Secrets

[Ruffed_lemur]

How do you deal with secrets? I know some have a sort of " no secrets " bond with their partners, but it's not very good when a valued friend confides in you. I keep secrets for people, but have been tempted very rarely to spill to someone close.

[Abbie]

Im so good at keeping secrets, theres some stuff that no one knows about me and when a friend confides in me Im very god in keeping it, the only time I think it can be awkward is when a person is talking to you about that friend and your in the conversation and know wht theyve told you which could explain something that this person is wondering about or just linked to what your talking about - if that makes sense :p

[Ruffed_lemur]

Yes that makes sense. Always interesting to hear 2 different people's versions of events too. It can be awkward though.

[Abigail]

Secrets destroy lives and families. My whole family has been turned upside down by secrets kept over the last 40 years that have emerged over the last six months. I'm not talking about kissing somebody else's boyfriend here, I'm talking about abuse and cover ups and questionable paternity. Whatever people's reasons for keeping secrets, however honourable their intentions are, it just causes pain at some stage later in life.

The thing about secrets is the truth always comes out in the end, whether you want it to or not.

[Siobhan]

How do you deal with secrets? I know some have a sort of " no secrets " bond with their partners, but it's not very good when a valued friend confides in you. I keep secrets for people, but have been tempted very rarely to spill to someone close.

I keep secrets but little ones like "don't tell anyone else I am pregnant" etc... I don't have any secrets to keep from my partner but i find he is great if I do have little secrets as I tell him and I know he won't see the person or say anything so it is out of my system but I haven't let the other person down... I advise my kids not to keep secrets from me..

[Perdita]

My job and volunteering work means strict confidentiality and I won't even talk about it at home, OH will occasionally ask questions if he knows the person I have been dealing with but I just say that I am on the case or that all is sorted and no more. I agree, it can be interesting if you hear something about another person from somebody else which you already know or is somewhat different :p

[Ruffed_lemur]

Sorry Abigail, I didn't mean anything too serious. :o More about friends confiding things in each other, or just privacy.

[Siobhan]

Sorry Abigail, I didn't mean anything too serious. :o More about friends confiding things in each other, or just privacy.

this is what I mean too.. I normally tell my boyfriend if it is my outside work friends and my niece if it is work friends cause I know they won't see each other.. it gets it out of my system and although I have passed it on, I don't feel I have blabbed anything cause I am telling people who don't know the person telling me the secret but it gets it out of my system...
My mum is general good for this cause she knows none of my friends. For things happening at work that are confidental, I don't tell anyone

[Dazzle]

I feel that if I promise to keep a secret, then I'm obliged to do so.

[Ruffed_lemur]

I feel that if I promise to keep a secret, then I'm obliged to do so.

Me too. I value people's trust. :)

[Abbie]

I value peoples trust, I also know out of my friends who I trust more

[Chloe O'brien]

If someone tells me something in confience like they say this is between you and me I will keep it a secret. If I', worried about something I have been told I would advise the friend to speak to others. I confined more in close friends than I do with my family. It's crap I know but I trust my close friends more.

[Ruffed_lemur]

I value peoples trust, I also know out of my friends who I trust more

It may seem strange but I have friends I don't trust much, or would that make them more acquaintances? They've told me things about other people I either don't believe or think they're trying to cause trouble. On these occasions I've been tempted to tell the people they're talking about, but I haven't. Not sure they would believe it if I did, and might only bring trouble.

[Abbie]

It may seem strange but I have friends I don't trust much, or would that make them more acquaintances? They've told me things about other people I either don't believe or think they're trying to cause trouble. On these occasions I've been tempted to tell the people they're talking about, but I haven't. Not sure they would believe it if I did, and might only bring trouble.

Dont worry that makes total sense to me
Even the friends that I do trust there are some stuff that I havent told anyway, just because I want to keep it to myself or its one of those things that I just dont know how to bring up