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Thread: Jokes

  1. #341
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    Please do not post links to commercial sites without permission from the Admin

  2. #342
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    Quote Originally Posted by alan45 View Post
    Please do not post links to commercial sites without permission from the Admin
    r
    Alan, it is not a personal link.. it is url for a smilie that didn't work... it has the soapboard URL in it
    Super Mod

  3. #343
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siobhan View Post
    r
    Alan, it is not a personal link.. it is url for a smilie that didn't work... it has the soapboard URL in it
    Have you tried it

  4. #344
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jojo View Post
    HAHA really very hot

    http://www.centplay.com/affiliate/games_4320/
    Last edited by amzee92; 28-11-2012 at 02:58.

  5. #345
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    Deep in the back woods of Letcher County Kentucky, a hill billy's wife went into labour in the middle of the night and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, 'Here, you hold this high so I can see what I am doing!'
    Soon a baby boy was brought into the world. 'Whoa there', said the doctor, 'Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down, I think there's another one coming.'
    Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. 'Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!' said the doctor.
    Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby. 'No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!' cried the doctor.
    The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor, . .. . . ....
    'You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?'

  6. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Perdita For This Useful Post:

    Dazzle (17-05-2015), maidmarian (17-05-2015), tammyy2j (18-05-2015), Tuareet (18-05-2015)

  7. #346
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    .
    Quote Originally Posted by Perdita View Post
    Deep in the back woods of Letcher County Kentucky, a hill billy's wife went into labour in the middle of the night and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, 'Here, you hold this high so I can see what I am doing!'
    Soon a baby boy was brought into the world. 'Whoa there', said the doctor, 'Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down, I think there's another one coming.'
    Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. 'Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!' said the doctor.
    Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby. 'No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!' cried the doctor.
    The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor, . .. . . ....
    'You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?'

  8. #347
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    No offence to the Scottish intended

    Donating blood in Scotland
    A wealthy Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose.
    As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.
    Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
    After the surgery, in appreciation for giving his blood, the Arab sent the Scotsman a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds, and $50,000 dollars.
    A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.
    The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate more of his blood again.
    After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Black Magic chocolates.
    The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had before.
    He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW, diamonds and money ...
    but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of chocolates."
    To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins."


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  10. #348
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    Dear people who type all in lower case,
    We are the differece between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.. Sincerely, Capital Letters


    Could not copy this from the original for some reason but think this is a clever way to explain the difference
    Last edited by Perdita; 12-02-2016 at 19:30.

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  12. #349
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    With apologies to the Irish. No offence intended!


    During a recent Password Audit at the Bank of Ireland, it was found that Paddy O'Toole was using the following password:

    MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyDublin

    When Paddy was asked why he had such a long password, he replied "Bejazus! Are yez stupid? Oi was told me password had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital!"

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  14. #350
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    Very funny jokes Perdita and Pantherboy!

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