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Thread: Jokes

  1. #51
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    Pantherboy (05-05-2018)

  3. #52
    Join Date
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    The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a saloon
    and sat down to drink a beer.

    After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said
    "Who owns the big white horse outside?"

    The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said,
    "I do....Why?"

    The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said,
    "I just thought you’d like to know
    that your horse is almost dead outside!"

    The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough
    Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion.

    The Lone Ranger got the horse water
    and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.

    The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said,
    "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver
    and see if you can create enough of a breeze
    to make him start to feel better."

    Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe"
    and took off running circles around Silver.

    Not able to do anything else but wait,
    the Lone Ranger returned to the saloon to finish his drink.

    A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks,
    "Who owns that big white horse outside?"
    The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims,
    "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"

    Nothing, but you left your injun runnin!"

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    Perdita (09-06-2018)

  5. #53
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    During a recent medical, a doctor asked a retired woman about her physical activity level. The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week in the outdoors.

    "Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull Elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine.

    Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoor woman!"

    "No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really, really horrible golfer".

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    Perdita (18-06-2018)

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