Another song fic. Toby POV this time. Based in now time. Again, not that great.
Song is Cyndi Lauper - "Time After Time"
Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
There’s just one question on my mind. Why. Why did you do it? Each night, I lay here, up for hours, just thinking of you and what could I have done. Some nights, I even cry.
Caught up in circles confusion
Is nothing new
Millions of thoughts running through my head. I just can’t seem to forget. It doesn’t make sense. Or does it? You always did seem…. Down.. I just thought it was down to work. Being tired. Maybe I was wrong.
Flashback warm nights
Almost left behind
I often think back. Think about what you did while you were home alone. Were you scared? Were you worried? What was wrong. I guess I may never know the answers.
Suitcases of memories,
Time after
Looking back. I remember our first day. I thought you were a cow to be honest. So smarmy. But as the days went on I liked you. You were funny. Perhaps you never knew that.
Sometimes you picture me
Im walking too far ahead
Sometimes I get dreams. Well they’re more nightmares if I’m honest. I see you and you’re walking towards me. Your arms reaching out. I try and get to you, but I can’t. Something’s stopping me. Then I wake up in a cold sweat.
Youre calling to me, I cant hear
What youve said
I’ve worked it out though. I wasn’t here for you enough. You probably tried to reach out. But I didn’t listen. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. If there was one thing in the world that I could change, it would be to pay more attention. I’m always thinking about myself and my “problems”. So what if I’m not a great doctor. You’re more important. Was I not approachable? I’d give anything to hold you in my arms and tell you that everything is going to be okay.
Then you say go slow
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds
If youre lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you Ill be waiting
Time after time
I want you to know. When you awake. And you will awake. I know it. I have this feeling. But when you do awake I will be here. Any time of the day. Whether it’s morning, noon or night. I’ll be here waiting for you to fall in my arms. I’ll never turn the other cheek. You, from now on, will be my priority.
There’s something that I’ve always wanted to say to you. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed. I’m not exactly Mr Secret. To me, you are amazing. Not only as a doctor but as a person. As a doctor, you’re inspirational. As a person, you’re so much more. The truth is Ruth. Although I never said it. I wish now I had. Every day to be exact. Perhaps then you wouldn’t be where you are. But the truth is. I love you. I always will.
If youre lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you Ill be waiting
Time after time
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It's so Toby 
