Victims

[leanne27]

I dont know if this thread will be used but i thought i would ste it up incase it might. Recently on one thread i stressed my annoyance at women or people who claim to have been date raped when they havn't (big brothers lesley) as i was assaulted, and to know some people actually lie about it is not something i like to here, i was just wondering if anyone on the boards have/are or know of people in the same situation as me who, in the past has been sexually assaulted and how they have coped with it,

i have been struggling loads recently with what happened and considered councelling a lot however have decided to wait a little longer before i do. I understand its hard to talk about and confide in people with however i find it even more difficult to talk to people i know about it, so if anyone would like to talk or ask anything (maybe you know a friend in a similar situation and would like to know how to handle it) I'm here and im sure the rest of you would like to offer any support and advice to others.

Assault is still a untalked about subject that does STILL go unnoticed but we all need to be aware and this thread can be used by any victims of any assault be physical, mental or sexual, I'm proud of myslef for making this thread for me and all of you even if its not chose to be used.

[Siobhan]

leanne, a close friend of mine has been abused from an early age and she has tried councelling. She didn't find it good at the time it happen or the few years after and she went of the rails as in she drank a lot and associated sex with love so slept with lots of guys. Now 10 years later she has a really good counceller, she said herself that the day she punches the guy in the face who did this to her, then she will be better but she is slowly getting there.

Like you, I get angry at people who cry rape and it is not really cause it make it harder for women/men who are raped to get there case to court and the abuser punished properly.

[leanne27]

it is something that does screw up your life to an extent- but it also can make you a better person, or a stronger person at least- call me big headed but i like to think that i can cope with anything now as I've got through something as serious as that, Im glad your friend has got some one to talk to, some think talking about it dredges up the past but it think overall it helps you come to terms.

[xStephaniex]

i really really hate people who lie about this subject too !! i think you'd have to be really sick to make summink like that up ! iv been attacked twice in the last year and i found it soo hard to cope with n i stilll do. , when my friend saw how upset i was bout it at skewl she stoped talkin to me and came up with she'd also been attacked. and then we had a huge fall out and she said a lot of hurtfull things to me like - i deserved it, i probably asked for it and then spread it round the school i was a slut. and then admittted to me she lyedd about it just to see my reaction. i felt so sick after it. - how can someone make a fake joke outta what others have really been through. i havn't been friends with her since.
i thinkk you should consider talking to someone. but when your ready. goodluck hun and if you ever want to talk im here for u . x x x

[Chloe O'brien]

i personally haven't been in that situation but i do have family members who have suffered (my nephew and neices) my nephew was nine one neice was six and another six weeks old when they were taken into care as the nine year old and six year old were showing signs of abuse by my nephew step-father. Although it was not taken to court my nephew was placed in care until he was sixteen and my sister only had access to him at weekends. Thankfully he is now twenty six years old and a father himself. he is a successful businessman with a thriving business and a heart of gold. All I can say to people who cry wolf is that stop and think of what you are doing and think of the thousands of real victims in all of this my family especally my sister were robbed of seven years of my nephews up bringing were we were only aloud to see him at weekends and all male family relatives such as uncles and grandads were treated by police as if they were peodophiles

[Chris_2k11]

i realllllly reallllly hwte people whoo lieee waabout thiss subject too !!> i thnk you'd hve to bee really sickk to mke summink likt that up !!!!> iav been attackedd trwice in the last yeard and i found itt soo hard to copee with n i stillld o.!! , hwne my frined saasw how upset i wass bout it at skewl shee stoped tlkin to me andd came upp withh she'd also been atcaked. andd then ewe hadd a huge fall out n shee said a lot of hurtfull thingss like - i deserveddit, i probablyy hasked for it andd then spread itt round the school i wsa a sluyt. andd thenn admitttedd to mee she lyedd about ti andd jus wanted to see my reaction. i feltt soo sick after it. - horw can someeone meake a fake joke aioutta whatt others have really been through. i havn't been friendss with her sincee.
i thinkk yu should consider talkingg to someeoione. butt when your ready. goodluck hun andd if you evere wantt to talk im here for ux x x

steff, what's with all the double letters? lol

[leanne27]

yeah i should talk to someone really steff, its just that once i do there's no going back if you get what i mean, I'm sorry about your friend lying to you, but if she knew what you had been through and STILL lied then in my opinion she was no good friend. When it happened to me my friends were there for me to an extent, but they could still not relate to me at all. Do you feel "differnt" to other people after it happend, like somethig changed and it can never go back? that's the main feeling i experience everyday, damaged in a way and totally different and unconfidant comapred to other people.

[xStephaniex]

steff, what's with all the double letters? lol

sorry lol im just editing it now !! i wasn't exactly typing too well last night shall i say *pulls staright face*.

[xStephaniex]

yeah i should talk to someone really steff, its just that once i do there's no going back if you get what i mean, I'm sorry about your friend lying to you, but if she knew what you had been through and STILL lied then in my opinion she was no good friend. When it happened to me my friends were there for me to an extent, but they could still not relate to me at all. Do you feel "differnt" to other people after it happend, like somethig changed and it can never go back? that's the main feeling i experience everyday, damaged in a way and totally different and unconfidant comapred to other people.

i talked to a consellor and for me it didn't help. but i talked to one about getting nightmares that it would happen again. and it prooved to me that you really cant trust your friends or most of them. i have a small group of friends who i worship for being there for me all the time, and i dont think they'll ever know how gratefull you are for them to be there, i have really changed since its happened. its like a part has gone in side you but refilled with something stronger. sometimes i cant cope atall and i get so drunk i pass out or like last night i talk to much and come out with it. but i feel better for saying it after because its like you've let everythink out and you know you can relate to people in the same posistion. and you want to help each other.
if you didn't want to see a councellor, could you talk to your mum ? . or a friend that you really have to trust with all your soul !.

[leanne27]

It first happened to me when i was 5 by a girl who i used to trust, and then again when i was 14 and 15 by two boys the same age as me who went to my school- they sexuall harrassed me as wel as assault for nearly 2 years, my mum never really saw the seriousness of the situation and tries to forget about it all, she wants me to do the same, but i just can't, she find me talking to her about the assaults uncomfortable and hates me to talk about it.