Bullying & Schools

[Debs]

Have a problem, C is being bullied at school. Well i say bullied as that is what im classing it as now!
since he started this school in septemeber this boy has become a problem, a few weeks ago he shoved connor onto the ground and put his hands round his neck, this wasnt the first incident but was the moment i sat up and thought oh hmm!!! c worked himself up all weekend and was sick the nigth before a trip, the trip was to the cinema on the train and was worried that this child was going to push him under teh train!!

now things have happened since and i went in to complain to th ehead about something else on monday, but also bought up the child being nasty to c! he wasnt very sympathetic in fact i didnt feel i got much from him at all!

now today connor has come home saying he has not had a good day and while playing football the horrid child was trying to push him over and generally not being nice to him! the next break the child came up to con and said 'you want some more of that' con said he was saying it in his ear quite nastily, and con thinks he means more pushing and trying to get him on teh ground again. this boy tells other children to try and do stuff to connor as well! but he also told connor he was going to pull him up on the roof and give him more!!!!!!!! :angry:

ive talked to his teacher, ive been to the ead and im going back tomorrow. But what im not happy with is the attitude to bullies!! connor told his teacehr what had happened today and she told him when things happen , he has to deal with it first?????? that dosent sound rigth to me at all. and apprently last week in anti bullying week they were all told if someone is being nasty or bullying you, then you should make friends with the bully??

if you have managed to read all that, what should i do now?? is it normal to be told to make friends with your bully?? should my 7 year old be dealing with bully first?? he now dosent feel like he can go to teacher if anything happens!

[Siobhan]

1st congrats on baby number 3... wow :thumbsup::thumbsup:

Second.. no He should have to "deal" with the bully first.. what that boy is doing to C is wrong. I had issue with Charley at school last year and the teacher did nothing about it so I went to the head.. he made the girl go into her class and apologise in front of everyone for been a bully.. she hasn't had any trouble since.
What your school is doing it wrong? how is he suppose to deal with a bully?? approach him nicely and get his head punched of him... it makes me so mad what schools what children to do :angry::angry:

[Debs]

exactly what i said to him, he wont go up to this child he dosent feel that he can go to his teacher and so im getting it all when i get home and i am the point where im going to explode!!!

i'm not happy with his school at all, im not happy with the teacher and im not happy with the head!

connor has been a different child snce going to that school, he is moody, angry, sulky and has been playing us up, and im now thinking this is why! connor is not usually like that at all and its only since he started that school.

im going in tomorrow and im havign a word with teacher, if im not happy with her response then im going to the head and if im not happy then connor is coming home with me and they can deal with that. i will alos make my second phone call of the week to education welfare to make a complaint!

[Debs]

and thansk siobhan :D our very suprise baby!!! after 4 weeks of knowing i finally feel happy enough about it to start telling people xxx

[Siobhan]

don't take this lying down cause it will keep happening.. there is nothing worse than seen a happy child change due to bullying. I knew something was up with Charley when she was faking sickness, not like her at all and she told me what was happening. I went straight to school as Charley told me she already spoke to her teacher and she said she didn't see anything.. how stupid. Course she didn't see anything, bullies hide it!! I saw red and went to the head. It hasn't and won't happen again!

[Debs]

well its his sudden behaviour change that is concerning me! and the stories im hearing. i just feel like it getting worse and telling conor hes going to take him onto the roof is not nice either!

will update you with what happens tomorrow!

[Trinity]

It is ridiculous to expect a 7 year old child to deal with this level of nastiness on their own. You are totally right to take it further with the school.
Threatening behaviour and intimidation on top of low level physical violence
can escalate quickly - the school need to act. Now.

[Debs]

Thats the bit i cant get my head around, try and sort it out first?

when the child pushed connor on the floor and put his hands round his neck, connor told the teacher and was told go and get him and tell him to come to me????

id rather keep him at home until they sort it out!

[no1abbafan]

I work in a school, and unfortunately schools are reluctant for some reason to admit there is a bullying problem. If I were you I would make sure I have a written record of what was said by who and when - even the chats you have had with staff. There is no way Connor should have to sort this out himself no matter what age he is. You should ask to see the school's anti-bullying policy - they have to have one. Keep the lines of communication open, i know it's hard to be civil when your child is being picked on, but do try.

[Debs]

i was told by education welfare to log all the incidents with this child so i have been and i intend to go with everything form now on. theyll be sick of the sight of me!

thanks i will ask for the anti bullying policy tomorrow, didnt think to ask to see that! i never had any of this with his infant school, they were always helpful, always sorted things out so to speak to a head and his teacher who dont really care im just not happy!!

[Chloe O'brien]

Congratulations on baby number 3. Sorry to hear you having such a stressful time. Every school has to have an anti-bullying policy and the school has to address any matters of bullying that are reported. The school should be educating this little toe-rag that can't go around bullying.

My advice would be when you speak to his teacher take a notepad and pen with you to record what is discussed and keep copies of any correspondance as evidence to use against the school.

If you are unsatisfied with what Connor teacher is doing to deal with the situation tell her you are not happy and you are taking the matter further.

If the school refuses to address the issues of bullying inform the head that you are taking the matter further whether this be with the local council, the HMIE or even the press.

Good luck but don't back down. I would suggest that you could always do an Anna Friel impression from the street and confront the little sh1t's mother telling her if her son didn't stop bullying connor you were going to do the same to her but only worse but this is not adviseable in your condition.

[Meh]

As Kath says really.

If my kid was bullied then hell hath no fury like Norman Bates
Or he was bullying someone then hell hath no fury like Norman Bates

[moonstorm]

Well congrats on your little surprise, I had one of them too, also my 3rd. I was more relaxed with this one, prob becuase the big 2 were a bit older and I was able to enjoy him rather than running around like a headless chicken looking after 2 little ones under 3, so I hope you get you enjoy this baby!

Anyway as for the bullying - how horrilbe for you to have to deal with this in your condition and not get any back up from the school. I'm afraid I'm with Norman and would threaten the mother and she how she liked it BUT that is not the answer so is there a school board you could report the lack of support to?

Good luck and I hope this gets sorted soon and Connor does not have to put up with this nonsense any longer!!

[Debs]

Well i went in this morning, i didnt bother with the teacher i just went staright to the head!

he saw me and said oh and you still having problems, i said yes and that I was NOT happy! I told him what happened, i told him enough was enough, i told him we are not happy and that to be honest my husband was fuming and he is very lucky he is seeing me and not him as my hubby would not be as calm!!!!!! he asked connor questions which connor answered and he asked connor if this child scared him which connor answered yes too!

he was a different man today, it was like his whole body language and attitude changed when i started saying words like bullying, scared, intimidating, threatening behaviour ( things the bully has done to my son!!). i told him i did not think it was acceptable for connor to be told to deal with it himself, i understand for the odd minor thing in the playground but not for something like that and he did agree!

So im waiting for a copy of the anti bullying policy. he asked connor if he would like to chat with his teacher and himself to see if they can sort out how they are going to deal with it and to hopefully make connor feel he can now go to his teacher! that was done just this morning at beginning of school.

will pick connor up tonight and see what was said, what miss hayward said and if im not happy they will ahve me in tomorrow again!

i didnt lose my rag, i was very calm but said im not putting up with it and said ito the head if im not happy with how they deal with it in future, i will not bring him in until it is sorted!

hopefully connor is happier today and i can get some sleep last night, as last night i had it on my mind ll night!!