Lol, I can't condense anything.
I was much the same and only really watched every episode when Sam and Phil were together. As it is, I only watch it every Thursday as that's when we're at my gran's house and she likes to watch it.
I remember the stuff with Brandon, Cathy and Honey. I watched the repeat of it on UKTV Gold a few years ago, and I remember the Okaro's being killed as it was shown on a Thursday. He watched one child die, then the other, then his wife.