chance
18-06-2005, 12:58
As a hairdresser, Craig meets people from all walks of life. And as a result he has built up a huge range of knowledge and become a self-proclaimed expert in most subjects.
Take aliens for example. Craig seems to have extensive information on the subject, and is quite happy to ramble on about the Elohim at length - that's the aliens that brought us to Earth, for those not in the know. "Apparently there was an uprising and another alien race came and exterminated them," he once casually commented to a bemused Sam.
Craig has even written a paper on Ancient Egypt and its links with aliens. Only Mary after her seven abductions could rival Craig for extra-terrestrial insight.
The mastermind is a whiz in the laboratory too with an indisputable understanding of molecular structure. He dismissed Kemal's desperate attempts to separate the salt and sugar mixture Maxwell had made, ruling that it was simply impossible without a distilling machine. "Salt and sugar are very similar molecule-wise," the supposed scientist explained.
He also tried to set Makosi straight after her weather plane claims. Craig quickly corrected her suggestion that jet trails were chemicals used to manipulate the climate, saying, "No, it's oxygen." Perhaps he hasn't heard of the whole aircraft pollution problem.
But Craig isn't just a scientific mind. He has also turned his hand to linguistics, inventing a Big Brother language based on the sounds of Babylonian that he picked up from telly. He has thought up three words so far: 'kiana' for chair, 'kianawee' for sofa and 'verushna' for oven. Won't be long until he has a whole sentence.
Of course, such a great mind is just shouting out to be put to use curing society's ills, and Craig has already tackled the problem of drugs. "It's a common misconception that the crackheads are the ones that look like they are on drugs," he wisely imparted.
Surely a place in Parliament awaits? Maybe Derek can sort him out. But will Clever Craig's bulging brain help him outwit his Housemates? We'll have to wait and see...
Take aliens for example. Craig seems to have extensive information on the subject, and is quite happy to ramble on about the Elohim at length - that's the aliens that brought us to Earth, for those not in the know. "Apparently there was an uprising and another alien race came and exterminated them," he once casually commented to a bemused Sam.
Craig has even written a paper on Ancient Egypt and its links with aliens. Only Mary after her seven abductions could rival Craig for extra-terrestrial insight.
The mastermind is a whiz in the laboratory too with an indisputable understanding of molecular structure. He dismissed Kemal's desperate attempts to separate the salt and sugar mixture Maxwell had made, ruling that it was simply impossible without a distilling machine. "Salt and sugar are very similar molecule-wise," the supposed scientist explained.
He also tried to set Makosi straight after her weather plane claims. Craig quickly corrected her suggestion that jet trails were chemicals used to manipulate the climate, saying, "No, it's oxygen." Perhaps he hasn't heard of the whole aircraft pollution problem.
But Craig isn't just a scientific mind. He has also turned his hand to linguistics, inventing a Big Brother language based on the sounds of Babylonian that he picked up from telly. He has thought up three words so far: 'kiana' for chair, 'kianawee' for sofa and 'verushna' for oven. Won't be long until he has a whole sentence.
Of course, such a great mind is just shouting out to be put to use curing society's ills, and Craig has already tackled the problem of drugs. "It's a common misconception that the crackheads are the ones that look like they are on drugs," he wisely imparted.
Surely a place in Parliament awaits? Maybe Derek can sort him out. But will Clever Craig's bulging brain help him outwit his Housemates? We'll have to wait and see...