Customer: Worcester sauce please mate...
Shop Keeper: Sorry can't, it's off the shelves, cancer scare.

C: Oh right, uh Chinese Chicken Wings?
SK: Ah that's the same mate, cancer scare

C: Hamburger Relish?
SK: Cancer scare

C: Sausage and Mash?
SK: Cancer scare

C: Cottage Pie?
SK: Aye, ...no wait, cancer scare.

C: So they're all off the shelves because of a cancer scare?
SK: Yup.

C: Jaysus, that's mad, just give me a packet of fags then.
SK: No bother. £5.25 please.

C: Thanks