chance
08-07-2005, 09:20
Maxwell complained to Big Brother about the underpants that were provided for him.
The Londoner, tipsy after a few drinks, went into the Diary Room to moan about his underwear as he felt they wouldn't help him with the ladies.
"If I stay tomorrow I'll have to continue wearing these," he said holding up the extra-large, white underpants.
"I know you're trying to build me up as a bit of an icon to the ladies, but this does me no favours. None of my pants do me any favours."
He was reminded that Big Brother had provided him with perfectly wearable pants.
"I'm not being funny, but would you want your boyfriend to wear a g-string? That's what you provided me with...a g-string with 'I Love Spurs' on it," moaned that ardent Arsenal fan. "Well, I don't love them and I'd have me nuggets hanging out the side...especially now it's been a long time." In fact, he burnt them rather than wearing them.
Still staring at the huge, offending undercrackers he went on to moan: "It's like a tablecloth! I wouldn't be surprised if Ellen MacArthur called up and said 'I'm doing another trip around the globe and want to do it in 20 minutes, can I borrow Maxwell's pants?' because if a gust of wind catches these bad boys you're going places."
Sadly for him, he'll have to keep wearing them as long as he's in the House. But it wasn't all bad.
"On the plus side," he said turning them inside out, "they're clean as a whistle!"
Well, at least that's something.
The Londoner, tipsy after a few drinks, went into the Diary Room to moan about his underwear as he felt they wouldn't help him with the ladies.
"If I stay tomorrow I'll have to continue wearing these," he said holding up the extra-large, white underpants.
"I know you're trying to build me up as a bit of an icon to the ladies, but this does me no favours. None of my pants do me any favours."
He was reminded that Big Brother had provided him with perfectly wearable pants.
"I'm not being funny, but would you want your boyfriend to wear a g-string? That's what you provided me with...a g-string with 'I Love Spurs' on it," moaned that ardent Arsenal fan. "Well, I don't love them and I'd have me nuggets hanging out the side...especially now it's been a long time." In fact, he burnt them rather than wearing them.
Still staring at the huge, offending undercrackers he went on to moan: "It's like a tablecloth! I wouldn't be surprised if Ellen MacArthur called up and said 'I'm doing another trip around the globe and want to do it in 20 minutes, can I borrow Maxwell's pants?' because if a gust of wind catches these bad boys you're going places."
Sadly for him, he'll have to keep wearing them as long as he's in the House. But it wasn't all bad.
"On the plus side," he said turning them inside out, "they're clean as a whistle!"
Well, at least that's something.