25 ways
to tell if you have finally grown up
1. Your
houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2.
Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You
keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00
AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You
hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You
watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your
friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".
8. You
go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9.
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10.
You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't
turn down the stereo.
11.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You
don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You
feed your dog/cat Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You
take naps from noon to 6 PM
17.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18.
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than
settle, your stomach.
19. If
you're a girl, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms
and pregnancy tests.
20. A
$4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You
actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I
just can't drink the way I used to..." replaces "I'm never going to drink that
much again."
23. 90%
of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24.
When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate her instead of asking
"Oh S*$#! What Happened!?!?!?!
25. You
read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you
and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.
Then
you forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause you know they'll
enjoy it & do the same.
