

Russ - Looks like we'll have to cancel that horse drawn carriage. After finding out Mercedes was allergic to horse. The look on her face was priceless.

Jacqui how did you know all that
Aleksander That immigaration interview came in handy.

[Chris_2k11]

Darren: So you two are married then yeah!?
Jacqui: You should know, we had our wedding reception 'ere love!

lmao it was something like that

[StarsOfCCTV]

Zoe: "and he makes this face like a squirrel"
:lol:

[laurouski]

(After Zack accidently pulled Carmel's chair out from underneath her on their date)

Jacqui: Good job you're wearing knickers, luv! :)

[di marco]

johnpaul (to craig): sarahs upstairs, im sleeping with her. oh sorry thats your line isnt it

[di marco]

michaela (to kathy): you mad psycho woman

so true lol! :D

michaela: is it legal?
nancy: why would that bother you?

[Chris_2k11]

Tony: This is lovely Becca.. err would be proud

:D

[di marco]

craig (to jake): why you going to watch a french film, you can barely speak english

it was something like that

[di marco]

jake: i havent told your mum yet, i thought youd wanna be the one to tell her
nancy: oh right yeh totally.......................what we talking about?

[frankihope]

Tom to Mandy : Your not my mummy!

[StarsOfCCTV]

Nancy: Jake, keys

Mercedes:Russ, wallet

[*-Rooney-*]

carmel moments in court

lawyer to carmel : did you see the defendant in the club the night mrs cunningham was pushed
carmel : well he works there doesnt he, well he did until he did this, well thats if he did this

carmel : oh i've never done this before, except once for my other sister not mercedes, jacqui shes also a bit lairy

[Chris_2k11]

carmel moments in court

lawyer to carmel : did you see the defendant in the club the night mrs cunningham was pushed
carmel : well he works there doesnt he, well he did until he did this, well thats if he did this

carmel : oh i've never done this before, except once for my other sister not mercedes, jacqui shes also a bit lairy

"Mercedes wouldn't do that, shes married to Russ you see it was a double wedding - her and our Tina. ooh it were lovely!" :rotfl:

[StarsOfCCTV]

Rhys on the phone to Neville: shut up early?....family meal?....what d'you mean best behavior?

[Katy]

When Leo was doing the family trees

Calvin - you pathetic waste of a father
Danny - you got our mmums mixed up.

[StarsOfCCTV]

Steph: "How come my straight brother can get a boyfriend and I can't?"

[*-Rooney-*]

(just as sarah walks in on craig and JP)
Frankie (continues her speech): craig come out where ever you are

[*-Rooney-*]

michaela: my brothers gayer than yours

[Chris_2k11]

Clare: How do I know he's dead
Warren: Sorry didn't have time to get a death certificate :D

[StarsOfCCTV]

Tom: (rolls eyes) Women :lol:

[retrohead]

What do you call a blonde with intelligence?

A labrador :cheer:

Was that Danny Valentine?

[Jada-GDR]

"He's not a goth, he's an emo! Whatever that is..."

[StarsOfCCTV]

Nancy: Are you ok?
Zoe: No, are you?
Nancy......No.

[*-Rooney-*]

kathy: its awful to think that someone hates you that much

[Chris_2k11]

Carmel: IT'S HER! *points*

[Katy]

Kathy - At Least my daughter doesn't spend all day chucking up

FIGHT !!!!

[*-Rooney-*]

mercedes: are you trying to say im easy? :rotfl:

[Chris_2k11]

mercedes: are you trying to say im easy? :rotfl:lmao classic!

[Chris_2k11]

Holly: Put the muffin DOWN :rotfl: