Depression

[Abigail]

The doctor increased the citalopram to 40mg daily and referred me for counselling. I'm struggling with the tiredness from the increased dose and my mood is all over the place still. I think I'm starting to feel better though.

[Perdita]

Hope you continue to feel better Abigail ang go to counselling, I know it is not always easy to open up but I am sure it will be beneficial to you too. Hopefully, the medication can be reduced again then and you won't feel so tired, huggy xx

[DaVeyWaVey]

Hope you continue to feel better Abigail. Good luck with the counselling x

I've been focusing on writing a script. I'm told it's good to focus on something.

[Tori]

The doctor increased the citalopram to 40mg daily and referred me for counselling. I'm struggling with the tiredness from the increased dose and my mood is all over the place still. I think I'm starting to feel better though.

I hope you begin to feel better soon and can get off the 40mg. I couldn't believe the difference when I went down to 20mg from 40mg... I had never realised how sapping the bugger is! Good luck!

[Abigail]

I hope you begin to feel better soon and can get off the 40mg. I couldn't believe the difference when I went down to 20mg from 40mg... I had never realised how sapping the bugger is! Good luck!

I can't believe the difference between 30mg and 40mg. All I seem to do is sleep, I have no energy to do anything. I know it's only been nine days but I haven't noticed a difference in my mood. In fact, things have got worse.

I have an appointment for counselling on the 18th April.

[Tori]

I'd give it time, but if the negatives outweigh the positives, then I'd go back down to 30mg again.

Went to the docs today for more ADs, she asked me how my soul was. Nothing like a doctor in england would ask...

[judthryn]

hi abigail,
the high in dosage is given only when the previous dosage doesn't help you out that much.. so it is better to continue the 40 mg, still find hard in improvement then look for some other solution.

[Abigail]

My mood has improved considerably in the last few days. I've started taking the citalopram in the afternoon/early evening instead of the morning. By the time the tiredness is kicking in, I'm ready for bed and its not really a problem.

I have my psych assessment on Monday. I'm a bit nervous about it but it is something that I have to do.

I've decided to take some time out after I finish my degree. A friend (who is a psychiatrist) has said I can live with him as long as I need to so I'm staying in Stoke. Its time for me to stop running away from my problems and deal with them. If that take 6 months or a year, so be it. I can't carry on with these massive ups and downs every few months. Something happens, I can't deal with it so I pretend it doesn't exist and put it in the cupboard with all the other things I can't deal with. I can't get anything else in my cupboard and I'm scared to open the door because it will all come tumbling out. At the moment I don't think I would be able to hold down a full time job or even a part time one. My moods are just so unpredictable and they change from one hour to the next. Some days I can't get out of bed at all, others I feel like I'm on speed. Even small stresses, like deadlines, cause me to fall apart.

So much has happened over the last year with my family. My relationship with my mother is virtually non-existent. It's always been difficult but I can't communicate with her at all now. Things have gotten considerably worse in the past few months, I've spoken to her once on the phone since January. Even my relationship with my sister has been severely affected to the point where I can't go home at the moment because I can't deal with her talking about my uncle. She wants to talk about the trial and stuff and I just want to forget it's happening. My sister is the only person in my family that has ever understood me, she gave me somewhere to stay when my mum kicked me out and she's always taken care of me emotionally and financially. More than my parents ever have. I'm hoping once the trial is over things will go back to how they were.

Anyway, I'm waffling

[Perdita]

I am glad you got your meds sorted to suit you now, good luck with your assessment on Monday, is only natural you should feel a little nervous, but it is another tool for you to get on the road to recovery and being able to deal with all those things in the cupboard. Hopefully, your relationship with your mother and sister will improve again over time too, I imagine your sister is feeling scared and unsure, hence her need to talk about the trial. I wish you all the best x

[Abigail]

I am glad you got your meds sorted to suit you now, good luck with your assessment on Monday, is only natural you should feel a little nervous, but it is another tool for you to get on the road to recovery and being able to deal with all those things in the cupboard. Hopefully, your relationship with your mother and sister will improve again over time too, I imagine your sister is feeling scared and unsure, hence her need to talk about the trial. I wish you all the best x

Thanks Perdita It's great that I have so many friends on here and you are all so supportive. I don't know what I'd do without this place to vent.