Funny Quotes

[Chloe O'brien]

I have a cracker to tell you on what happend at work yesterday. Lee one of the lecturers was on the phone trying to find a place that sold black contorboard a kind of shelving. Anyway he found a supplier and the guy on the phone asked Lee what length he wanted.

Lee: 1.5 meters by 2 and 1/2 feet, which at this point everyone stares at Lee in disbelief.

Lee then asks the guy on the phone how much the shelving will cost. Robert one of the other lecturers answers £10 4 shillings totally brilliant.

[Rawnie]

^^Smooth

A couple of years ago my friend was going to do a GCSE in astromomy. She was telling me about it and I said..

Me: Ugh.. Why is there a GCSE in astronomy?! It's ridiculous. I don't believe in astronomy anyway.

[Kim]

Economics teacher wanted us to shout out as many ways as possible to make the economy more productive. I just had to get in there first...

Me: Don't employ Matt!
Teacher: One

[Tannie]

A few weeks back i saw one of my teachers in a restaurant and he said he was an identical twin. so i went into the pupil support base to ask another teacher cause i didn't believe he was a twin:

Me: Sir is Mr Stewart a twin?
Teacher: I don't know Tanya why?
Me: Cause i saw him in the clubhouse and then asked him on the monday if it was him and he said he was a twin.

(can't remember what happend next but they were taking the mic out of me )

so i started to walk across to the door saying "I'm never coming in here again!" before another teacher stops me and goes:

Teacher: Can i quote that tanya?
Me: Quote what?
Teacher: that you'll never come in here again?
Me: No *still laughing so hard!*
Teacher to the other teacher: We could put a big banner outside the door saying "Tanya says she'll never come in here again"
Me: very funny, *me and friend walk out in fits"

The bell goes.

Friend - Mr Legg isn't are you sir?
Teacher - No.
Me - What you're not a twin?!

Don't think i've laughed that much in a long time! My blondeness came through

[Kim]

Boy who came in to ask the teacher about some work: What's going on?
Teacher: It was meant to be an A Level lesson but it's more like Kinder Garden.

[CrazyLea]

This is probs one of those "you had to be there" things.. but..

In work, a girl dropped her food on the floor.. woman in the queue behind her goes..
Woman: Excuse me, you have a sausage in your umbrella..

I just cracked up for ages, could not carry on lmao.

[Abbie]

I find it funny

AND OMG I LOVE your banner

[CrazyLea]

It really was hilarious And then the girl next to her who was her friend, got her umbrella stuck and a colleague had to get it out Was just so funny

And thanks lmao. I love it too.. which reminds me, I have to make Abigail one lmao.. tomorrow Abigail my love, if you read this x

[DaVeyWaVey]

This quote was really funny to me and it was probably a 'had to be there' kind of moment but my friend had an alcohol pitcher full of ice. He downed it and touched his lip and said

"Man, that is one cold lip"

[Chloe O'brien]

My sister is looking after Marley while I am at work. Today they went to the local shopping centre. In one of the shops Marley spotted a skipping rope and said to my sister Annette you should buy this to exercise to get rid of you're fat belly. My sister said it's just as well I have no feelings.