alternative hollyoaks

[crazy_purple]

Evening all. I don't know if you remember me but I used to write my 'funny' (heh) versions of each Eastenders episode last year - I stopped because I don't watch it anymore. Well I thought I'd start doing the same for Hollyoaks because I'm addicted to it That's if you like the idea. I'll post the first part later tonight if you want.

kate

[Jada-GDR]

ooh goodie cant wait for it to start and what do you mean "heh"? they were brilliant! i loved them!

[crazy_purple]

yay OK then

Previously on Hollyoaks...

Friday: So Sam tried to take Sophie (or possibly Mel, I don't know) hostage. Calvin tries to solve the situation by crushing a pint glass into the back of his head. (Sam's head, not his own. That would just be plain silly.) It looks fun, but Sam drops the lighter anyway. Now the Dog is on fire (RSPCA!) and Darren goes all heroic, which is nice. Joe redeems himself for all the laziness by trying to save Olivia, but they vanish in a puff of smoke. Literally. Russ goes in to get Sophie and attempts to spit on Sam, or at least I think he did. Maybe he remembered the "I wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire" thing and changed his mind. They shelter in a Convenient Church that didn't exist until now. Sophie runs about waving her arms and screaming for Mel, before randomly becoming dead. OB lives and is taken to hospital; but not before Max has spotted him and jumped in the ambulance with him, proclaiming "He's my best mate!" All together now - awwww yay!

Tuesday: The streets are still all full of woe after the explosion. The dead include Joe (the Evil Gods of Irony didn't appreciate him faking his own death earlier on), Olivia (who?), Sophie and Mel, and Sam (but no-one really minds about him).
OB wakes up and is horrified to see Clare hovering above him. I don't blame him. Wouldn't you be? Max tells him that they belong together. (Not in that way. But yay anyways.)

Today (Wednesday): OB has discharged himself from hospital and tries to show Max the DVD. He apologises a lot before showing him a cartoon (well, it wasn't a very good cartoon). Max is understandably confused.
Not much else happens except Sarah asks Gilly out (why?) and that really annoying new guy shouts at Jessica for being upset that Olivia is dead. I was confused. He also reads Olivia's diary. That's nice of him, isn't it.

(more detailed ones after tomorrow, I'm having to do these from memory )

[di marco]

great! i loved your ee ones so cant wait to read more of the hollyoaks ones!

[crazy_purple]

Thursday:
OB finds a card that Evil!Clare has left for Sophie and Mel, grows a pair and shoves her against the wall, all scary and with a burnt forehead (ooh.) She goes to kiss him and he runs away screaming (in his head..) It reminded me of that bit from the end of Hannibal when he goes to bite her nose off. Only scarier.
Michaela forces Amy to take a pregnancy test in the school toilets, like you do. They chat about astronauts and thumbs for a bit and then find out she's having a baybee. (Amy, it could be worse. There was a girl in my year 11 class last year who was pregnant and when the teacher asked her how she felt about it, what she was going to do next and so on, she just did the ultimate "Bothered?" face. I dread to think what happened to the poor kid.)
Sarah goes out with Gilly, who looks like he should be in Oasis - I don't know why but I keep expecting him to break into a chorus of Live Forever or something. The Owens are all angsty. Russ is uncomfortable around Mercedes (so he should be, she's got a bloomin' stupid name). Jessica is (still) all emo about Olivia and how the others are treating her.

Argh, I'll have to go back to scribbling the funny bits down while I'm watching it like with EE. Whoa, I haven't watched it for 9 months now...