Any experiences with 'Mean Girls'

[annaz]

Today, I didn't realise anyone in my year was so coniving. There is this girl, and we hang around each other a lot. When it was a school trip I borrowed her Heat magazine and she asked for it back the next day. I got a lift in my mums car but I left it in the car but she was letting my dad take it to work at half three in the morning. I obviously couldn't give it to her for the next couple of days, I said I was sorry and told her the reasons why I couldn't give it back, the next day. I got it back to her today but she's refused to speak to me, she just snatched it and went off. She's been telling everyone how mean I have been and spreading rumours about how I nick her things. I can't believe she would do this. She's made lots of people turn their backs on me and has said loads of things and I've been crying all afternoon, in I.T, French and Art. She's went in loads of moods before and not spoke to me, but usually the next day she'll talk to me. Never once, in all the time we have been friends have I ever been nasty to her, stopped speaking to her or talked about her behind her back. I'm so sick of her, she's not worth my time.

Anyone else have any experiences with any mean girls at school or when you were at school?

[Abigail]

Yeah, my "best" friend fell out with me cos I didn't write in her year book when we left school in May but I knew she was just looking for an excuse cos she doesn't like not being the centre of attention.
There were four of us, close friends, Rach, me, Naomi and Katie.
I was ill for several months and at our school we have an alternative learning unit for kids who can't get on in lessons, are ill etc etc. So I was in there almost every day for god knows how many months cos I was too ill to go to lessons. And because I was getting attention she wasn't happy, she kept saying slightly nastily, "are you comin to science today?" (science was the only lesson we had together) then she'd say "you're leaving me on my own again" and go off in a huff, even though we had mutual friends in that lesson so she wouldn't be totally on her own.
So anyway, because I hadn't been in lessons much I didn't really get time to write an essay in her year book about how good a friend she was and the old times blah blah blah and she wouldn't let me take it home.
So the day before leavers' assembly Katie sent me a message "by accident" saying bitchy things about me like how I had ages to write in Naomi's book and I'm 2 faced. I replied and she started an argument over me not writing in Naomi's book then she came online and started having another go. I wouldn't mind but I'd been asking Katie to write in my book for weeks and she refused. Of course, when she came online she denied all knowledge of me asking her to write in my book. I told her I had proof cos Andy, Rach's bf, was sat next to me everytime I asked her. Then she said "yeah I know things about you two..." and went offline. I knew I shouldn't have let her wind me up but I was so angry that she was dragging other people into it. I txt Andy and told him what she'd said and I warned him that she would drag Rach into it somehow. He didn't believe me.
The next day, Katie txt Rach saying she needed to meet up with her cos she had something really really important to tell her. Rach refused at first, cos she knew what had gone on between me and Katie, but Katie wouldn't give up so she went to meet her. The little swine told her that I was out to steal her bf and we'd been seeing each other behind her back! And guess who she got this from? Naomi. Only, none of it was true. I told Naomi that I fancied Andy before they got together that I like him (by this point they had been together 8 months) so obviously I'm after her bf, my best male mate
This is turning out to be very long...
Yeah, so I'm after her bf, I'm a rubbish mate, self centred, not bothered about anybody else...
I apologised to Naomi for not writing in her book and I said I'd do it next time I saw her (I was online). She said ok and she should be the one apologising for making a big fuss. She didn't. Not that I'm bothered cos she wasn't bothered when I was in hospital, all she cared about was me leaving her on her own in science.
Leaver's assembly, she didn't speak to me at all. At the end, Angels came on and everyone started crying. Naomi had gone by the time we'd all stopped crying. She was stood outside waiting for me and she just looked at me.
And that was the end. We haven't spoken since. I don't speak to Katie anymore after what she said about me. Me and Rach are really good mates now. But I still miss my best friend. I miss having somebody to talk to. As good friends are me and Rach, its just not the same kind of relationship that I had with Naomi.
She's blocked me on MSN, she ignores me in the corridors. All because I didn't write in her yearbook.
That was a really long story, people know what happened but I've never wrote it down. I know how hard it is when people tell others that you're trying to split people up and they bitch about you. I'm getting slightly emotional thinking about what I've lost. I know I'll never talk to Katie again after what she said about me, it was unforgivable. But Naomi, I think I might email her and see if we can at least be civil.
Once you've lost a best friend its very hard to find somebody who cared that much about you again.
hmmm that was very long, sorry for being long winded.

[annaz]

Wow, I can't believe someone could be so self-centered like that. She was your best friend, she should have been there for you! Hope you're okay!

Also in I.T, my so called 'best friend' and some girl Lily who she dragged into, Lily was only interested cos she's a stirrer and likes to b**** about everyone. She blatently spoke about me, claiming that I'd pushed my best friend over and that I cut myself and she felt pity for me because I was so pathetic.

I'm thinking about going to my Head of Year, I'm sick of being upset. I don't wanna grass on anyone though but still... Maybe I could write her a note?

[Abigail]

Why don't you try talking to her first, say that you don't like the way she's acting and if it carries on you will go to your head of year. Say it in company of others who will back you up, maybe she will feel some shame about what shes doing. Leave it a few days to see if it continues and if it does go to your HOY.
It's not grassing, she's making serious allegations saying you cut yourself. If she says it around a teacher they will have pass it on to child protection and once it gets to that stage its a whole lot worse as you will have to prove that you don't and your parents will get involoved.

[annaz]

I've tried to speak to her but she just walks away and is constantly with a new group of people. But I know the only reason she hangs around with them is because they will believe anything she says because they love to gossip and talk about people.

Thanks for the quick reply too

[Abigail]

With friends like those who needs enimies?
If you can't get through to her and she's being a total b**** go see your HOY on Monday. You've tried to sort it out with her and it hasn't worked so s/he should do something about it.
You're better of finding some new friends who don't bitch about others. Lads are the best friends to have cos they never bitch about people (unless they're very camp lol). Don't let her drag you down or get drawn into an argument. That was a mistake I made, if I had just walked away from the situation maybe things would be ok.

[Xx-Vicky-xX]

Dont get me started on so called mates being mean to you i had so many problems with that its unbelieveable

[Kim]

I think some people had better sort out their priorities. She'd probably read the magazine anyway. I've let someone borrow a dvd, and I gave it to them in like May, and I still don't have it back. Oh well, it's not like it's a digital camera or anything.

I've had plenty. Once, I took this teddy thing into school in reception, and my friend decided she wanted it, so demanded that I give it to her. I didn't, so she kicked me up the privates for it! The next thing I knew she was stealing chocolates off of me; now she's making friends with my worst enemy.

Another time there was these two girls who started pushing me over in the cloakroom on purpose. So I told a teacher, and they locked me in the school one day. A dinnerlady told me off for that! Another time, one of the girls made up a silly little lie that I whacked her round the leg with a chair, because she stole my chair and there were no others, so I stole it back when she got out of it. The next thing I knew, she was cornering me in the playground saying that I had to 'confess,' or she'd get her Dad on me!

[Katy]

people say boys are horrible but girls are alot worse. With lads they will have a fight give each other a few punches, kicks bites what have you and its over. Girls on the other hand are another kettle of fish, vile comments that really hurt not like a black eye. Stirring, rumours, they can be really vile. I have been lucky and never really experienced anything like that and if i had i would just kick off and have the male appraochj give them a smack, which is wrong but that way you dont feel half as bad. One of the worst experiences i have probably had was just a few snidy remarks about by level of intelligence in an RE lesson, of one of the girls who is very clever. Well that was it, kicked off completly then the teacher told me to calm down so i threw my pencil case at her and threw the text book at the horrible girl. Then nothing else could happen as i was put in isolation. Oh well, it was no big deal as it was a bit of a second home the isolation room. But i have seen other peopel really hurt by girls who have just said really awful comments.

[Amber]

I had a 'friend' called Jess and in year 7 we were really good mates. That was until she started hanging around with one of the bitchiest, two-faced girls I've ever met. Her name was Emma. She'd sit on the back desk with Jess and whisper and giggle. I knew they were talking about me and my friends because if I looked over at them Emma would smile and say "Hiya!" in such a fake voice it was sickening.

Now I'm in year 11 and a while ago I was talking to Jess and I asked her why she stopped being my friend. She said that I'd changed and that I wasn't as nice as I used to be. I told her that I wasn't the one who had changed and that it was her who wasn't as nice as she used to be.

Schools are very bitchy places to be so don't let it bother you. As long as you have mates who you can trust and rely on, just try to ignore the nasty comments but if really starts to become a problem, tell a teacher or a parent.

Hope everything gets sorted out for you
xx