*camera cuts to beryl in the studio in full pearly queen outfit, singing the Lambeth Walk*
OIIIIIIIIIII
Gawden Bennet Me ole muckers, Welcome to Beryls Big Gob
Hellooo SBBB fans,yesterday I met up with jack who took me for a bite to eat at his favourote pie and mash shop,cant say im into all those carbs but hey us women will go anywhere for jack!
So I wanted to do a proper interview for a change but it very hard when your sat opposite this hot cockney lad, trying your hardest to look sexy while stuffing stodgy pie and heavy ole mash into your gob!
Heres what happened... *yells* OI ROGER ROLL VT.........
*beryl and jack are sat opposite each other in pie shop*
Beryl: so jack....jack..... * almost drooling*jack gorgoues jack how ya doing me old mucker....
Jack: * laughs* yeh luv you know how it is,....busy busy luv, tryin to get used to being out the madhouse and people recognisisng ya....
Beryl... yeah I remember it well...* drops gravy down cleavage* ****...oh darn, * mops up with tissue* urmmmm have you been up to much??? usual sbbb crap I guess?
Jack: *laughs* wanna hand there luve?? *beryl shakes head* well I been like out and about, a few nightclub appearences... few magazine interviews, daily star not wearing that much.... yeah I guess the same ole stuff
Beryl: I remember it well.. for me though it was all getting me tits out for nuts...... not literally for nuts I dont eat nuts.... well I do but not the salty kind... although....actually.. yeah well ill stop now * laughs*
talking about tits... your kind of obsessed with them....
Jack: * looks horrified* nooo darlin...realli I aint its just , well im a man and I like to flirt and be kinda cheekyt init...... and yeah there were a lot of booobs on show in that house... I mean I got a good ole handful when lisa lemme touch hers and the rest were oh soo good to look at, and it like only natural init for the men to look at tits. aint it?
beryl: so what do you think of mine then??? All natyural ya know, dpont belive me? go on ave a feel
Jack: umm .... hmm... yeah... no s,ok ill pass
Beryl: Go on....
Jack umm no really they look fab
Beryl TOUCH THEM
Jack * laughs * ok..... fecking hell love, more than i can handle.....* quickly stuff pie into mouth*
Beryl. Ok moving on from these....So you say you been out to a lot of club appearences yeah.....bet women have been throwing themselves at ya.... how many have you taken advantage of
Jack: f*chokes on a pee* fecking hell , none love.... im really not that type of geeza ya know.... I may come across as it but really im not...
Beryl: come on, jak tell auntie bez.. how many
Jack: really none... noone, no birds and me ave hooked up, im telling ya
Beryl: is that because you are saving yourself for someone else, maybe a certain girlie in the house
jack: NO, your not getting anytin outta me so stop yaself luv
Beryl: what about claire? She was pretty upset ya left on sunday, How do you feel bout her?
Jack: Top bird luv, tops.. and yeah I think wow every time she walked in room but ya know what claire is kinda hard to figure out, was she flirty? did she like me and well I dunno, see when we get out hey... I saw her dairy room message and thats brill and tops mate... so yeah will see her when she gets out and see what happens like! Although I am really dissapointed in er
Beryl : * shovelling in pie* Why?
Jack: I tuned in last night and there she was naked in the tub with lucy and aaron....i was like gawden bennet love, why why why would you do that with im and not with me.... how long was I in that house and never once did she put on a pretend show for me, so why for im..... mr sleepalot... *laughs* I think she owes me that at least ,when she gets out....im trying to find a knock off hot tub as we speak.........
i wanted naked hot tub show....
Beryl: no chance for you and me then jack?
Jack: Not on your life luv...
Beryl: sure? Im pretty darn good
Jack NO
Beryl: just a fumble
Jack: NO gawdden bennett do you ever give up!!
Beryl: do I need to beg?
Jack: * calls security* no get her away from me!! nice to meet ya bezza... dont call me luv.. * runs out quickly before beryl can get him*
Beryl: aww well, he will be back for more... they always wanna piece of this * cups boobs and wiggles, winks at camera* You better cut that bit out abot begging roger... dont want the viewers to seeme beg for men
*back to stuidio*
ROGER!!!!! obv sbbb fans i wasnt actually gonna beg for jack!! do i look like desperate for it???
So that was jack, hes a great bloke
I'm STILL waiting for colette but nearly done with all the evictees so far
Ill be back later on to talk about events in the big broither house last night and ill be looking at the ashion disasters the housemates created for each other.. oh my wait till you see them
Right now im of to bikini shop, my mate verity.... remember verity has torn herself away from her loser boyfriend lucipher and is hitting up st tropez with me over the weekend.... a girly shopping and sunbathing trip on her yacht i can't wait.....
See ya this afternoon my lovelies
MWAH
robmeister 
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