Bushell on the Box EE

[Jessie Wallace]

please don't bring anyone back, it's really annoying. If they can find talent like Lacey, they can find some more, we don't need old charcters back. (real life Maternity leave is different!)

[chance]

grant was great though and really boosted the ratings

[Jessie Wallace]

but his character is an idiot! Peggy and her gob, Grunt, and Mr Bulldog! no thanks, time for ironing when they on screen.

[chance]

the mitchells are excellent but they are at there best when grsnt is with them

[Jessie Wallace]

but i can't stand the mitchells.

[alan45]

Ok for Grant provided they get rid of the Beetroot Dogger

[Jessie Wallace]

lol

[Mr Humphries]

The Mitchells would be far better if we had not had years and years of over-kill on Phil! Every storyline he has now is so much hard work and awful to watch

[chance]

Ok for Grant provided they get rid of the Beetroot Dogger

lmao yeah id swap grant for phil

[alan45]

The Daily Mirror's Jim Shelley was none to fond of EE either.

Another funny and witty review

FRANKLY, FINGS CAN'T GET WORSE
13 December 2005
ELLO, readers. This, as you know, is the obligatory form of greeting where EastEnders is concerned.

After Dirty Den ("Ello, Princess") and Grant Mitchell ("Ello, Mum"), this week it was the turn of Frank "Follow The Bear" Butcher to return to the series after several previous departures - to Spain and what he called "Maaaaaanchester" among them.

"Ello, babe," he grinned, stepping out of the shadows to torment "Paaaaaaaaaaat" and save his daughter "Juneeeeeeeen" - one of several murderers to have lived in Albert Square recently.

Needless to say, it took a matter of, ooh, half an episode before Pat had gone back to his hotel room and fallen for Frank's supposedly legendary, lovable charm ("I love you, you barmy old 'orse!" he told her at one point).

"If I don't get out of here, I know what's going to happen," Pat cooed, looking like some sort of cornered yeti.

"Then let it happen," Frank leered, flashing his top teeth in that way he has that he thinks makes him look like Humphrey Bogart, but makes him look more like a rat in a hat.


"DON'T LET IT HAPPEN," we screamed. To no avail.


They had a few rows for old times' sake ("She's a stone-hearted killer!" "She is not!!" "She IS!!!"), which after a while even they found tiresome.


"Let's go somewhere quiet," Pat implored, although wherever they went it wasn't quiet for very long.


Amazingly, the Pat 'n' Frank storyline was positively uplifting compared to the rest of the EastEnders' week, which may well have been the most unremittingly miserable in the series' wretched history.


Characters like Stacey's miserable "best friend", Alfie's dying, senile gran Ba-Nana Moon and Laura's grieving muvver, all paled into insignificance compared to Stacey Slater's mum.


Jean had "stopped taking her medication" - a decision which had led her to board herself indoors, stop eating and, above all, over-act horribly.


One (unprovoked, sobbing) chip-eating frenzy saw her cry, "This is torture!" And it wasn't much better for her. It was comically bleak and unrelenting - an eerie, unwanted echo of Michael the market manager's miserable missus Susan.


"You're a bit quiet, Mum," Stacey chirped as her muvver sat there rocking backwards and forwards, drooling and tearing her hair out in clumps.


"You ruined my body," Jean droned to poor Stacey, sounding like the Pythons' Mrs Yeti Goose Creature.


"You ruined my body. The PAIN I went through bringing you into the world. The agony! And the years after - with you, hanging off me, draining me... You torture me just by breathing the same air."


Yeah, but APART from that you liked her, right?


OF course, we knew somefing bad was going to happen as soon as Stacey got out the travel brochures and started making "one day" speeches that were horribly reminiscent of Demi's speeches to her (now dead) junkie boyfriend.


When her mother finally, inexplicably, did go out, she went in fancy dress - her costume being that of a prostitute, as is traditional for all the female characters in Walford.


Jean headed off first for the jungles of Walford and then to a railway line where a tragedy ensued - the tragedy being that she survived her suicide attempt.


The whole dismal, overwrought saga made Curly the Murderer's travails in her luxury sub-Bad Girls prison look almost cheerful. Certainly the prison laundry had more boxes of Persil and Ariel than Pauline's launderette.


In last night's episode, even Billy Mitchell was at it. "Any of you two got a gun?" he asked Gary and Minty (seconds after Minty had used the word "predicated").


"What do you want a gun for?" Gal asked.


"Cos I want to kill meself."


Let's hope Billy takes a few of them out with him, eh?