when you have to let go

[hunterz_girl]

short chapter sorry folks!

hugh this is stupid! just put it down’ sams hand was trembling ‘ give me the gun’

‘ stupid? its not stupid... love’ hugh paused ‘ you need to know how it feels to loose someone you love and know that you will never see them again’

‘ hugh... please dont do anything stupid, you just need help’

‘ i dont need help... i need you’

‘ i will help you, sam moved forward ‘ come on hugh, give this up now, you can get through this’ sam was now facing hugh ‘come on’

hugh sneered and pushed sam to the floor

‘your just a slut! you always have been and always will be!

phil lunged himself forward at hugh , grabbing hold of hugh arm and moving the gun away from himslef, suddenly there was a gun shot... there was a another... and then a scream...

‘ phil...’

two bodies fell to the floor, blood pouring out, footsteps were coming closer, voices were becoming louder...

‘ PHIL ‘ sam collapsed on the floor holding phil in her arms‘ please dont die’

neil manson and jack medows appeared followed by SO19 and abi..

jack was holding sam back ‘ its ok , he will be ok, were gonna look after him

‘someone get the paramedics in here now’ neil shouted ‘ is he dead?’ neil looked over to the limp body of hughs

‘ i hope so ‘ sam hissed, tears streaming down her face ‘its gonna be ok baby i wont let you die’

[hunterz_girl]

sam slowly walked down the corrider and headed towards abis cubicle, she pulled back the curtain, abi was asleep, sam started to cry, she was so happy that abi was safe again, she walked quietly in and sat down next to abi and watched her as she slept. after about 20 minutes abi woke up her eyes fluttering open and closed

‘ abi?’

‘mum’ abi sobbed ‘ im sorry’

‘its ok’ sam stroked her face ‘ no-one is going to hurt you again’

‘is..is he dead?’

‘ no, but he is going away for a long time, there is no way he will ever hurt you again’

‘ how is phil?’ abi tried to sit up

‘ shhh its ok , just stay still you need to rest’ sam sighed ‘ phils still in theatre, but hes going to be ok’ a tear rolled down sams face

‘why arent you waiting for him?’

‘ i needed to know that you were ok, your more important abi.’

‘ im fine’ abi smiled ‘ im tired, like you said i should rest, go and see phil’ abi yawned ‘ im not going any where’

‘ are you sure you dont mind? im mean phil would understand’ sam stood up

‘ hmm’ abi nodded ‘ really, just go’ she laughed

sam smiled and kissed abi on the head ‘ i love you abi’ she quickly walked down the corrider and went to the reception

‘ hi , i just wanted to know if phil hunter is out of theatre yet?’

‘one moment i’ll just check for you’

sam waited for a while until the a nurse appeared

‘ hi, mrs hunter?’

‘ umm...im..not... i mean yes?’

‘mr hunter is fine, hes a bit drowsy from the operation but if you would like to go in thats fine, i’ll take you to him now’

‘thanks’ sam smiled and followed the nurse

‘ hello mr hunter, your wife is here to see you’

‘my wife?’ phil looked confused

the nurse left and sam walked in

‘oh, my wife’ he grinned

sam went red ‘ she just though...

‘ it dosen’t matter ‘ he laughed’ well dont i get a kiss? he smiled

sam walked over and sat on phils bed, phil put his hand on her face and lent in for a kiss , their lips meeting once again ...

‘ oh sorry’

sam quickly jumped off the bed... it was jack

‘ guv’ sam said sheepishly

jack just laughed ‘ like a pair of teenagers you two, you really thought that i didnt know there was something going on?’

phil just looked over to sam , and laughed

‘ well you would of found out sooner or later i suppose’

‘ look i’ll come back later , leave you two to get back to where you were’ he chuckled to himself and walked off

sam bit her lip and looked at phil

‘ you dont think he’ll say anything do you?

‘ nah, he wont... anyway where were we? he grinned

[hunterz_girl]

‘so mrs hunter, what now?’ phil grinned sam still laid there resting her head on phils shoulder

‘ hmmm?’ sam opened her eyes and looked up at phil ‘ i best go check on abi’ sam sat up and let a long yawn

‘ and then promise me you will get some rest? you’ve been through as much as any of us today, ok?

‘i promise’ sam kissed phil and left to check on abi she walked back in to abis cubicle only to find abi not there , sams heart skipped a beat she quickly looked round trying to find her

‘mum?’ abi was standing beside sam

‘god dont do that’ sam flung her arms around abi, nearly squeezing her to death

‘ im sorry’ abi laughed ‘ i only went to get some magazines ‘ and the nurse said i could go... and i didnt want to...interupt you and phil’

sam felt her self going slightly red again ‘ ok cheeky, i’ll take you home now if you want?

‘ yeah please mum...what about phil? will he be staying with us?

‘ your pushing your luck madam ‘ sam laughed and put her arm around abi ‘ come on i’ll take you home now, and no phil wont be out until tommorow’

sam and abi left walking slowly down the corrider , there was alot of catching up to do and alot to talk about.

next week at the station

‘ sam!’ sam heard neil hiss and turned around to see him marching over to her desk

nice to see you too guv! sam thought to herself

‘yes guv?’

‘ i wasnt expecting to see you back so soon, i thought you were resting? his voice full of sarcasm

nice to know you care she thought to herself

‘ well i couldnt stay at home any longer, i was going out my mind, and anyway i know that your really busy and could do with an extra pair of hands ‘ sam smiled know thats sarcasm she thought

‘ when, and if i needed your help DS nixon i would of asked for it, i can not have any of my officers acting unprofessionally because they are not fit enough to be back at work’

‘ guv ‘ sam coughed to clear her throat ‘ when i feel ready to come back to work i will, and i feel that i am fit enough for work, I’m just trying to act professionally and not take any more time of work than i need too, if you feel in any way that i am not acting professional then please tell me so, other wise let me get on with my work’

by this time everyone was watching the whole room had become quiet and all eyes fixed upon sam and neil

‘ i do not wish to be spoken like that DS nixon, if you could find the time in your hectic day what with your commitment to your work i would like a word in my office’ he smirked ‘ and i would like an apolgy... now!

‘ sorry’ sam rolled her eyes, great she thought what a great first day back

‘ sorry ... what?’ neil glared

‘ sorry DI neil manson’

‘thankyou, and could you pop into my office later, i also need to take your satement about what really happened with hugh wallis’ neil quickly walked off to his office

phil came walking over and knelt by her desk

‘ whats wrong babe?’ he whispered

‘ hes so full of himself’ he hissed

‘ i know, and he deserved everyword of that, you know i think i might like it when you get angry ‘ he grinned

sam smiled to herself

‘but then again i like you however you are, especially when your with me’ his face nearer to sams

sam quickly looked up

‘ meet me in the interview room’ she smiled

back in neils office, neil was on the phone

‘ hugh... is that you? i think i might be interested in your little proposition now’ he smirked

[hunterz_girl]

sam... sam look we really ...must...best be getting back’ phil managed to get out between kisses

‘ hmmm’ sam smiled, looked up to phil and bit her lip ‘ do we?’ she leant in so her face was centimetres from phils, he could smell the sweet scent of her hair, her amazing eyes were glimmering ‘ i could think of another thing to do’ she giggled

‘ yes.. well’ phil laughed ‘ how about you come round mine after work, for um ... dinner’ he whispered into her ear

sam bit her lip and moved away from phil ‘ its not that i dont want to, its just abi, i dont know if she will be ok by her self’

‘ sam, im sure she will be fine look ‘ phil moved closer to sam ‘ im sure your going to have to leave her on her own soon enough... and well um...i was going to ask if you and abi want to spend christmas with me? bad moment to ask? ‘

‘ no...’

‘ what no? phil stood back, looking shocked

sam smiled ‘ no its not a bad moment to ask ‘ she laughed kissing phil ‘ and your right abi will be fine by herself, probaly would enjoy some time on her own... and i could do with a decent meal’ sam wrapped her arms around phils neck and slowly kissed him, moving her hands down towards him waist

‘ you shouldnt kiss me like that... im starting to wish this shift would end now’ he kissed her tenderly moving down her neck

‘ exsuse me philip!’ she laughed ‘ i think you can wait until later cant you?’ sam unwrapped her arms from phil and walked over to the door

‘i cant’ phil grabbed hold of sams arm and kissed her affectionately , pushing her against the door ‘ so... what you gonna do now miss nixon?’

‘anyone seen phil or samantha? ‘ neil walked back into CID

‘ no guv, sam went out and phil left about five minutes after’ jo answered

‘so how long have they been gone?’

‘ about an hour ago’ gary quickly added before jo could say a word

‘ right’ neil marched off jo quickly following, jo had some idea where the two off them could be with the way they had been acting, she quickly darted off to the interview room and knocked on the door

‘ sam... phil you in there? jo sighed

‘ um... one minute’ sam giggled jo could here them rushing about, phil rushed over to the door

‘ sorry about that jo... um sam was upset so i was...

‘ cheering her up?’ jo looked over to sam and raised her eyebrow ‘ look what ever you were doing i’d stop, the DI is on the war path id get back to CID if i was you’ jo started to walk off ‘ oh and dont make it so obvious that you two... are an ... um item’ jo laughed

‘ phil , my office now!’

phil looked over to sam and rolled his eyes ‘ right guv’

‘ close the door , sit!’

‘ yes sir, no sir ,three bags full sir’ he muttered

‘ i know what you and sam are up to’ neil smirked

‘and so wha...’

‘ and i’d keep an eye on her if i was you’

‘ are you threating me?’

‘ no phil, im just saying you should keep an eye on sam, you never know whos around the corner these days’

phil stood up ‘ if you hurt a single hair on her head, i will kill you!’

‘ oh dont worry i wont hurt her’ he laughed ‘ now get out!’

back at phils

‘ what happened in neils office?

‘ oh nothing... he...’ phil looked at sam he couldnt lie ‘ he threatend you

[hunterz_girl]

Hey you” phil whispered shaking sam slightly

‘ what time is it?’ sam yawned stretching her arms and wrapping them around phil

‘ 4.30’ he said kissing her

‘ w..what’ sam had to force her eyes to stay open ‘ why did you wake me up now?’ sam put the pillow over head ‘ go away ‘ she laughed

‘ come here, and you will see’ phil clambered out of bed and walked over to sam ‘ come on lazy, before it stops’ he pulled at sams hand

‘ ok, ok im getting up’ sam staggered out of bed , yawning ‘ what’ she said sulkingly

‘ look ‘ phil led her over to the window

‘ its snowing? thats what you wanted to show me!’ sam crossed her arms

‘ no , look’ phil put his arm around sam and pointed towards the ground where the words ‘i love you’ were written in the snow

‘ phil... tha... that is so sweet’ sam kissed him ‘ but i cant belive you were stupid enough to get up at this time of the morning and write that in the snow!’

phil sulked ‘ i thought you might like it’

‘ you may be stupid... but... i love you, stupid or not’

phil grinned ‘ good, because i love you too, lazy or not’ he kissed her ‘ now that were up... do you want a shower’

sam lent forward and whispered in his ear ‘ beat you there’

7.00 at sunhill

‘ phil, what you said about manson yesterday’ phil cut her off

‘ i’ll sort it, just promise you wont do anything’ he looked at her

‘ ok, i promise ‘ she sighed

‘ sam, im serious’ he put his arm on her shoulder ‘ and dont go anywhere by yourself ‘

‘ ok , ok i wont ‘ she laughed giving him a kiss

‘ but you promise me that you wont do anything stupid’

‘something stupid like ... what?’ he grinned

‘ oooo like say me getting a phone call form jack saying that neils lying in a hospital bed, and you in a cell? she laughed

‘ i’d only do that if you asked me ‘ he sighed ‘ ok i wont do anything stupid, but i will try and sort things out... with out putting him in a hospital bed ‘ both sam and phil burst out laughing

later during the day, phil and sam were talking when gary came in

‘ sarge your needed on an obbo ‘

‘ and who asked for me?’ sam sighed

‘ the DI ‘ gary looked confused ‘ why? ‘

sam looked at phil

‘ ok i’ll be right down’ phil stood up and took hold of sams arm

‘ you gonna be ok? his face full of concern

‘ yes, i’ll be ok i wont go anywhere with him by myself ‘ phil still had hold of her arm ‘ please ‘ she whispered

‘ ok, be carefull ‘ he lowered his voice ‘ i love you ‘

‘ i love you to’

phil stared at her as she walked offand he couldn’t help feeling a glow deep inside. He was in love and he was going to do everything in his power to make her happy and keep safe

[hunterz_girl]

they had been driving for 10 minutes now, there was a cold silence neither of them saying a word, sam thought she had better say something, the silence was making her nervous

‘ so, where are we going?’ sam waited for a reply ‘ guv?’

neil was lost in thought, could he really do this? he didnt like sam... but he didnt hate her enough to do what hugh wanted? these questions would haunt neil until he decided...

‘ sorry’ neil suddenly realised that sam had spoken ‘ theres been another robbery, we know the suspects and their planning an attack on some warehouses... ‘ neil trailed off , thinking of what hugh had said, what was really planned for sam when they arrived at the warehouse...

‘guv ... look i know we dont see eye to eye, but are you ok?’

‘ yes, and i would rather you take an intersest in this obbo, rather than my personal life!’ neil snapped

‘ yes guv’ sam sighed looking back out the window

nei looked at sam, why didnt he like her? because she was a women? was that the only reason?

‘sam im sorry, i shouldnt of snapped at you, its just... i dont see why you would care about my personal life’

‘ like you take an interset in mine!’ sam hissed glaring at him ‘ phil told me about you ‘warning’ him, what is it are you jealous?’

‘ no of course not! ‘ why would he be jealous of sam? maybe he was his marraige wasn’t going anywhere, maybe beacuse he could see sam and phil making a go of things made him... dare he say it ... ‘jealous’.

‘ so what is it then?’ sam shouted

he looked at her once again, there was no way he could lead her to hugh even if he didnt like her , he quickly turned down a road heading away from the warehouses

‘where are we going?’ sam started to look worried

‘ there was no obbo at the warehouse’ he carried on driving, heading back to the station

‘what!’ sam got her mobile out

please sam listen to me! hugh wanted me take you to him but i cant, youv’e got to get back to the station, tell phil to go to my office and i’ll explain’... just then a car swerved in front of neils, he quickly braked sending sam flying she hit her head off the dashboard, blood trickling down her head she looked up ... hugh

[hunterz_girl]

sam looked over to neil , he had been knocked out his head was resting on the steering wheel, sam paniked, she quickly tried to get her seatbelt off

‘****’ she tugged at it and finally managed to get it off she flung the door open she hadnt noticed that hugh was standing by the car

‘hugh’ sam stopped she couldnt move she noticed he was holding something... a gun

‘ you cant go anywhere now, and poor neil cant help you, not that he is much help anyway’ hugh moved towards sam and grabbed her arm’ now come with me ‘ he dragged sam and pushed her against the car handcuffing her and pushed her in the car’ wheres phil now then? he laughed and got back in and drove off

back at sunhill

‘ whats going on? ‘ phil managed to ask gary who was rushing around

‘ neils been involved in an accident’

‘what!’ wheres sam?’

‘ you need to talk to jack about that ‘ gary rushed off again ‘ sorry!’

[hunterz_girl]

guv where is sam? is she ok? ‘ phil ran into jacks office

‘phil sit down’ jack moved over and closed the door ‘ just sit phil!’

‘weve been here before havn’t we hugh?’ sam shouted

‘one difference though, mr lover boy isnt here is he!’ ‘ hugh picked sam up and held her up against the wall, he had hold off her colar on her jacket, he had it wrapped tightly around her neck, she could feel it tightening it was choking her

‘and when ive finshed with you, no-one will want to touch you, not even phil ‘ he hissed

‘what?’ sam gasped for air, her breathing was unsteady and she was becoming scared, the look in hughs eye was different, he was really going to hurt her, she couldnt let him see she was scared, if she did that then there was no hope left

‘ and how are you going to do that?’ her voice was quiet and shakey

hugh stroked her face ‘ you’ll find out’ he laughed ‘ and how is abi now? shes back with her mother who couldnt even stop her from getting abducted, shes as pathetic as you are!’ sam felt a sudden rage building inside her, she rushed forward at hugh knocking him over, she saw a metal pole lying on the floor , she swung it at hugh but missed

‘ you little cow! ‘ hugh grabbed hold of the pole, him and sam both fighting for it but hugh was too strong , he smashed the pole against sam and pinned her to the wall

‘ you shouldn’t make me angry! i dont do nice things when im angry’ he hissed pushing sam to the floor... what was he going to do her? sam had never been so scared in her life, she tried to scream but she couldnt, what use would it be anyway no-one would here her... hugh just laughed and walked towards her...

"W... what... what the hell is going on?" sam gasped, her voice trembling.

sheI tried to fight back but he was twice as strong, as I He pinned her me down she couldn't fight him off. Tears streamed down her face, she let out a scream, she couldnt let this happen

‘That's right you bitch, getting what you finally deserve’

sam begged him to stop but he just laughed and hit her, ripped at her clothes, she tired to fight him off but she couldnt. he bruised her flesh, biting and groping her painfully. he bit her roughly on the shoulder and sam felt blood trickle down her back. she suddenly felt him holding her feet down with his body weight as he unzipped his pants.

‘ no ‘ sam screamed ‘ please’ tears now flowing from her eyes

sam started to struggle but he laughed. The last thing she felt was pain like she had never felt before as he thrust himself into her, A bloodcurdling scream left her throat as he forcefully thrust himself into her body. how could this happen to her...she then passed out

phil walked slowly back to his house, jack had thought he would be for the best if phil wasn’t involved in the search for sam, as he opened the door he broke down sobbing into a bottle of vodka... it was the best way to forget, forget what hugh could be doing to sam... forgeting the images that were haunting his mind...images of sam lying dead somwhere he knew he shouldn’t think like that but hugh was capable of anything. phil stayed where he was all night slowly passing out from the affects of drinking to much acohol...

[hunterz_girl]

there was a loud bang on the door, phil was still lying motionless on the floor , there was another bang and phil began to wake up, jack looked through the letterbox and saw phil lying there

‘ for gods sake’ jack walked back and rushed towards phils door, managing to break in ‘ phil what the hell have you done to yourself’ jack bent down and managed to get phil to stand up, he walked him to the the kitchen and sat him down at the table, he fetched a glass of water and some paracetomol

‘take these ‘ he sighed , phil took them and put his head into his hands

‘any news of sam yet?’ he yawned looking up at jack, his expression told him that they had ‘ its bad isnt it, she...she isnt...’

‘no, no of course not, shes been found ... but in a bad way, she was found dumped by the river she at the hospital now’

phil stood up, nerly falling over ‘ ive got to see her’ he walked out the corrider and picked up his keys

‘ phil, i’ll drive’ jack took his keys off and headed for the door

‘what for’ sam was standing at phils door , she looked down and saw the bottle of vodka lying on the floor and looked at phil, she noticed that he still had the same clothes on she sighed and walked through to the kitchen

‘ i’ll leave you two to it then’ jack picked up his own keys ‘ i’ll come back later ok’ he looked at sam and then at phil and shook his head ‘ look after her phil’

phil walked through to the kitchen ‘ sam... ‘ she turned round tears falling from her eyes ‘ whats up babe’ phil walked over to sam and put his arms round her, sam flinched ‘ dont ‘

‘what?’ phil looked hurt, ‘ wh... what happened?’ he walked back giving sam some space, he looked at her face she was covered in bruises her arms covered in cuts and grazes he put his hand on her shoulder making her move again he moved his hand down her arm and noticed a deep cut, which looked like...a bite,

‘ sam...’ he looked up at her but she moved her face away , she couldnt bear to look at him, she felt dirty how could she let that happen to her, she could still feel him, smell him all over her she had to get out, visions were running through her head...

‘ look phil ‘ she moved his hand from her ‘ i need to go home’

‘ um... ok i’ll give you a lift’

‘ no its ok...i’ll walk’ she walked over to the front door, phil could feel himself needing to cry, his insides felt like someone was twisting them ‘dont i get a kiss..or even a goodbye? he lent against the wall and lent in for a kiss

‘ dont phil! just leave me alone’ sam broke down, tears rolling of her cheeks, she couldnt breathe properly... phil put his arm round her, tears now falling slowly down his face ‘ babe... talk to me...what did he do to you?’

sam looked up at phil, she wanted to tell him but everytime she went to say the words ‘ he raped me’ the voice of hughs words were ringing inside her head, she head to fight this, she couldnt do it herself...

‘ he... he raped me phil! and i let him! i couldnt stop him he just...’ sam was now screaming phil tried to calm her down but she lashed out at him hitting him

‘ sam stop it!’ phil managed to get hold of her arms ‘ its not your fault!’ sam was still sobbing, she fell into phils arms ‘ i couldnt get him off me’ she whispered ‘ im sorry’

[hunterz_girl]

It was now late and phil decided that it would be better to let sam sleep on her own, he sat on the chair by his desk and started to catch up on some of his work, he knew there was no point trying to sleep he couldnt... the clocked kept ticking and it was soon 2am and phil was getting tired he quietly crept downstairs, first checking that sam was ok then slowly walking down the stairs he had just got into the kitchen when he heard sam screaming he quicklly dropped his mug, smashing it on the floor and rushed up the stairs

‘ sam, sam its ok!’ he quickly sat on the bed and held sam in his arms, she continued to cry for a long time and phil still sat there rocking her in his arms, gently stroking her blonde hair from her face. sam finally drifted off back to sleep, she was still lying in his arms so he decided to try and get some sleep too.

phil awoke hoping that he wake up and everything would just be a dream, that he and sam would still be lying together watching as the snow fell, he opened his eyes... sam was gone he paniked quickly jumping of the bed and rushing downstairs... sam was sitting at the table she was holding a cup of tea which had gone cold, there was blood on her hands

‘sam! what the hell...’ he quickly put a hand on her shoulder

‘ i cleared up that cup you dropped’ she turned round to look at him ‘ dont worry i havnt done anything stupid’ she hissed

‘ i never meant... ‘ he sighed ‘ sam im trying my hardest to be here for you...you just seem... depressed’

‘ i was raped phil! what else im i meant to be like! i wouldnt expect you to understand though! your life has always been perfect hasnt it!’

phil just nodded. ‘ if thats how you feel

‘I’m sorry.’ She said, wiping her eyes . ‘I get emotional.’

‘You never show it.’ phil knelt down beside sam and wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

‘I’m afraid I’ll be laughed at or people will show me pity know I shouldn’t care and I usually don’t but…’

‘Feel free to cry and show emotion in front of me, i love you sam i always will, i’ll never hurt you or laugh at you, i want to know all your fears how ever small, i want to be able to hold you in my arms and make you feel safe’

‘ you do phil! when im with you i feel like no-one can ever hurt me again...’ she began to cry again

‘ shh its ok, im gonna look after you’