Ben

[tammyy2j]

Are they going to do a self harming storyline with him?

The other night he was kinda doing damage to himself when he was at Heather's flat

[Siobhan]

I noticed that too... I think it is probably going to be one of the affect of Stella.. didn't she self harm too and she kept hurting and pinching him...

[StarsOfCCTV]

I heard on this morning that he does the stuff that Stella did to him, to Louise - and becomes the brother from hell.

[Siobhan]

I heard on this morning that he does the stuff that Stella did to him, to Louise - and becomes the brother from hell.

interesting.. they do say that the abused usually end up abusing.. this will be an interesting storyline to tackle as you have a child abusing a child..

[tammyy2j]

Ben a bully like daddy Phil

[Dazzle]

It'll be especially interesting given that Ben is the last boy you'd think would behave like that.

[lizann]

This could be a good storyline if done and acted well

[moonstorm]

I quite like the sound of this storyline but I am with Lizann, it will have to be acted very well for us to believe it.

[owenlee4me]

many suffer and never want to put others through what they have suffered,
so to say abused normally end up abusing is an example of small minds!
if a child has a degree of genuine love and affection in their life,they can move on and have a happy life too, not all abused end up cruel![/B]

[Perdita]

Ben is feeling jealous of the attention Louise is now getting from Phil and was Louise not horrible to him when she first arrived? Guess that Ben has not had the genuine love and affection he is constantly craving and finds it too difficult to cope with another rival for Phil's attention.

[Siobhan]

many suffer and never want to put others through what they have suffered,
so to say abused normally end up abusing is an example of small minds!
if a child has a degree of genuine love and affection in their life,they can move on and have a happy life too, not all abused end up cruel![/B]

it is not a matter of small minds.. it happens a lot and it has nothing to do with love or affection.. if you are a child and put in a house with abuse and lack of love, it is all you know and you act on the experience of your parents.. they set the example for you.. If they are abusing you and "claiming" it is because they "love" you then that is all you know and how you will interact with others.
Yes, there is a lot of help out there and there are a lot of cases where it does not happen. Some stats for you:

# About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.
# About 80% of 21 year old that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.
# 14% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children
# 36% of all women in prison were abused as children
# Children who experience child abuse & neglect are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, and 30% more likely to commit violent crime.


Just wanted to add.. we are talking about Ben here. Mother and Father died when he was young, sent to his brother to find that his dad bullied to get him. Phil is a volient man, telling Ben he can't be a dancer, he as to do man stuff. Then enter Stella, you abused him badly and said it was for love.. and now we have Louise who he believes wants to get rid of him. We have seen Ben self harm and now he is been bullied at school

[Dazzle]

I think the moral of the story here is that, while many who are abused go on to commit their own abuse, many also do not. It's obviously a sore point for owenlee4me.

I think it's certainly a reasonable storyline that Ben would become a bully after what he's been through, but that doesn't mean I think that everyone who's been through similar would become a bully.

[Siobhan]

I think the moral of the story here is that, while many who are abused go on to commit their own abuse, many also do not. It's obviously a sore point for owenlee4me.

I think it's certainly a reasonable storyline that Ben would become a bully after what he's been through, but that doesn't mean I think that everyone who's been through similar would become a bully.

I am not disagreeing with Owenlee4me, I was just pointing out that it happens when the comment was made about been small minded.. I also said that it doesn't always happen that these kids need care and love in order to stop a cycle that can happen and also to explain that if this is the only type of love a person knows, then they will express themselves in the same way

[Dazzle]

You make a very good point, Siobhan, and I wasn't disagreeing with you either. Rather, I was agreeing with both of you - it that's possible :eek:

[Siobhan]

You make a very good point, Siobhan, and I wasn't disagreeing with you either. Rather, I was agreeing with both of you - it that's possible :eek:

Yeah cause I am agreeing with both off us too...

[Dazzle]

Just to clarify - I wasn't agreeing with the "small minded" tag.

[Dutchgirl]

Well it is how the psyche works. To feel good about yourself you some times have to hurt others. I work with children with special needs and often see that the bullied become bulliers.