high and dry

[chance]

Maxwell, Anthony and Saskia complained that their stint as pirates on the high seas is missing one key element - booze.

To ensure authenticity the buccaneers bundled into the Diary Room to demand some grog.

"We're not even halfway there being pirates, cos half the time pirates are off their nut," Maxwell complained. "I can't even remember what a beer tastes like."

"Four days it's been," sighed Saskia.

After an unsympathetic reaction from Big Beard, Maxwell argued a drop of rum might cause some action below decks.

"You might even see a little bit of loving!" leered the Londoner.

Asked just who the loving would be between, the Gooner responded, "Well Kemal's pretty randy."

He thought Saskia might also be interested. "If she plies me with drink all night she might get a piece if she's lucky," cheeky Maxwell predicted.

But Big Beard still couldn't grasp why the shipmates needed the barrels of booze so much.

Growing restless Maxwell sniped, "It's nice to get merry, you should try it some time!"

Mouthy Maxwell should watch out or he might find himself in Davey Jones' Locker.