Just for Alan "The Alan45 Joke Thread"

[exhiday09]

Haha....

I was so not being serious when I said to make another thread, but whatever.

I just thought we were straying too much.


That being said.... If I ever get the urge to write an Atlus Online based fan fic... Ill post it up here.

[Abigail]

Haha....

I was so not being serious when I said to make another thread, but whatever.

I just thought we were straying too much.


That being said.... If I ever get the urge to write an Atlus Online based fan fic... Ill post it up here.

What is this post about?!

[alan45]

Haha....

I was so not being serious when I said to make another thread, but whatever.

I just thought we were straying too much.


That being said.... If I ever get the urge to write an Atlus Online based fan fic... Ill post it up here.

What is this post about?!

Just have a look at some of his/her other posts and the word TROLL springs to mind

[Meh]

Troll or someone with psychological problems ...

[alan45]

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he
walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks
into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a
room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks
into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the
four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24"
stomach and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My
God."

[alan45]

Five surgeons were discussing which profession provided the best patients to operate on.

The first says: “I like to see Accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second responds: “Yeah, but you should try Electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded.”

The third says: “No, I really think Librarians are the best, Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth chimes in: “You know, I like Construction workers. These guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no Guts, no Heart, no Balls, no brains, and no Spine, and there are only 2 moving parts – the Mouth and the Backside, which are both interchangeable.”

[alan45]

DurIng a recent PASSWORD AUDIT at the Bank of Ireland


It was found that Paddy O'Toole was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyDublin

When Paddy was asked why he had such a long password: he replied

''Bejazus! are yez feckin' stupid? Shore Oi was told me password had to
be at least 8 characters long and include one capital.''





Don't ever think you can outwit the Irish!

[alan45]

The Pope and Tiger Woods died on the same day and because of an administrative mixup
the Pope went to Hell and Tiger Woods went to Heaven.. The Pope explains the situation to the
administrative clerk in hell, and after checking the paperwork admits
that there is an error. "However," the clerk explains, "it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified."

Next day the Pope is called and Hell's staff bids him farewell. On the way up, the
Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from heaven and they stop to have a chat.



"Sorry about the mixup," apologies the Pope.


"No problem," replied Tiger Woods,



Pope: "I am really anxious to get to heaven."



Tiger: "Why is that?"



Pope: "All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary."



Tiger: "You're a day late."

[alan45]

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with asingle gesture, brings the two to life
The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues
After fifteen minutes , the two return, out of breath and laughing The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?' He asks her 'Shall we?' She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you sh!t on its head.'

----------AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING

[alan45]

A man (Bert) feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to
and
He thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to
discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could
perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from
her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In
the study.
He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.'

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife
and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?'
Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his
Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's
for Dinner?'
Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?'




(I just love this)




For dear sake 'Bert , for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'