finish my sentance

[chance]

hello?
hi paul its leo.hmmm leo who? dicaprio who else? hmm ok whats the magic word then? please? thankyou? i know! abracadbra! yes thats right says paul ok how can i help? leo explained what had happened and paul said hed be right over with his suitcase of magic tricks and his wand,saying 'we'l soon have you out!.......

[pie_man]

Paul flew over immediatley on this dyson vac along with his box of tricks. He managed to locate Leo instantly and opened his box of tricks. First however he took out his health and safety manual and read it and asked Leo to sign a disclaimer.........
Leo:"Yes Paul! I haven't time to be messing about......get me outta here!!!!"
Paul:"Leo i have to follow rules. Rules are there to be followed"
Leo:"Paul! shut up and get me out!"
Paul:"Now now.......please wait.......where's that sledge hammer?"

Paul proceeded to hit the toilet and with one mighty swing cracked open the toilet and Leo was free. But wait what had happened to his head?

[Rene Descartes]

The once handsome Leo now looked like a clenched fist.

Paul opened his book of magic tricks....

Trick one - place paper bag on head.
Trick two - run and dont look back.

Leo was free but looked more like shrek!

[pie_man]

Leo looked around and saw Paul flying off on his Dyson. Aarrrrrrrrgggggghhh!!! Leo saw himself in th mirror - "I look like a clenched fist" how am I ever going to collect this award - the oscars are for beautiful people. Its a shame Shrek collected his award last year - may be i can put a bag over my head? may be I can ...... no its useless. I'll have to phone the devil and sign my soul away (just like all the others at the oscars)..... . LEo gets on his mobile and taps away 0845 999 666 ......someone answers.....

[Rene Descartes]

Telephone Voice: "you rang M'Lord"

LEO: "What?....What number is this?"

Voice: "Why My Lord its 0845 999 666. The number of Beelzebub"

LEO: "Bumblebee Who?"

Voice: "You Know Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, The Lord Of Darkness, The Devil, Satan"

Leo: "Right.. Right.. Now why did you call me M'Lord"

Voice: " Have you forgotten Sire. For you are The Devil"

Leo faints for a few seconds before recovering

Leo: "you must have me mistaken. I cannot possibly be the devil. I am a Hollywood actor"

Voice: "Sire have you forgotten everything, are you feeling all right. Did you bump your head?"

Leo: "Well Umm... yes I did.."

Voice: "I am just flicking through the post it note you left me just in case you lost your memory or started to enjoy being a human too much. Ahh here it is . let me see now - in case of memory loss say Oscars backwards."

Leo turns around and says oscars. Nothing happens. "Nothing happened"

Voice: "No I mean say the word Oscars backwards. Thats SRACSO"

Leo: "SRACSO"

Whooosh. Leo remembers everything. The devil had hatched a most devious plan for world domination. He would become an actor and then work his way up in Hollywood by becoming an A list Star with great influence and power. Beeming himself into the theatre screens and living rooms of everyone. To complete his missions he would have to win an Oscar. For on the day he would win an Oscar the Devil would be able to raise his army of ghouls and goblins otherwise known as the Film Actors Guild (FAG).

What suprised the Devil was how meterioc his rise had been for what little acting talent he had.

[bernard]

he then realised, that all you need is good looks to be sucessfull in this business. acting talent means nothing if you've got pig **** for a face.
leo was now running late. he had a shower, put his sharpest suit on and ran off to the oscars to set his plan of world domination in motion

[pie_man]

As he approached the building glued a picture of himself on to his "clinched fist" like face and ran inside. He looked lifeless but who cared it was Leo (the Satan).....and it was going to be his night. All the big celebs were there....

[chance]

now which one should i be seen talking to as to make sure i am in the papers tomorrow whether i win a oscar or not.....

[pie_man]

...but I must win....where's the hosts (the Beckhams)......if I can get them to look into my eyes i can put them into a trance or I have to get them to drink this magic potion. Leo tries to make his way to the Beckhams but keeps getting stopped by all the celebs he knows.....

[chance]

just as he is finally within reaching distance brooklyn trips him up and he goes headfirst in to all the champagne!......