Hollyoaks fiction - the past always catches up in the end

[anna42hmr]

Chapter 1

Everyday it was the same routine, but she would not change a thing, well that’s not quite true, she would give anything for him to be there, but that was not to be. She made that choice a long while ago, and once she made that choice, there was no going back.

She remembered the day that she realised what she had to do, she had to get away from Hollyoaks, there was no point in ruining his life, if he was with her he wanted her to be there because he wanted to, not because he felt obliged to be there, with them.

Flashback - She was lying in his arms, he was fast asleep beside her, she however was unable to sleep, his hand was on her tummy, little did he know, that his hand was above their child. Tears were running down her face, crying silently to herself, praying he did not wake up, realising that when they both woke up, history would end up repeating itself. She had been here many times before now, and time and time again, she thought that maybe it would work this time, maybe they had a chance, this time she new differently though. It was then she decided that she knew what she had to do.

That was 3 years ago now, and her life was good, it was not like it used to be, or what she had planned, but she had a couple of good friends, and her and Katie were happy, she had a good job, lived by the beach and life was good, they were settled, just the 2 of them.

Little did she know, that the past was soon about to catch up with her, but would that be for the good or bad.

Chapter 2

(PS I have made up a few characters for the purpose of the story)

After the plane finally landed at Palma Airport, Zack, Zoë, Chris, Gilly, Rhys, Steph, Emma, Elliott and Isabelle were waiting at baggage claim, all eager for the holiday to start properly. The plane had been delayed for 5 hours, so tempers had been frayed, but they were starting to relax and calm down now they had finally got to Majorca.

Gilly, Rhys Kris and Zack were messing around with the luggage trolleys, and despite Zoë’s warning that someone was going to get hurt, they were still content with seeing who could push each other the fastest. Unfortunately Zoë’s prediction came true, as the lads soon ended up colliding into one another, and fell on each other in a heap. All 4 of them ended up getting bruised or limping, “Don’t look to us for sympathy” Emma responded, “Zo told you what would happen” All the while Zac was mimicking what his girlfriend was saying, though he promptly stopped when he felt her elbow in his stomach “Ouch that hurt” Emmas only response was “Good, stop taking the mick then, and help with the luggage” “Yes Mam!” he replied jokingly.

Finally they had all got their luggage and headed out of the airport for the rest of the holiday. Since they had all graduated, they had gone there separate ways, but they had agreed that once a year they would get together for a holiday and some fun. However there was one person who’s absence was notable, but was never mentioned.

Chapter 3

Her departure all those years ago had hit all of them hard, but particularly Zoë and Kris, they had no warning of her leaving, she had told them she was visiting her parents for a couple of days, they had all said bye to her expecting her to be back, little did they realise at the time, that as soon as they had left to go to their lectures, she pulled out the rest of her suitcases and bags, and packed up all her belongings in the flat, and locked her room door.

A few days had passed before they realised she was not coming back, she was due back on the Tuesday, but when Wednesday, Thursday and Friday had passed with no signs of her return, they got worried, however no matter how many texts or messages they left on her phone, there was no response from her. The following week HCC admin let the room to another student, and whilst the new flatmate, Isabelle had become a close friend to them all over the years, the others had not got over the disappearance of their former friend from their lives, leaving a path of confusion, anger and hurt behind her.

No one knew why she had left, and that was what hurt the most, they thought they were close to her, especially Zoë and Kris, but it goes to show, that appearances could be deceptive. They knew she was alive, as Zoë had managed to speak to her parents not long after she had left, but they would not give anything away as to her whereabouts or why she had left without saying a word to her friends.

chapter 4

The gang had finally left the airport, and had got to the hotel, everyone had decided to unpack and then meet up in the hotel bar a little later on to decide the plan of action for that evening.

Meanwhile, she had just got home from work, that was the one great thing about her living in Majorca, due to the Spanish heat most companies started early in the morning, and whilst she was never a morning person, it meant that she could finish work by 2pm, and spend the rest of the day with her little angel, Katie. Her life in Spain was not easy at first, alone and pregnant, but luckily a friend of her fathers from his old university had managed to get her a job at the media centre. She enjoyed her job, as it was working for a company that produced an English language newspaper, Radio Station and TV station, aimed mainly at the ex-pats living in Majorca, and the neighbouring islands. At least she was writing for a living, nothing major, just the odd article, radio, television script etc, but it was enough to support her and Katie and put a roof over their heads. They were living in a cosy little 2 bedroom apartment, certainly nothing like she had been used to growing up, but it was hers and she was proud of it, she had earned and paid for it herself and not having to rely on anyone elses finances.

chapter 5

It was around 6pm, and she decided she did not fancy cooking anything, so she and Katie went to a local restaurant for dinner, the couple that owned it were like a second family to her, they too were British ex pats, and she liked to go there, as in many ways it reminded her of her own family, back in England.

Meanwhile back at the hotel, the girls had already finished unpacking and decided they wanted to explore the area, so they decided to leave the lads at the hotel bar playing pool, and they decided to go for a walk along the beachfront. Steph, Zoë and Emma ended up detouring into a shoe shop, so Isabelle decided to go and grab herself a drink so agreed with the others that she would go to a restaurant/pub over the road and get the drinks in and they would all meet there shortly.

Just as Isabelle walked into the bar, out ran an adventurous toddler, who ended up crashing into her legs, with her mum chasing behind her. “So sorry about that,” she said to the stranger, “no problem”, Isabelle replied” “Katie next time, when I say wait, I mean wait!” “Sorry mummy” she replied, Katie had an adorable smile that so resembled her fathers, sometimes her heart broke when she saw her daughters smile, as it bought back so many memories, good and bad.

“ Are you alright, she did not hurt you did she” “no don’t worry about it, how old is she, she is a beautiful child”, “she is just over 2 and a half, and getting more cheeky by the day,” she laughed. “I am Isabelle by the way, are you on holiday here?” “No I’ve lived her for the last couple of years. Sorry, where are my manners, my name is…
But before she could say here name, someone who had just walked in the bar had said it for her…

[anna42hmr]

chapter 6

Jess is that you!! Steph shrieked as she walked up towards her, Jess went white, and slowly turned towards her old friends, Zoë stood alongside Steph hurt and angry, suddenly seeing Jess again, bought back the memories of the day that they had realised that Jess had left without saying a word, betraying the friendship they had once had.

All of the girls were in shock, except Isabel, who had arrived in the village after Jess had left, Emma, who was not as close to Jess when she left (as she had only arrived in the village a couple of months before Jess’s departure) was the next one to speak, all were too shocked to say anything. “Wow jess, long time, no see” “yes it is replied Jess” not sure what to do or say to the people she new she had hurt all those years ago.

The gang stood there practically in silence, until Katie called Jess “Mummy who are dey?” she asked in her in her baby talk “some old friends of mine sweetie,” all the girls gawp in surprise, when they realised the toddler was Jess’s little girl

“I am sorry,” Jess stated, I have to go and get her to bed “don’t let us stop you, you don’t have to tell us you are leaving, you never bothered before” Zoë snapped at Jess “Please Zo, I know I was wrong, please don’t be like that” “I will be how I want to be Jess, you have no idea how things went down after you left, Kris was a mess, and I had lost someone I thought was my best friend, after what happened with Will we became so close, or I thought we did, but obviously I was wrong.” “I am sorry Zo, you have no idea how much I have missed you and how sorry I am” “Don’t Jess, I do not want to hear it, just go will you” “Zoë, please” “No Jess, that’s it, I have nothing more to say to you” “Fine, if that is what you want, but here is my number, incase you change your mind, I really mean it Zo, I miss you, I missed all of you” Jess gives Zoë her number, but Zoë barely takes any notice of the bit of paper she is given, and simply screws it up in front of Jess and puts it in an empty ashtray, Jess is hurt by the reaction, and is unable to say anything, so she walks out of the bar/restaurant, carrying her daughter in her arms, with tears in her eyes, but at the same time knowing that had she been in Zoë’s position, she would probably be the same. After what the two of them went through together with Will, she was not surprised that Zoë took her going without a word so badly.

The girls ordered the drinks and sat down, Steph tried to broach the subject with Zoë but she did not want to talk about it.

Meanwhile, Jess arrived home, put her daughter to bed and opened a bottle of wine and some photo albums she had dared not look at for years. As she sat staring at the photos of the old gang, of her with Kris, her Olivia and Jo, and her and Zac, memory after memory re-surfaced in her mind, some good and some bad, some funny and some sad, she started softly crying to herself, feeling more alone than ever, sure she had made friends in Majorca, but nothing like what she had at home, and today with Zoë’s reaction, she realised that there was never any going back. And in reality, she did not blame them for the reaction they had.

[anna42hmr]

chapter 7

Three days had passed since Jess bumped into them at the bar, she had hoped that by some miracle she would see them again and be able to explain everything that happened, but as each day and night went, she lost hope of that happening. Around her new friends she put up a front, she had always been good at doing that, but in the last few years she had managed to make it a fine art, and no one saw the pain she felt underneath. Since she left Hollyoaks, she had built a wall around her heart, and whilst she had friends in her life and family, she would never truly let them in, afraid that she would break again.

There was only one person who had penetrated her heart fully these days, and that was her baby girl, her little angel, and the only link she had to him. From the moment she held Katie in her arms, she felt such a love, and joy, but at the same time it was bittersweet. Katie resembled her father so much, from her eyes, to her smile, to her mischievous attitude, and over the years the toddler had became more and more like her father everyday. It was something that amazed Jess, and in a way, she still had him in her life, but it always caused her heart to break, that she would never be held in his arms again, and her daughter would not know the man her mother had fallen in love with all those years ago and was never able to get over. And she knew that the only person she could really blame for that was herself.

chapter 8

“I still don’t think this is right Zo” Steph said as she and Zoë were sitting by the hotel pool, the lads were in the swimming pool, splashing and racing each other.
“Look I know you don’t, but its for the best, you know how he was when she went, he was a mess for months, she made her decision, shes moved on, he is only just starting to be himself again, and I don’t want to risk him going back to that”

In her mind Steph knew Zoë was right, after Jess left, Kris went into self-destruct mode, drinking heavily, mixing with people who were not good for him, and experimenting with things he should not have been, from drugs, to sleeping around. He shut those out who cared about him for a long while, and it was only when tragedy had hit one of the people he had started to hang around with, he realised that he was going to end up the same way – dead – if he carried on. Luckily the gang had not turned the back on him, and slowly with their help, Kris was able to get back on the straight (or not so straight) and narrow.

The other girls came over to the sun loungers, with drinks in their hand, “what are you pair whispering about” “We were talking about you know who, Steph still feels guilty about not telling Kris that she is here” “I know how you feel, but we all agreed the other day that im, god knows how he will take it, he could spiral out of control again” “I know, you are if we tell h right,” Steph replied “Its just I hate keeping secrets from him, and maybe she has a reason that she left”

“Look, so what if she has a reason to leave, she could have at least told us what was going on, besides she obviously shacked up with the first person she met her and got knocked up, as that baby is about 2 I reckon,” Zoë said bitterly
“Come on Zo, that’s not like Jess”
“How do we know, yes the Jess we knew could be selfish or thoughtless at time, but the Jess I thought I knew would not have left like that, it is her fault that Kris went how he did, and I cant forgive or forget that”
And whilst Zoë was telling the truth in that statement, another reason she could not forgive or forget was the personal betrayal she felt, she thought that her and Jess could tell each other everything. After Will had kidnapped them both and held her and Jess hostage for a while, Jess and Zoë had become closer than ever, and Zoë thought she new everything about her former friend.

“What are you lot plotting over here” asked Kris, he had just got out of the pool, and walked towards the girls to get his drink. “What, um, nothing, nothing at all” Zoe replied flustered “Liar” “no I am not” “Zo, you are a crap liar, you know that” “If you must know its just that…”

chapter 9

“If you must know, we were trying to come up for a surprise for your birthday, nosey” Steph quickly covered, whilst she hated the lies, she knew deep down that Zoe was right. “Oh what you planning then” “that would be telling, you will have to wait, its only 2 days time, now scram so we can carry on talking about you” Steph laughed.

Kris walked back towards the pool and jumped straight in, the splash he caused soaked the girls, who glared at the lads who all thought it was highly amusing
“Phew, that was close!!” Emma stated. “ It was close, look she is the past, and I think for Kris’ sake we need to drop this subject, and forget we ever saw her, are we all agreed”
All the girls agreed, though some were more reluctant than others.

“Anyway, lets get on with sorting out something for Kris birthday, he will be really suss if nothing happens” I know, I saw a flier the other day for a place in Magaluf called “Maison Place” (made up name for the story, does not exist) any way it is a night club, but certain nights they have entertainment on, and on Thursday they have karaoke, comedians and strippers, “I aint going to watch women get there kit off thanks” Isabelle jokes, “duh, its male strippers, so it would be a laugh for us, plus Kris would like it, not sure if the other lads will though,” Emma laughed. “now that would be worth it for the lads reactions!!” Steph joked. “Plus apparently for birthdays they can arrange for a reserved VIP seating area to watch the all the entertainment from, plus birthday cake, and free bottle of champagne etc, what do you guys think?” Sounds great, should be a good night, lets get it booked then.

The girls shouted bye to the lads who were still in the pool and went to get Kris birthday surprise sorted out.

chapter 10

Later that evening, everyone had all started getting ready to go out for a night clubbing, all except for Steph, who was staring at crumpled piece of paper in her hands in the hotel bar.

“What’s that Steph” Zack asked startling her, “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you jump” “Its ok, I was just thinking, that’s all” “anything important, you look upset” “no nothing” the girls had a agreed earlier not so say anything to the lads, they knew that it would be difficult for them not to tell Kris if they new they had bumped into Jess. Zack noticed Steph was still wearing what she was earlier on in the day, so asked her if she was going to get ready, as they were all going soon, Steph did not feel like going out tonight, she had too much on her mind, and still felt guilty for what was going on, so decided to make her excuses, so said she was not feeling well, so was going to stay at the hotel tonight.

One by one the rest of the gang entered the hotel bar, and kept asking Steph if she was sure she did not want to come, or if she wanted someone to stay and keep her company. Steph declined their offers, just saying she was going to take some painkillers and have an early night. Eventually all of them were in the hotel bar Steph sat with them for one drink, before they went out, as Steph said bye to them, they all checked again that she did not want them to say in, she assured them she was fine, and walked with them to the hotel lobby, kissed or hugged them all good night and made her way to the hotel lifts and went to her room as the others walked out the hotel.

Once alone in her hotel room, Steph decided to sit out on the balcony to think, enjoying the peace and quiet. But she was unable to keep the thoughts of Jess out of her mind. She could not help but wonder how she would feel if Cam had suddenly reappeared and all her friends had kept it from her to protect her, she knew that what had happened with Jess and Kris more extreme, but it still bugged her. Steph sat out on the balcony for over an hour and could not help but stare at the piece of paper in her hands again.

[anna42hmr]

here is the next couple of chapters

chapter 11

Steph was still sitting on the hotel balcony, but her mind was still busy with the thoughts of the secret the girls were holding from Kris, she decided to go into her room and watch some telly to see if that would help distract her.

Meanwhile back at Jess’s apartment, Jess had not long got Katie to bed, and after reading 5 stories to the little girl, she was eventually asleep. Jess enjoyed her life in Spain, but it was nights like these when her daughter was in bed and she was alone with her thoughts, that Jess often regretted what she had done, and often wondered how she could make things right. But she realised, she had left it too long, she could not go back and undo what she did, she had made her bed and she had to lie in it.

Even if she could see him again, she doubted he would ever forgive her, and she would not blame him, she let him down like so many people in his life had. She had abandoned him, like they had, his so-called family, she couldn’t help but recall the pain and heartache he went through with his family after his brother had shown up in the village. Not only had his brother rejected him because of his bi-sexuality and his cross dressing ways, but once his parents found out, they cut him off entirely, saying they only had one son and Kris was not it.

Jess was soon jolted out of her thoughts and memories, by the sound of the telephone ringing. Jess wiped the tears from her eyes, that she had not even realised had started and walked to answer the phone.

“Hello?” Jess answered
“Hi is that you Jess?”
“Yes it is, who is this”
“Its me Jess, Its …”


chapter 12

Jess was still in shock at who had rang her half an hour before, and was pacing up and down the her living room floor, waiting for her visitor to arrive. Suddenly there was a knock at the apartment door, taking a deep breath Jess walked to the door and answered it, nervous but happy at the same time.

“Hi” “Hi, come in”
Jess’s guest walked in the room, they both looked at each other for a few minutes, not knowing what to say, or where to start, suddenly both girls locked eyes, and burst into laughter. “Look at us you would think we had never met before”
“You’re right, I can believe you are here, I had given up hope of any of you calling me, not that I blame you.” Jess and Steph hugged, and whilst they were happy to see each other, both were still nervous about the conversation they knew they were going to have to have.

The girls started with small talk at first, talking about their jobs and families, and what had happened since they had last seen each other, all the while sidestepping the subject of Jess leaving and the aftermath.

Eventually Steph got the courage to bring it up, “Jess, I need to know something,” “You want to know why I left don’t you?” Yes, and why you left in the way you did” The girls had a long talk, as Jess explained her story, and suddenly her reasons became clear to Steph, and a lot of the hurt she felt towards Jess evaporate, and in its place was sadness, and understanding. Steph went on to tell Jess what had happened with Kris, and how the others took her leaving, explaining that Jess departure had upset them all but non felt it as much as Kris and Zoë. Steph also realised that the earlier assumption that Katie was the daughter of someone Jess had met in Majorca was wrong. Jess after learning about what Kris had done to him, was filled up with so much guilt.

The only thing that was not mentioned, was that Kris was in Majorca, Jess had assumed the girls were on there own on a girlie holiday, and Steph for the time being decided to let her keep that impression, whilst Steph tried to work out where to go from here. She could see that Jess was still in love with Kris, her eyes lit up when she spoke about him, and her eyes were also filled with unshed tears when she learnt what effect her leaving had on Kris.

chapter 13

Steph managed to get back to the hotel room, and into bed with only 15 minutes to spare before Zoë got back to their room after clubbing, Jess and Steph had stayed up at Jess’s until the early hours, and lost track of time, Steph had to rush back to the hotel, as she knew that she had broke the promise she mad to the others about forgetting about seeing Jess. She knew she would have to broach the subject with them sooner or later, but it was 4 in the morning and she was too tired to think get into it now, plus she needed time to process her thoughts. She new if she could get them to talk to Jess and understand why she did what she did, they may be able to put the past behind them.

It was about 11 am by the time Zoë woke up, she looked over to Stephs bed to find she was not there, it was then she heard a noise on the balcony, so she went out there “Morning sleepy head, good night was it” “It was great thanks, you missed a good one, it is ashame you weren’t there, you feeling better now?” “Yes, I feel great thanks”. “Zo, can I ask you something,” “Sure what” “if there was a reason Jess left, do you think you could ever be friends again, or at least forgive her?” “Steph not now, no more talk of her, she is no longer part of my life” “But Zoë,” “No Steph, I know you mean well but drop it” Though it was the last thing she wanted to do, she decided that there was no point pushing it further with Zoë, as she did not want to fall out with her friend.

The girls had filled the lads in on the surprise for Kris’s birthday the next day, but there was a few things they wanted to get sorted out for it as well, so the gang decided that someone needed to get Kris out of the way whilst the rest of the gang got the final plans made. It was then that Steph decided she needed to test the waters with Kris, so she volunteered. Getting Kris out though was a miracle in itself as he still had a huge hangover, and took a few threats from Steph for him to agree to go out for a walk with her. After a while, his headache started to disappear and he and Steph were sitting on the beach in a deserted cove just talking and laughing.

It was then that Steph decided to get serious. “Kris, can I ask you something” “Sure go ahead” “Do you ever wish you could go back in time, and change things” “Sometimes, why” “I, its, I…” “its what Steph, come on out with it” “Its sometimes, I wake up in the night after dreams and I imagine that Cam is still here with me, then I realise it’s a dream, he was not there, sometimes, I feel like there will not be anyone else I feel about how I did about him, even after all these years” “you have to move on with your life, Steph, the past will eat you up if you let it, look at what it did to me” “I know, but…” “But what” I cant help wonder what if all of a sudden he was back in my life again, and how that would be”. “Kris, Do you ever” Steph then hesitated, “Do I ever what?” “Nothing it doesn’t matter,” replied Steph, she suddenly lost her nerve to bring her up. “I take it you are referring to whether I still think about her, about Jess?” Steph turned her head towards Kris sharply, “how do you know” “I could see you were hesitant, and she is the only person no one talks about when I am around” Steph was in shock, in the years since he had realised she was gone and never coming back, she had not once heard him utter her name.

[anna42hmr]

chapter 14

Steph and Kris had been gone for a couple of hours, the gang had finished the preparations for Kris’ birthday the following day, and was wondering where they had got to. “I thought they were only going to be an hour at the most, wonder where they got to” asked Rhys. They did not have to wonder for long, as Steph and Kris were walking up the road. “Where’d you pair get to” “don’t ask,” replied Kris, she managed to get us lost” he lied, not wanting the others to know about the conversation he and Steph had been having earlier. They all decided to go to the beach, just as they were leaving the hotel, Kris held Steph back, so he could talk to her without the others hearing, “Look what we were talking about, I don’t want it to go any further, that was between me and you ok?” “Of course it is, I wont say anything”.

Steph watched Kris and the others from her spot on the beach, Kris was acting so care free and happy, and it was only after today’s chat that she realised that he too was putting on an act, that deep down he missed and loved her still, but was also filled with hurt anger and confusion. Steph did not realise to that day Kris thought it was his fault she had left, - flashback to earlier – “you asked me before if I could ever go back and change something, to be honest, yes I would, I would find out what I did that made her leave me, like the others did, and change what ever I did that made them go” “Others, what do you mean, besides, how do you know it was because of you she left” “Come on Steph, who is the common denominator here,” he replied sadly, Steph could realise he was trying to hold back the tears. “I don’t get what you mean” “Easy, Jess, Mum, Dad, Mal, my grandparents, most of my old mates from school, one by one, they have cut me out of their lives, because of who I am, why do you think I did what I did Steph, with the drinking, the drugs, the screwing around, I was trying to forget, and in a way I was trying to destroy myself, no one gave a thought to how I was, so why should I care what I do to myself” “She was just another one in a long line that left” Steph did not know what to say, as everything she could think of sounded lame, so she just held Kris, while he sobbed in her arms. – End flashback.

She had tried to broach the subject of Jess again with the girls, but they were having non of it, so Steph decided there and then, she would have to take matters into her own hands, and no matter what the outcome was good or bad, at least closure could be found, which is something that had been lacking since Jess had disappeared.

But how would she do it? She spent the afternoon on the beach apparently reading in her book, but all along her brain was working overtime trying to work out how to sort this whole mess out.

[Footie_Chick]

Ahhh wow this is great, great storyline. Can't wait to read more.

[anna42hmr]

glad you like it, here is the next bit,

chapter 16

It was the morning of Kris’ birthday, Steph had waited for Zoe to go out of the hotel room they were sharing, and she made the phone call. The person on the other end was hesitant at the suggestion, but Steph eventually talked them into the suggestion. The gang had agreed on going to a water park for the day so as soon as she finished on the call she got all her stuff together and went down stairs to the hotel reception and waited for the others. The whole gang had fun at the water park, but they could tell Steph was distracted about something, but would not say what. By 3 pm, they had all had enough at the waterpark, so they all went back to the hotel for a siesta to prepare themselves for the long night ahead, at Kris birthday celebration.

Later on, they all went for something to eat at the hotel restaurant, and decided to take Kris’ presents down with them, so whilst they were eating, Kris was opening his presents from the others, and spent the rest of the meal laughing and joking. Once they had done eating they all headed up to their rooms to get ready.

By now it was late in the evening, the comedians and the strippers had been on at the club and now they had turned it over to the Karaoke part of the night, by now all of them had had plenty to drink, and were having a great time, Kris was on the Karaoke machine and had just finished singing the Beatles anthem Hey Jude, the rest of the gang had been cheering him on, and before he got of stage, he spoke to them in the mike (his voice was somewhat slurred he was slightly drunk), and said “I just want to thank my mates over there, you’re great, I love you all, you are all like family to me and I could not ..”

Kris suddenly stopped, as someone who had just walked into the bar had caught his attention, he closed his eyes momentarily thinking he was seeing things in his drunken haze, but she was still there when he opened them she was still there, by this time the others had turned to where Kris was staring, and all were surprised, however not for the same reason, the lads who knew nothing of Jess being in Majorca, were shocked by the very sight of her, whilst the girls were confused as to know where they had been going that night.

Zoe glanced at Steph, who was the only one not surprised by Jess’s presence, “You told her where we were didn’t you?” Zoe accused, all of a sudden Gilly and Zack turned around, “you knew she was here??” all the girls felt uncomfortable, knowing they had kept the truth from the lads. An argument proceeded between the group, and it was a couple of minutes later before they realised both Kris and Jess were no longer in the club.

In Kris’s drunken confusion, he ran out of the club, not wanting to deal with any of it, Jess called after him, but he refused to listen, and kept running. It was then Jess decided she had to try to tell him everything so she chased after him.

[anna42hmr]

chapter 16



It felt like she had been running for hours, in reality it had probably been only 20 minutes or so, her feet were killing her in her new shoes, so she had to stop for a minute, unfortunately it was then that she lost him. She sat on a bench overlooking the beach and tears started to stream down her face. As she looked out into the horizon, she saw a figure moving in the moonlit along the beach. She hoped it was Kris, but from this distance she could not be sure, she slowly walked towards the man in the distance, quietly and slowly, in fear that if it was Kris, she would scare him off again.

As she got closer, she realised it was Kris, and slowly approached him, she sat down by him and heard a sound of him crying gently. Kris had his face in his hands and did not even realise she was next to him, until she gently stroked him arm, “Kris?” His head shot up, and suddenly looked into her eyes, neither knew what to say, they were just locked into the moment, suddenly they moved there heads closer, and momentarily they kissed, all of a sudden though Kris jolted away from her, and walked away, Jess followed him, trying to get him to look after her “Get lost Jess” “Please Kris, can we talk” “Why would I want to talk to a selfish cow like you, go to hell Jess” his hate and venom in the way he spoke shocked her, they had fought in the past, but even at the most heated, she never saw the look in his eyes that was there in this instant. It was then she realised that she could never take back what she did and she new he would hate her forever, and that was before she told him about keeping their child a secret. She tried again to talk to him, but Kris refused and just walked away, Jess realising she was defeated just sat on the beach, crying, and thinking how much she had destroyed any chances they once had.

After a while, she decided to go back to the apartment so the babysitter could go home. After the babysitter had left, Jess walked towards her daughters’ room, and opened the door and lay beside her daughter, needing to feel the comfort of having here near, as silent tears were shed for what may have been once upon a time.

Meanwhile back in the hotel room, Kris was lying in his bed staring at the sealing, unable to sleep.

chapter 17

There was an atmosphere at the hotel the next day Zoë was angry at Steph for going behind her back, the lads were angry the girls had not told them about bumping into Jess, and Kris was putting on an act that he could care less that she was around.

Steph spoke to Jess on the phone, and could tell that Jess was cut up about it, Steph also knew deep down Kris was in love with Jess still, but would not show it, so Steph managed to convince Jess to make one more attempt to speak to Kris, so Jess walked into the hotel, and knocked on Kris’s hotel room door. When he opened the door, Jess could see the pain in his eyes, but within seconds Kris’ mask had re-appeared, and any emotion was suddenly gone from his eyes and face. They had an argument, which resulted in Kris slamming the door in her face.

Just as she was walking out of the hotel, she bumped into Zoë, “What are you doing here, don’t you think you did enough damage”
“Zo please” Jess pleaded, but just like Kris, Zoë was having none of it.

A few days had passed and to any outsider they would think nothing was wrong, but in reality there was an under currant of tension between them. Towards the end of the holiday, things had started to calm down, and eventually the gang was back to normal.

It was the second week of the holiday, and they were leaving in a few days time, Kris decided to take a quiet walk along the beach on his own. It was then that Kris noticed a young family in the distance, two young women were walking with another man and a young toddler was playing in the sand by the water edge. The young man suddenly picked the giggling girl up in the air and started swinging her around pretending she was an aeroplane, while the other two women were laughing at their actions. Kris stood watching them for a while, wishing he had his own family. The younger woman took the little girl out of the mans arms and smothered the giggling child with kisses. The man then kissed and hugged the two women and kissed their cheeks and blew a raspberry at the little girl and waved them goodbye as he walked away from the beach. The two women were chatting away oblivious at the person who was watching them, it was then as the women walked towards where Kris was standing. As they got closer, it was then that he realised the beautiful woman carrying the young child was non other than Jess.

It was then Kris realised that Jess had moved on without him, she had obviously settled down with someone else and had a family, and he was determined that one way or another he would get over her and get on with his life, the question was how, and that was something he had been trying to work out for the last couple of years, with little success.

Sure he had a good job at a radio station that broadcasted across the whole of the North of England, and some good mates, even if they did keep secrets from him, but he still could not move past his love for Jessica.

[anna42hmr]

chater 18

That night, Kris’ sleep was haunted with dreams of the family scene he saw on the beach, except instead of the man he had never seen before, it was him with them, swinging their little girl in his arms, chasing after her on the beach and giving Jess a hug goodbye. He woke up, angry with himself and with his brain for not letting him move on. He joined the others for breakfast, when he learned they had all agreed to go Karting for the day, Kris to try and keep his mind off Jess, agreed to go with them.

The Karting worked, for a few hours Kris managed to forget his troubles, and broken heart, and decided to shut Rhys up, who had been making smart comments about Kris and being laddish not mixing, Kris took a huge delight in beating Rhys time, and everyone else’s for that matter, and the look on Rhys’ face was a picture.

They all decided to walk back from the Karting Centre, as it was a lovely day. Little did they know that the walk would take them past the very media centre in which Jess worked, and was just leaving right at that moment. Jess said goodbye to her work colleagues and was just about to get in her car, just as she was doing that she saw him and the others walking down the road. She panicked for a second, then realised that this may be her last chance to talk to him, as Steph had told her they were leaving in a few days. Jess took a deep breath and walked over to them, they were all civil towards her except Kris and Zoe who both blanked her completely. This hurt Jess, but decided she needed to try.

“Kris can we talk, there is something I need to speak to you about”
“I thought I made myself clear the other day, what part of drop dead do you not get”
“Please Kris, don’t be like that”
“I have every right to be like this” Kris shouted, deep down he did not mean that, but he was too afraid to let her in, to be hurt again, besides he was dreading her telling him about her “happy little family”
“Kris stop being so pig headed, all I am asking is that we talk on our own, if you never want to see me again after that I will never try to contact you again”
“ME PIG HEADED THAT’S A LAUGH,” he shouted
“PLEASE CAN WE STOP SHOUTING? PEOPLE ARE WATCHING”
“THAT’S TYPICAL JESS, ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT APPEARNCES”
“IT’S NOT LIKE THAT,”

In many ways the screaming match was a flash back to the past for those watching, but unlike the old banter between Kris and Jess, it was filled with anger and hate.

“WHATEVER JESS, JUST GO BACK TO YOUR HAPPY LITTLE FAMILY, AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE”
That very phrase took her back, she knew Steph had not told him about Katie, and from what Steph said, none of the girls had told him of her existence either
“THAT’S RIGHT JESS, I SAW YOU ON THE BEACH, THAT KID OF YOURS, AND WHOEVER THAT POOR BLOKE YOU CONNED, YOU FOOLED HIM INTO BELIEVING YOU WONT LET HIM DOWN TOO! HAVEN’T YOU!”
Jess was shocked, she realise that he must have seen her with Jane and Paul at the beach the other day, Paul was the son of her fathers friend who got her the job at the media centre, Paul was also Katie’s god fathe. Paul once upon a time had a crush on Jess, but that was long ago, and they were just friends now, his girlfriend Jane, was one of Jess’s few close friends on the island. Jess tried to tell Kris this, but he would not listen, he was too caught up in his anger and hurt at Jess. The two started rowing again, and in the heat of the moment Jess screamed at Kris, “SHE IS YOUR CHILD YOU IDIOT,” Everyone went silent. She had not meant to tell him this way, and regretted it instantly.

After a few moments Kris finally responded, “Why should I believe you”
“I promise you it is the truth, I would not lie about this Kris, I swear”
“Your word does not mean much does it Jess, you swore to me that you would not be like the others, that no matter what you would be there, you would be part of my life”,

Jess had a memory of a conversation they had a long while ago, they were lying in bed, Kris was upset about what had happened with his brother, and he had the conversation with his parents stating they wanted nothing to do with him, he was cut up about it. Jess was holding Kris as he sobbed in her arms, Jess was stroking his hair and holding him in her arms, “you have me no matter what Kris, I will never let you down, or leave you, I am afraid you are stuck with me”

Jess did not know what to say, she knew that Kris did not trust her or believe that she was telling the truth. Kris started to walk towards the hotel, the others were stood motionless staring after him. Jess tried to catch up with Kris, but he had noticed a taxi coming down the road, so before Jess could catch up, he jumped into the taxi, and off he sped out of their sight.

[anna42hmr]

chapter 19

They had assumed that Kris had gone back to the hotel, Jess was desperate to see Kris, so decided she would go to the hotel with the others, Jess offered them all a lift, however all except for Steph refused, all were still confused and angry at Jess and the outburst she had before, all remembering what happened to Kris, and were all very worried about what he may do. Jess and Steph arrived at the hotel first, Jess was obviously upset about what had happened, the others arrived not much longer, but they found Steph and Jess walking up and down the reception obviously very worried. Kris had not returned to the hotel, and they had no idea where he had gone. Zack had said that maybe he just wants some peace, he will be back soon, but hours had past, and no sign of him. They all decided to sit in the lounge area by the hotel reception, that way there was no way they would miss Kris when he decided to return. Zoë kept sending evil looks towards Jess, and you could cut the tension with a knife. Reluctantly Jess said she had to leave, she had to fetch her daughter from the nursery, Steph promised that as soon as she heard anything she would call.

It was another 4 hours until Kris wondered into the hotel, he had obviously had a few too many to drink. Jess was called and told what had happened, she wanted to come to speak to Kris now, but Steph managed to persuade her not to come today, he was not in the right state of mind for any conversations.

The next 2 days, Jess tried to speak to Kris on several occasions, either on the phone, or when in person, as she popped to the hotel a couple of times, however no matter what he refused to speak to her. She had no idea if he believed he was Katie’s father, or whether he just did not want his daughter in his life.

Jess was running out of time, they were flying back to England in a day and a half’s time so she realised, if Kris would not speak to her to let her explain, she would have to tell him somehow.

It was then that she decided she would have to write him a letter to explain what had gone on. However that was easier said than done, she sat on the balcony at her apartment, and attempted to write the letter, it was only on the 8th attempt that she decided she was satisfied with what she had written. Ironic really she thought, for someone who made her living from writing, but so much hung in the balance based on this letter, she needed it to be right.

chapter 20

The very next morning, Jess phoned Steph and asked her to come round, Steph did, telling the others she was popping to the bank, it was then that Jess asked Steph to give the letter to Kris, knowing that he would not take it from her directly. Steph agreed, and went straight back to the hotel, and right to where Kris was sitting by the pool, deep in thought.

“Hi”
“Hi, ive just been to see Jess”
Just by the very mention of her name, Kris’s guard went up, “so you can see who you want” he snapped.
“She asked me to give you this”
Steph handed him a pale pink envelope, with Jess’s writing on the front, which simply said ‘Kris’.
He said nothing, and simply lay down on his stomach to sunbathe.

Zack had witnessed what had happened the between Kris and Steph, and new that deep down Kris was hurting over it, and still wanted to be with Jess.

Later in the afternoon, Zack went to Kris’s room and knocked on the door. Kris was getting ready for the last night out on the holiday, as they were flying out the next evening. “You not opening it then”
“Opening what” Kris asked, oblivious to the fact that Zack heard what Steph had said to him.
“The letter, idiot”
“No why should I”
“You not in the slightest bit curious over what she has to say?”
“No I am not, drop the subject”
Kris then promptly walked up to the dressing table where he had threw the letter onto, and picked it up, and dumped it in the bin
“There that’s where it belongs now”

Zack realised that Kris could be making a mistake and may regret throwing the letter out eventually, but did not dare to confront Kris, as when he was in this frame of mind there was no knocking sense into him. Instead when Kris went into the bathroom, Zack retrieved the letter from the bin, and placed it in between the pages of one of Kris’s books, in the hope that he would find it one day when he had calmed down, hopefully that would be sooner rather than later.

chapter 21

The next day was soon here, Jess had not heard from Kris, she had no idea if he even read the letter, Steph had told her she had given it to her, but she did not know what he did with it after that. She new time was running out, but she was at a loss what to do, it was then she realised there was nothing more she could do, she had tried to see him, to tell him the truth in person, she had tried to phone him, and the letter was her last resort.

She was walking along the beach with Katie at 5 in the afternoon, it was then she realised that it was over, there was no hope, there plane was leaving at 5.30 so if he had wanted anything to do with either of them, he would have been there by now. She sat on the beach whilst Katie was playing near by in the sand. She couldn’t stop the tears that were falling down her cheeks, she hated this she refused to allow herself to cry infront of her daughter, but this time, she did not have the strength within her to hold the tears in. Katie stopped playing, and toddled towards her mommy, “momma, luv yu” Katie said, which just made Jess’s tears fall harder. Jess held her arms out to Katie, and mother and daughter sat holding each other.

Meanwhile, all of the gang, Zack, Zoë, Kris, Gilly, Rhys, Steph, Emma, Elliott and Isabelle boarded the plane home, all of them quietly reflecting on the events that had unfolded during their holiday. Not long later, the plane took off.

Meanwhile back at the beach, mother and daughter were still sitting together on the beach, “look plane momma, plane momma” Katie said pointing up in the air, at that very moment, Jess realised that it was over for good, that they were gone, and it was unlikely she would see any of them again, especially not Kris.

Jess silently said to herself “Bye Kris, I am so sorry, I really am” her tears started to fall yet again, not for herself this time, because she knew she loved him with all her heart, but she had bought it all on herself, but her tears were for her daughter and for the man she loved, as Katie and Kris would never know what it would be like to have a real father/daughter relationship, and that was all her own fault.