My late mother outlived 2 of her 5 children. I don't remember much about my first brother dying but do about my second brother's death, by which time she was in her 80s. She was very resentful especially with her grandchildren' partners for some reason. She claimed no one was calling her. One day she complained about my children not calling her. My son had told me he'd spoken to her earlier in the day, I told her this. She said yes, but he hasn't called me. After going round in circles there was no point in continuing the conversation. A few days later she called me, my remaining brother and my sister. She was absolutely vitriolic to all of us. I was shell shocked, my sister was in floods tears and my brother thought she was completely dotty. It basically felt like she resented us for still being alive. Fortunately her sister, who'd also outlived 2 of her children spoke some sense to her. She called and apologised to which I said there was no need. I think my point is grief is a very personal thing. There can be a lot of harsh things said, it's not easy, but it's best to try and not dwell on them.