1. Sex Drive



A 97-year-old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered."


"Sir," replied the doctor, "you're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?"


"You're damned right is! said the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!"



2. The Nurse



A nurse walks into a bank preparing to sign a cheque. When she gets to the counter, she reaches in her pocket, pulls out a rectal thermometer and tries to write with it.


She looks up at the teller, pauses for a moment, then realizing her mistake she says, "Well that's great ... just great ... Some asshole's got my pen."