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Thread: Garry Bushell's Reviews on EastEnders

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    Garry Bushell's Reviews on EastEnders

    This is the most recent one but the rest are older, you'll see any newer ones though at the end of the topic. I'm just posting some older ones first though. It's kind of back to front.


    BBC1 is trying to make EastEnders funnier. It's like putting tinsel on a gallows. The soap does comedy about as well as the California legal system convicts celebrities. This week’s laugh-fest had driving instructor Michael Rawlins making a pass at chain-smoking pensioner Dot Branning. Naturally Michael’s attempts to interest her in the black arts of front-seat reclining, use of horn in day-time, and advanced clutch work back-fired like Jim’s old banger on a frosty morning. Dot was so shocked she just got the L out of there. She wasn’t the only one. Is there really a man alive who would find Dot irresistible? The sanctimonious old windbag is so far beyond frigid that she refused to get jiggy with husband Jim on their wedding night. If Dot lay on a waterbed it’d ice up. What would Michael see in her? And if his eyes are that bad should he be driving?

    June Brown is a marvelous comic actress. But like the equally gifted John Bardon, she needs humour drawn from dialogue, character and believable situations; not corny, seventies-style sitcom set-ups. Parked cars that suddenly roll down hills are as desperate as the soap’s usual comic staple: animals on the loose. In truth Zoe’s big punch was funnier. She would have done Chrissie more damage by swinging her enormous new knockers at her. But if Walford’s comedy doesn’t pass muster, it’s vital that we buy in to the big storylines. I can’t, can you? On Friday, they were back: love’s young scream, Dennis and Sharon for yet more borderline incest; while Thursday laid the foundations for reuniting Alfie and Kat. Kat spoke about “papering over” the problems in her marriage the way her parents had done. But her mum’s fling with a milkman is hardly on par with Kat sleeping with a (plastic) gangster, sodding off for half a year and going on the game. There may be blokes who would take her back, but I don’t know any. Every time Alfie went out he’d be expecting to come back and find her under a busload of sailors. Face it, Enders won’t get better till Grant kicks down Chrissie’s front door, pours himself a pint and knocks her up on the Queen Vic carpet.
    Last edited by Treacle; 19-06-2005 at 17:51.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Walford Queen

    Face it, Enders won’t get better till Grant kicks down Chrissie’s front door, pours himself a pint and knocks her up on the Queen Vic carpet.
    im sorry but that is funny!

    but the rest is too harsh, who is this pillack? who does he think he is ripping the nation's best soap opera

    someone should go around to his office and bitch slap him where it hurts!

    bondboffin

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    I agree

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    FAT Pat will be Dot’s new driving instructor. Hurrah. That’s Pat who killed a girl while driving drunk. Next: Graham the rapist returns to run a charm school…

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    While he may have some good points (for example, I don't think comedy is EE strong point), they're completely overshadowed by the fact that his remarks are rude and completely unnecessary.

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    EVERYONE is talking about EastEnders, and mostly they’re saying when did Zoe's boobs get so big and bouncy? What’s happened here? Zoe’s chest has expanded like Sonia’s backside. And yet no-one in a market full of trappy traders seems to have noticed. Lovely Zoe, played by Michelle Ryan, is about to quit Albert Square. Can you blame her? Look what she’s been through: her uncle was her dad, her sister was her mum, her best friend was a brass, her boyfriend ran off with his sister, his dad forced her into bed, and then she helped kill him. It’s a wonder she’s not leaving in a designer straight-jacket.

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    WHAT a week on EastEnders. We heard Minty sing for the first time (and let’s pray the last.) Alfie worked the market stall in drag. While in an all-action Thursday, Johnny had the Brannings round for tea. And they say the soap is getting better… It probably will, with the Mitchells returning, but it needs kamikaze not karaoke. Line up the writers and have them fall on their pens. There have been more smiles lately. More banter in the market. Kat back and on form, flogging “dresses that don’t crease no matter ‘ow ‘ard he squeezes”, and the immortal Dot and Jim (“No drinking out of yer saucer!”). But the next big storyline is Sharon and Dennis returning as an item which still feels creepy. And they need to keep the characters consistent. Appalling Pauline was almost reasonable this week. It’s unheard of. Poor Garry once had three women on the go at the same time. Since moving in with Minty, he’s had the sex-life of a Trekkie with halitosis. And surely Johnny would be better as a semi-retired villain than a Good Samaritan? It wasn’t gangsters viewers objected to but plastic ones.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Walford Queen
    EVERYONE is talking about EastEnders, and mostly they’re saying when did Zoe's boobs get so big and bouncy? What’s happened here? Zoe’s chest has expanded like Sonia’s backside. And yet no-one in a market full of trappy traders seems to have noticed. Lovely Zoe, played by Michelle Ryan, is about to quit Albert Square. Can you blame her? Look what she’s been through: her uncle was her dad, her sister was her mum, her best friend was a brass, her boyfriend ran off with his sister, his dad forced her into bed, and then she helped kill him. It’s a wonder she’s not leaving in a designer straight-jacket.
    lmao WALFORD QUEEN, u r creasing me up!!! ur a very funny person!!!

    i'm luving your comments, keep it up

    bondboffin

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    I HAD a guided tour of EastEnders set this week. The Beeb even sent a car for me – sadly not Jim’s Morris 1,000; that was otherwise engaged, possibly on MTV’s Pimp My Ride. But it was all very enjoyable. Close up, you notice odd things. For example, there’s a Harley Davidson poster hanging up at Alfie’s place. So now we know what Nana does at weekends. Wicksy’s car is still parked up off the square (just as well Walford is outside of the congestion charge zone). But oddly there’s no sign of Mark Fowler’s motorbike, which he left to gormless Garry Hobbs. That seems as forgotten as Johnny’s stolen cars and the £3grand he lent Billy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bondboffin
    lmao WALFORD QUEEN, u r creasing me up!!! ur a very funny person!!!

    i'm luving your comments, keep it up

    bondboffin
    They're Garry Bushells. I'm turning this into his official thread.

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